[ Macaque ponders this for a moment and sends along three days/in the upcoming week, either after work or on an afternoon where she doesn't work, not on days when she has dates because that's just Rude. ]
How about that? If it's after work then you'll know how many spells you have left. We won't spend them all unless you want to, not yet. How long we work is up to you.
I'll probably take us out into a less populated area of the segments, I can get there instantly. That way we won't have to worry about bystanders or busybodies.
(`･ω･´)ゞ That works! I always leave one emergency cast Just In Case but I'm willing to make an exception if you want to see the impact it has & I'm happy to go for a few hours if you're up for it! [ If she gets focused she will go and go and go until she falls over, which takes way, way longer than one might think. It's all the supersoldier training montages.
Please don't let her keep you out there for 6 hours, Mac. ]
Unless Donnie comes with, let me know the locations in advance so I can drop a pin for him. He trusts you with me but he still likes knowing
We'll leave your last cast for now, it's only prudent to have it for emergencies. If Red Son and I get to the point where we need to see the result of the final cast, then we'll do that in a controlled environment. In the meantime we'll go as long as there's time and you have endurance.
I'll text him when we pick a place, he can either join us or just know where it is, whatever you both want. I can pick them in advance if it helps.
[ He might literally train her to exhaustion once, but then he'll make it clear that's a No and she needs to stop before she crashes. Knowing your limits is Important! ]
There's a slight delay, a couple of minutes, while Korone thinks something through. ]
Back at the temple, I had a set of memory marbles They let you show someone else a memory from your perspective without any risk (not counting potential psychological trauma) Would something like that be helpful?
[ She would not in a million years be offering this if it wasn't for one simple fact: both Red Son and Macaque are going well out of their way to help someone they have zero obligation towards. If there's anything she can do to make it easier, she should ]
[ Hey if he's gonna go all out testing your shield then he's gonna go all out, that means the big boy. ]
All information would be helpful.
But if you're not comfortable, then we don't have to.
...Actually, we have a scroll of memories that we could use if you don't want to use the marbles. It's more of a third person perspective, I'm not sure how that would be in comparison.
[ It's probably a good thing that they're discussing this via text, because whew, the reminder that she's able to put her comfort first hit hard. ]
While I'm never fully comfortable with this kind of thing, there are times where it's worth it. It feels like this could be one of them. And APPARENTLY some of my teammates poured positivity paint in a box symbolising my memory&empathy trauma? So (👉ﾟヮﾟ)👉 Might as well make the best of it!
The marbles are a decent option for me because I can put in as much or as little as I want, and they're one way
I could see pros and cons to either perspective 🤔 1st person you get an understanding of what it feels like to be the one using it, but then you've got to contend with everything else going on at the same time 3rd person you get to see what it looks like from the outside, unless you or Red Son-san have spells that'll let you dig deeper
You being able to not be as involved in things via the marbles sounds like a plus. Especially since it sounds like there are things you'd rather not relive. [ Understandably. ]
Once you go into the scroll, it downloads your memories. Then whoever is in there proceeds through them and can observe and interact with the memories. It can't change anything about the past, but as a function of being there you can walk up and deck someone if you wanted to. For example.
We'd need you to go in the scroll with us initially in order for it to get your memories. After that I think we could navigate your memories without you being present, if you want. I'm not sure whether it's less comfortable to be there and witness it all or let us go through without you, that'd be your call. But if you're there then you're there. It's like walking through real life, except it's the past.
Getting out is easy, we just take you out. [ Now. And if you know the proper magic. ] With someone from my world, the memories are all stored in the scroll no matter what. I'm not sure if they'd keep yours stored for the long term or not, but Red Son keeps the scroll under magical and literal lock and key. So it wouldn't be accessible unless he lets them at it, and no one would be touching your memories unless you give permission or it was a very severe emergency.
It presents what happened, objectively. I don't know about degraded memories, but I had a few slightly misremembered things get corrected when I saw the memories inside the scroll.
[ ... it would be nice if it COULD let her see those memories properly again. she's lost the names and faces of so many of her friends. but ...
but. ]
If you and Red Son-san think it has a strong chance of helping ... I think I'm open to trying * with the understanding that I don't have to do anything if I don't want to.
Of course. I wouldn't make you do anything you didn't want to, if things get rough we can stop anytime.
And if for some reason Red Son lost his mind and tried to push you, I'll kick his ass. How's that? [ This is thrown in as a joke, he doesn't think Red would do anything of the like. ]
it's kinda funny how confused he gets "why are you like this, pigeon girl" "well MAYBE it's because you've been so busy being kind to me literally every time we've interacted" (‾◡◝)
let me know what kinds of things you'd want to see and i'll see what i can come up with the day they switched the pendants from an outside power source to us might be a good one?
