Entry tags:
Heart Game: dreamwalker variety
WHO: Macaque and dreamwalker participants
WHAT: Soul explorations
WHEN: any point during Feb 20-24
WHERE: dream world that looks remarkably like Macaque's soul
WARNINGS: will be marked
WHAT: Soul explorations
WHEN: any point during Feb 20-24
WHERE: dream world that looks remarkably like Macaque's soul
WARNINGS: will be marked

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[ six minutes later, korone emerges from her wing cocoon with damp eyes and ruddy cheeks ]
[ chirps, love, dad ]
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[ chirp — ]
[ WORDS. C'MON. ]
I … said it once before, right—? One day … if I get to be a parent —
You're my inspiration, Dad.
[ that said, korone braces herself for More Murder and opens the book on neurodivergence ]
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Picking up the book, she'll find that initially he picked it up because of Donnie and Red Son, but finds that it can apply to a lot of the people in his life: MK, Wukong, Lucifer, and yes Choco herself.
He has a lot of notes on the sections about touch and fidgets and going nonverbal and different ways to show love that might be easier to take during those times. There are notes in the margins with little ideas about how to react when there's stress happening (which it always seems to).
There are a lot of notes in the pages dealing with depression.
The frayed pages and use of multiple different pens indicate that he's read this book multiple times.
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at some point, eventually, she pushes herself up off the floor (when did she sit down? your guess is as good as hers!) just long enough to gently deposit that book and replace it with the one on DID. ]
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He has placed a lot of notes in the margins, less in the sections about causes and more in the sections about treatment -- the parts about how to interact equally well with each alter, that is, he has left the parts about merging alters with large Xs over them, clearly having no interest.
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One! She didn't have the slightest inkling that she could possibly have DID until Donnie pointed it out.
Two! She doesn't remember if she even knew what DID was in the first place, beyond maybe some basic pop culture references, until Donnie pointed it out. Did she know about Wash? Maybe? Probably? Who knows! She sure doesn't!
… Three … it's a subject she's still tentatively circling around. Poking it with a stick when she's feeling brave, squinting through binoculars when she isn't. (The former comes easier when she thinks about it as learning for Wash's sake.)
All in all, DID is a Whole Thing that she has been trying very, very hard to be cool and normal about. ]
[ She pauses over the crossed out sections. ]
... You don't like that?
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[ Korone will just. Sit. With the book, his answer, and her many mixed up feelings. For a minute. ]
... Thank you, Dad. I -- [ Is now really the time? ] Can we talk about it? Later, I mean.
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For now ...
[ There are two more books and a whole lot of heart game to get through. She pushes herself up, and … hmm, bible next. ]
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He seems to be reading this book more to understand what Lucifer went through rather than trying to understand the other side of it.
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Gotta bully Luci-oji more... [ Mumbling as she flicks through, brows furrowed and lips pursed. ]
Would it kill people to be kind? Are they deathly allergic to compassion and common decency? [ GRUMBLE. ] I get it, it's complicated, there's nuance and history and a lot I don't know or understand -
... But we'll help him on his way to a brighter future.
[ On that note, she finally -- and somewhat hesitantly -- moves on to JttW. ]
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Most of the sticky notes are screaming about how awful the great companions are. Toward the back of the book he appears to be trying harder to understand it, though still struggling to see the appeal in people that treated him so terribly.
Apparently the tabs are from more than one reading. It appears that Macaque is on his fourth reading of the text. The tabs from the latest reading are more self-deprecating, lamenting that if he hadn't fallen out with Wukong he would have been there and maybe Wukong wouldn't have had to go through this and trauma bond with these people.
None of it is positive, but it's clear that he's trying to get there.
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So none of this — including Macaque's self-deprecating commentary — is all that surprising. She still takes her time with it though, reading through each and every sticky note. Macaque deserves to be listened to and understood. ... And in her own small way, maybe she kinda gets it. Maybe. ]
You are getting there, Dad. It isn't easy to unpick, let alone rebuild ... but you're here. You're here and you're trying and you're moving forward. I'm proud of you.
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I know you know this already, but I wanna say it again anyways: if you ever wanna talk about any of this ... or anything at all, I'd be happy to listen.
[ Anything else in the desk? ]
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Nothing else in the desk! Just the elevator. No voids this time, just a button to open the doors.
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After taking a minute (longer than strictly necessary, maybe—) to make sure everything in the desk is as she'd found it, she looks to the elevator.
The elevator she knew was there.
The elevator she is going to be completely normal about. It's fine. … And the lack of voids is a huge relief — yeah, she can focus on that. Focus on her dad.
…
She goes over and presses the button. ]
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On the keypad you will see the following:
Level C
And then there is a small keyhole where you're clearly meant to fill in order to proceed any lower than Level C. It is different than the one that fit the staff before, looking more like an actual key goes in there.
After C is:
Level S
Level S1
Level U
And then another keyhole. And finally:
Level FE
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PTSD can fuck right off. ]
Keyholes, now? … That's probably a good sign? [ Or a neutral one, at least. ]
[ Tucking her wings in tight behind herself, Korone hits the button for level C. ]
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"Hi, babygirl. Come sit down for a minute."
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Dad-!
[ He doesn't have to ask twice; she makes a beeline straight for him. ]
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