[ ... it would be nice if it COULD let her see those memories properly again. she's lost the names and faces of so many of her friends. but ...
but. ]
If you and Red Son-san think it has a strong chance of helping ... I think I'm open to trying * with the understanding that I don't have to do anything if I don't want to.
Of course. I wouldn't make you do anything you didn't want to, if things get rough we can stop anytime.
And if for some reason Red Son lost his mind and tried to push you, I'll kick his ass. How's that? [ This is thrown in as a joke, he doesn't think Red would do anything of the like. ]
it's kinda funny how confused he gets "why are you like this, pigeon girl" "well MAYBE it's because you've been so busy being kind to me literally every time we've interacted" (‾◡◝)
let me know what kinds of things you'd want to see and i'll see what i can come up with the day they switched the pendants from an outside power source to us might be a good one?
He gets easily confused by people with social skills.
That seems promising as a lead for information. You probably have a good sense of what's important, since those would be things that struck a big nerve. Anything that involves the pendant, but other things leave their impact on the soul.
--Sucks that it has to be the bad ones that will give us what we might need. The best we can do is give you as much control as possible over how to walk through this.
(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) so i've noticed he's very sweet in his own way though.
[ red son is cute and she WILL say it ]
has red son-san talked to you about the soul scan he did?
it's like i said: i'm willing to share the bad stuff if it's for a good reason and "the best you can do" is huge to me, macaque-san. i really can't emphasise that enough. breaking the limiter will mean that i can do more to help people. i'll be able to keep myself safer, so the people who care about me won't have to worry so much. and it'll be one more link to my least favorite person in the multiverse broken for good. hopefully the LAST one.
It gave me an idea. We weren't sure whether you'd be comfortable with it or not, it's entirely up to you, but it could give us more of a differentiation of what parts of your soul are the pendant vs. which are the objectives/taboos or other things.
I have the ability to absorb other people's magic. Before you get nervous, it's a long cast and I can do it partially, which would not transfer the abilities in any way either of us would feel but would give my soul a tint from your pendant. If I cancel the spell with it incomplete, nothing happens at all.
If Red Son scans my soul before I do this partial transfer, and then again once I've got enough portion of the spell complete, he'll be able to see faint magical imprints of your magic on my soul and he'll know precisely what it is, which will help him interpret your scans. And then I'd cancel my spell and there'd be no transfer. Nothing would happen.
We know that you might not be comfortable with this for a variety of reasons. You'd be trusting me with your magic and your soul, that's a lot to ask. So it's fine if you don't want to, or you need to think about it.
...I don't usually admit to people that I can do this. [ Since it could change the way someone sees him and it shows his hand in a way he typically wouldn't. He's adding this admission at the end to hopefully show that he's not asking her to put herself out there in this very personal way without him doing a bit of the same. ]
thank you for being willing to share that with me, and trusting me.
[ She can understand why he'd prefer to keep that one a secret. Holy shit. That's kind of a lot. But it's still Macaque. A power being potentially terrifying doesn't mean the person who wields it is; she knows that. ]
i'm trying to imagine how it'd work logistically. it sounds a little like a remote file transfer between computers? where the receiving computer can see the data coming over but can't do anything with it until it completes and it's not gone from the original computer until it completes either ?
I'm new to computers, but the analogy is correct. The powers would show up on my soul scan but I wouldn't be able to use them, and they wouldn't be away from you.
and my soul wouldn't go anywhere it's not supposed to, or otherwise be affected
[ just. reiterating that to herself, both outloud and in text. ]
are both you and red son-san 100% confident that there's no risk to YOU? because if any part of any of this hurts either of you i swear to god i'll kick all three of our asses
No, I can't steal souls. Only powers. Yours being so closely tied to your soul is the only reason it would even show up on my soul scan.
We're not fully confident that it won't hurt me at all, no. I don't think it would, but claiming 100% would be lying.
Risk to him is something we're not sure of. He's not used to doing so many scans in quick succession. It could mean his mind goes a little off and I'd need to talk him back or knock him out. He could tell you more specifically about it if you want to ask.