He gets easily confused by people with social skills.
That seems promising as a lead for information. You probably have a good sense of what's important, since those would be things that struck a big nerve. Anything that involves the pendant, but other things leave their impact on the soul.
--Sucks that it has to be the bad ones that will give us what we might need. The best we can do is give you as much control as possible over how to walk through this.
(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) so i've noticed he's very sweet in his own way though.
[ red son is cute and she WILL say it ]
has red son-san talked to you about the soul scan he did?
it's like i said: i'm willing to share the bad stuff if it's for a good reason and "the best you can do" is huge to me, macaque-san. i really can't emphasise that enough. breaking the limiter will mean that i can do more to help people. i'll be able to keep myself safer, so the people who care about me won't have to worry so much. and it'll be one more link to my least favorite person in the multiverse broken for good. hopefully the LAST one.
It gave me an idea. We weren't sure whether you'd be comfortable with it or not, it's entirely up to you, but it could give us more of a differentiation of what parts of your soul are the pendant vs. which are the objectives/taboos or other things.
I have the ability to absorb other people's magic. Before you get nervous, it's a long cast and I can do it partially, which would not transfer the abilities in any way either of us would feel but would give my soul a tint from your pendant. If I cancel the spell with it incomplete, nothing happens at all.
If Red Son scans my soul before I do this partial transfer, and then again once I've got enough portion of the spell complete, he'll be able to see faint magical imprints of your magic on my soul and he'll know precisely what it is, which will help him interpret your scans. And then I'd cancel my spell and there'd be no transfer. Nothing would happen.
We know that you might not be comfortable with this for a variety of reasons. You'd be trusting me with your magic and your soul, that's a lot to ask. So it's fine if you don't want to, or you need to think about it.
...I don't usually admit to people that I can do this. [ Since it could change the way someone sees him and it shows his hand in a way he typically wouldn't. He's adding this admission at the end to hopefully show that he's not asking her to put herself out there in this very personal way without him doing a bit of the same. ]
thank you for being willing to share that with me, and trusting me.
[ She can understand why he'd prefer to keep that one a secret. Holy shit. That's kind of a lot. But it's still Macaque. A power being potentially terrifying doesn't mean the person who wields it is; she knows that. ]
i'm trying to imagine how it'd work logistically. it sounds a little like a remote file transfer between computers? where the receiving computer can see the data coming over but can't do anything with it until it completes and it's not gone from the original computer until it completes either ?
I'm new to computers, but the analogy is correct. The powers would show up on my soul scan but I wouldn't be able to use them, and they wouldn't be away from you.
and my soul wouldn't go anywhere it's not supposed to, or otherwise be affected
[ just. reiterating that to herself, both outloud and in text. ]
are both you and red son-san 100% confident that there's no risk to YOU? because if any part of any of this hurts either of you i swear to god i'll kick all three of our asses
No, I can't steal souls. Only powers. Yours being so closely tied to your soul is the only reason it would even show up on my soul scan.
We're not fully confident that it won't hurt me at all, no. I don't think it would, but claiming 100% would be lying.
Risk to him is something we're not sure of. He's not used to doing so many scans in quick succession. It could mean his mind goes a little off and I'd need to talk him back or knock him out. He could tell you more specifically about it if you want to ask.
There's no scenario where there's 0% risk to us, if I'm perfectly honest. Trying to fix your problem is going to mean interacting with your powers and soul on some level.
i get that nothing is without risk, and some things are inherently more risky than others
[ and some things are inherently selfish, like asking for help with something that carries many, many of those inherent risks!! she's asked herself this a few times since red son first broached the subject, but once again, with feeling: what the FUCK is she doing?! ]
[ there's some stopping and starting for ... a good while, as she goes back and forth and round and round, arguing with herself ]
you wouldn't have offered any of this if you didn't genuinely want to help me
No. Neither of us would. What was done to you is unfair. We can't fix everything about that, but this one thing we perhaps might be able to change. And we'd like to try.
But this is your magic, your soul, and your conscience if some of the unlikely scenarios do come to pass. It's up to us to offer our help, and up to you whether to accept it.
If you'd rather things stay as they are, then I won't ask about it again and we'll train given your existing parameters.
[ Korone takes a moment to sit with that. Both of them ... all it took was one look to decide they couldn't let this slide in silence. Even though neither of them have any reason to care about her, really, and they'd be saving themselves a lot of time, trouble, and potential hurt by simply ... not.
