"I thought...I thought if I could convince him we could be good then...then he'd stop being so afraid to...to let things in so he doesn't HAVE to be, but..." He whines again and tightens his hold on Macaque. "This was easier when I didn't care about people...I could just go whatever and move on."
"I think that sometimes too. That things were easier when I was alone and didn't care. But I'm so much happier now, even during the bad times. I wouldn't trade it."
"It's because there's farther to fall. When you're already alone and miserable, adding another bit of misery feels almost routine. When you're elevated by love and togetherness and care, toppling down to being miserable is a much bigger cliff. Also, being alone means there's very little to lose. When there's everything to lose, it's worse."
Macaque is something of an expert in this.
"But I'm here. No matter how miserable you are, I'll always be here."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
"I know." He does, but it still hurts to think about.
no subject
no subject
no subject
A light thud of his fist against his chest. "I am happier...just misery feels more miserable when its here."
no subject
Macaque is something of an expert in this.
"But I'm here. No matter how miserable you are, I'll always be here."