There's no scenario where there's 0% risk to us, if I'm perfectly honest. Trying to fix your problem is going to mean interacting with your powers and soul on some level.
i get that nothing is without risk, and some things are inherently more risky than others
[ and some things are inherently selfish, like asking for help with something that carries many, many of those inherent risks!! she's asked herself this a few times since red son first broached the subject, but once again, with feeling: what the FUCK is she doing?! ]
[ there's some stopping and starting for ... a good while, as she goes back and forth and round and round, arguing with herself ]
you wouldn't have offered any of this if you didn't genuinely want to help me
No. Neither of us would. What was done to you is unfair. We can't fix everything about that, but this one thing we perhaps might be able to change. And we'd like to try.
But this is your magic, your soul, and your conscience if some of the unlikely scenarios do come to pass. It's up to us to offer our help, and up to you whether to accept it.
If you'd rather things stay as they are, then I won't ask about it again and we'll train given your existing parameters.
[ Korone takes a moment to sit with that. Both of them ... all it took was one look to decide they couldn't let this slide in silence. Even though neither of them have any reason to care about her, really, and they'd be saving themselves a lot of time, trouble, and potential hurt by simply ... not.
Neither of them would have offered if they hadn't meant it. They wouldn't. They're too - straightforward? No, that's not the right word. Honest, maybe? ... Upfront. Honorable, in their own ways, and with far more kindness in their hearts than they'd maybe want to admit. ]
i hate the idea of either of you getting hurt for my sake and it feels so selfish, even though i know logically, reasonably, that it's okay to need help. to want help. and that i'm not pushing you into doing anything you don't want to; i couldn't and i wouldn't. same way you're not pushing me.
at the same time now that i know it might be possible ... i do want it. the pendant is one of the only ways i have to protect people. it's one of the only things that helps ME feel safe. the idea of being able to use it, without an axe over my head? the idea of it being fully MINE? i can't tell you how huge that feels.
i think i need to sit with it for a day or two. if i say one way or another now i'm going to second-guess myself into a spiral, and that's not helpful to anyone.
Good girl. This is a big decision, taking a few days to think about it is wise and the right choice. And if you need longer, take it. We're not going anywhere. [ Presumably. They might literally vanish, any of them might, but he's speaking in terms of them changing their minds about helping her, that's the part that's not going anywhere. ]
In the meantime we can work on being able to do the most with what you've got.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend [ he keeps expecting for that to sound weird but it doesn't anymore ] Sun Wukong. He's better at sealing magic than I am, and extremely powerful. He might be able to help.
I won't tell him anything about your situation in advance, that's your decision, but if you like him and want to trust him, I think he could help, and I know he would want to. He's a big softie for people that need help.
I'm sure you'll be able to trust him, you've trusted me and I'm not near as good as he is.
[ after she's wiped her eyes on a cute turtle plushie — ]
[ excuse. "not nearly as good" HER FOOT. ]
you're awesome and i'm glad i met you
[ so there. huff. ]
i'm open to trying if you and red son-san vouch for him
speaking of wukong-san though ... mk-san and i were talking on the network a few weeks back, about my shields. i asked if he'd be interested in helping me test them and he offered to with his regular strength, then said he could maybe try going further than that if wukong-san, red son-san, or both were there to supervise i meant to run that by you earlier, since you offered to take me on as a student and it felt like one of those things we'd absolutely definitely 100% need to have you guys on-board for in advance
Wukong and Red Son have a complicated relationship, but he'd vouch for Wukong for this. If your bringing Wukong up results in some grumbling don't be surprised, it's unrelated.
[ he might have had some further reaction to that "awesome/glad I met you" thing if the next words she typed were anything else. ]
[ Of course MK would just offer this willy-nilly to someone who he has next to no idea whether she can defend herself. At least he said someone had to be there. ]
[ ....Someone, but not Macaque. Okay let's not read into that... ]
As long as he starts with his regular strength and someone is there, it's fine. I'll be there myself if it's all right with you. [ He's not sure what specifically is motivating him to want to be there personally but whatever he's not going to psychoanalyze it (now). ]
[ Stunningly, that soothes his sore feelings a little. ]
I'm okay with you trying the shield's strength, yes. If you want to train with MK beyond that, he needs to know your limitations. He's sort of like a puppy when he gets excited about something, so it's important that he know you have a hard limit.
ooh, hm 🤔 i can let him know how squishy i am!! ... but. i'll admit, i have a tendency to get caught up in excitement too
... actually, and please know that i'm sighing very loudly right now, you could maybe talk to donnie about it? he's sometimes a better judge for my limits than i am if you do, tell him he has my permission to spill whatever tea he feels he needs to, but also that i reserve the right to deck him if he's obnoxious
I'll talk to him, but I can judge your limits for myself.
You'll find it's not terribly easy to lie to me about such things. [ He's a lie detector in general but injuries specifically have so many physiological tells. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ ... it would be nice if it COULD let her see those memories properly again. she's lost the names and faces of so many of her friends. but ...
but. ]
If you and Red Son-san think it has a strong chance of helping
... I think I'm open to trying
* with the understanding that I don't have to do anything if I don't want to.
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And if for some reason Red Son lost his mind and tried to push you, I'll kick his ass. How's that? [ This is thrown in as a joke, he doesn't think Red would do anything of the like. ]
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and i trust that you wouldn't either.
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"why are you like this, pigeon girl"
"well MAYBE it's because you've been so busy being kind to me literally every time we've interacted"
(‾◡◝)
let me know what kinds of things you'd want to see and i'll see what i can come up with
the day they switched the pendants from an outside power source to us might be a good one?
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That seems promising as a lead for information. You probably have a good sense of what's important, since those would be things that struck a big nerve. Anything that involves the pendant, but other things leave their impact on the soul.
--Sucks that it has to be the bad ones that will give us what we might need. The best we can do is give you as much control as possible over how to walk through this.
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he's very sweet in his own way though.
[ red son is cute and she WILL say it ]
has red son-san talked to you about the soul scan he did?
it's like i said: i'm willing to share the bad stuff if it's for a good reason
and "the best you can do" is huge to me, macaque-san. i really can't emphasise that enough.
breaking the limiter will mean that i can do more to help people. i'll be able to keep myself safer, so the people who care about me won't have to worry so much.
and it'll be one more link to my least favorite person in the multiverse broken for good. hopefully the LAST one.
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It gave me an idea. We weren't sure whether you'd be comfortable with it or not, it's entirely up to you, but it could give us more of a differentiation of what parts of your soul are the pendant vs. which are the objectives/taboos or other things.
I have the ability to absorb other people's magic. Before you get nervous, it's a long cast and I can do it partially, which would not transfer the abilities in any way either of us would feel but would give my soul a tint from your pendant. If I cancel the spell with it incomplete, nothing happens at all.
If Red Son scans my soul before I do this partial transfer, and then again once I've got enough portion of the spell complete, he'll be able to see faint magical imprints of your magic on my soul and he'll know precisely what it is, which will help him interpret your scans. And then I'd cancel my spell and there'd be no transfer. Nothing would happen.
We know that you might not be comfortable with this for a variety of reasons. You'd be trusting me with your magic and your soul, that's a lot to ask. So it's fine if you don't want to, or you need to think about it.
...I don't usually admit to people that I can do this. [ Since it could change the way someone sees him and it shows his hand in a way he typically wouldn't. He's adding this admission at the end to hopefully show that he's not asking her to put herself out there in this very personal way without him doing a bit of the same. ]
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[ O... Oh. ]
thank you for being willing to share that with me, and trusting me.
[ She can understand why he'd prefer to keep that one a secret. Holy shit. That's kind of a lot. But it's still Macaque. A power being potentially terrifying doesn't mean the person who wields it is; she knows that. ]
i'm trying to imagine how it'd work
logistically.
it sounds a little like a remote file transfer between computers? where the receiving computer can see the data coming over but can't do anything with it until it completes
and it's not gone from the original computer until it completes either
?
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I'm new to computers, but the analogy is correct. The powers would show up on my soul scan but I wouldn't be able to use them, and they wouldn't be away from you.
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[ just. reiterating that to herself, both outloud and in text. ]
are both you and red son-san 100% confident that there's no risk to YOU?
because if any part of any of this hurts either of you i swear to god i'll kick all three of our asses
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We're not fully confident that it won't hurt me at all, no. I don't think it would, but claiming 100% would be lying.
Risk to him is something we're not sure of. He's not used to doing so many scans in quick succession. It could mean his mind goes a little off and I'd need to talk him back or knock him out. He could tell you more specifically about it if you want to ask.
There's no scenario where there's 0% risk to us, if I'm perfectly honest. Trying to fix your problem is going to mean interacting with your powers and soul on some level.
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i get that
nothing is without risk, and some things are inherently more risky than others
[ and some things are inherently selfish, like asking for help with something that carries many, many of those inherent risks!! she's asked herself this a few times since red son first broached the subject, but once again, with feeling: what the FUCK is she doing?! ]
[ there's some stopping and starting for ... a good while, as she goes back and forth and round and round, arguing with herself ]
you wouldn't have offered any of this if you didn't genuinely want to help me
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No. Neither of us would. What was done to you is unfair. We can't fix everything about that, but this one thing we perhaps might be able to change. And we'd like to try.
But this is your magic, your soul, and your conscience if some of the unlikely scenarios do come to pass. It's up to us to offer our help, and up to you whether to accept it.
If you'd rather things stay as they are, then I won't ask about it again and we'll train given your existing parameters.
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[ Korone takes a moment to sit with that. Both of them ... all it took was one look to decide they couldn't let this slide in silence. Even though neither of them have any reason to care about her, really, and they'd be saving themselves a lot of time, trouble, and potential hurt by simply ... not.
Neither of them would have offered if they hadn't meant it. They wouldn't. They're too - straightforward? No, that's not the right word. Honest, maybe? ... Upfront. Honorable, in their own ways, and with far more kindness in their hearts than they'd maybe want to admit. ]
i hate the idea of either of you getting hurt for my sake
and it feels so selfish, even though i know logically, reasonably, that it's okay to need help. to want help. and that i'm not pushing you into doing anything you don't want to; i couldn't and i wouldn't.
same way you're not pushing me.
at the same time
now that i know it might be possible ...
i do want it. the pendant is one of the only ways i have to protect people. it's one of the only things that helps ME feel safe. the idea of being able to use it, without an axe over my head? the idea of it being fully MINE? i can't tell you how huge that feels.
i think i need to sit with it for a day or two. if i say one way or another now i'm going to second-guess myself into a spiral, and that's not helpful to anyone.
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Good girl. This is a big decision, taking a few days to think about it is wise and the right choice. And if you need longer, take it. We're not going anywhere. [ Presumably. They might literally vanish, any of them might, but he's speaking in terms of them changing their minds about helping her, that's the part that's not going anywhere. ]
In the meantime we can work on being able to do the most with what you've got.
1/2
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thank you
[ it's the best she can do while trying not to drip all over her phone ]
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I'd like to introduce you to my friend [ he keeps expecting for that to sound weird but it doesn't anymore ] Sun Wukong. He's better at sealing magic than I am, and extremely powerful. He might be able to help.
I won't tell him anything about your situation in advance, that's your decision, but if you like him and want to trust him, I think he could help, and I know he would want to. He's a big softie for people that need help.
I'm sure you'll be able to trust him, you've trusted me and I'm not near as good as he is.
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[ excuse. "not nearly as good" HER FOOT. ]
you're awesome and i'm glad i met you
[ so there. huff. ]
i'm open to trying if you and red son-san vouch for him
speaking of wukong-san though ... mk-san and i were talking on the network a few weeks back, about my shields. i asked if he'd be interested in helping me test them and he offered to with his regular strength, then said he could maybe try going further than that if wukong-san, red son-san, or both were there to supervise
i meant to run that by you earlier, since you offered to take me on as a student
and it felt like one of those things we'd absolutely definitely 100% need to have you guys on-board for in advance
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[ he might have had some further reaction to that "awesome/glad I met you" thing if the next words she typed were anything else. ]
[ Of course MK would just offer this willy-nilly to someone who he has next to no idea whether she can defend herself. At least he said someone had to be there. ]
[ ....Someone, but not Macaque. Okay let's not read into that... ]
As long as he starts with his regular strength and someone is there, it's fine. I'll be there myself if it's all right with you. [ He's not sure what specifically is motivating him to want to be there personally but whatever he's not going to psychoanalyze it (now). ]
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so, yes please!
IF you're sure you're okay with it
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I'm okay with you trying the shield's strength, yes. If you want to train with MK beyond that, he needs to know your limitations. He's sort of like a puppy when he gets excited about something, so it's important that he know you have a hard limit.
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i can let him know how squishy i am!! ... but.
i'll admit, i have a tendency to get caught up in excitement too
... actually, and please know that i'm sighing very loudly right now, you could maybe talk to donnie about it? he's sometimes a better judge for my limits than i am
if you do, tell him he has my permission to spill whatever tea he feels he needs to, but also that i reserve the right to deck him if he's obnoxious
[ she's pre-emptively tattling on herself :( ]
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You'll find it's not terribly easy to lie to me about such things. [ He's a lie detector in general but injuries specifically have so many physiological tells. ]
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