Neither of them would have offered if they hadn't meant it. They wouldn't. They're too - straightforward? No, that's not the right word. Honest, maybe? ... Upfront. Honorable, in their own ways, and with far more kindness in their hearts than they'd maybe want to admit. ]
i hate the idea of either of you getting hurt for my sake and it feels so selfish, even though i know logically, reasonably, that it's okay to need help. to want help. and that i'm not pushing you into doing anything you don't want to; i couldn't and i wouldn't. same way you're not pushing me.
at the same time now that i know it might be possible ... i do want it. the pendant is one of the only ways i have to protect people. it's one of the only things that helps ME feel safe. the idea of being able to use it, without an axe over my head? the idea of it being fully MINE? i can't tell you how huge that feels.
i think i need to sit with it for a day or two. if i say one way or another now i'm going to second-guess myself into a spiral, and that's not helpful to anyone.
Good girl. This is a big decision, taking a few days to think about it is wise and the right choice. And if you need longer, take it. We're not going anywhere. [ Presumably. They might literally vanish, any of them might, but he's speaking in terms of them changing their minds about helping her, that's the part that's not going anywhere. ]
In the meantime we can work on being able to do the most with what you've got.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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How about that? If it's after work then you'll know how many spells you have left. We won't spend them all unless you want to, not yet. How long we work is up to you.
I'll probably take us out into a less populated area of the segments, I can get there instantly. That way we won't have to worry about bystanders or busybodies.
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(`･ω･´)ゞ
That works!
I always leave one emergency cast Just In Case but I'm willing to make an exception if you want to see the impact it has
& I'm happy to go for a few hours if you're up for it! [ If she gets focused she will go and go and go until she falls over, which takes way, way longer than one might think. It's all the supersoldier training montages.
Please don't let her keep you out there for 6 hours, Mac. ]
Unless Donnie comes with, let me know the locations in advance so I can drop a pin for him.
He trusts you with me but he still likes knowing
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I'll text him when we pick a place, he can either join us or just know where it is, whatever you both want. I can pick them in advance if it helps.
[ He might literally train her to exhaustion once, but then he'll make it clear that's a No and she needs to stop before she crashes. Knowing your limits is Important! ]
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There's a slight delay, a couple of minutes, while Korone thinks something through. ]
Back at the temple, I had a set of memory marbles
They let you show someone else a memory from your perspective without any risk (not counting potential psychological trauma)
Would something like that be helpful?
[ She would not in a million years be offering this if it wasn't for one simple fact: both Red Son and Macaque are going well out of their way to help someone they have zero obligation towards. If there's anything she can do to make it easier, she should ]
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All information would be helpful.
But if you're not comfortable, then we don't have to.
...Actually, we have a scroll of memories that we could use if you don't want to use the marbles. It's more of a third person perspective, I'm not sure how that would be in comparison.
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While I'm never fully comfortable with this kind of thing, there are times where it's worth it. It feels like this could be one of them.
And APPARENTLY some of my teammates poured positivity paint in a box symbolising my memory&empathy trauma?
So
(👉ﾟヮﾟ)👉
Might as well make the best of it!
The marbles are a decent option for me because I can put in as much or as little as I want, and they're one way
I could see pros and cons to either perspective 🤔
1st person you get an understanding of what it feels like to be the one using it, but then you've got to contend with everything else going on at the same time
3rd person you get to see what it looks like from the outside, unless you or Red Son-san have spells that'll let you dig deeper
How does the memory scroll work?
no subject
Once you go into the scroll, it downloads your memories. Then whoever is in there proceeds through them and can observe and interact with the memories. It can't change anything about the past, but as a function of being there you can walk up and deck someone if you wanted to. For example.
We'd need you to go in the scroll with us initially in order for it to get your memories. After that I think we could navigate your memories without you being present, if you want. I'm not sure whether it's less comfortable to be there and witness it all or let us go through without you, that'd be your call. But if you're there then you're there. It's like walking through real life, except it's the past.
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so
SO many things she doesn't want to relive, Macaque. So many. ]
[ ... downloads ... ]
[ hm. excuse her, she needs to scream into a pillow for a minute. or two. or ... okay, it's five. she's back in five minutes. ]
What happens to the memories once they're in the scroll? Can they be deleted?
How easy is it to get out once you're in?
And does it present the memories exactly as they were, or
if the person's memory is degraded in places
would that be reflected too?
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It presents what happened, objectively. I don't know about degraded memories, but I had a few slightly misremembered things get corrected when I saw the memories inside the scroll.
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[ ... it would be nice if it COULD let her see those memories properly again. she's lost the names and faces of so many of her friends. but ...
but. ]
If you and Red Son-san think it has a strong chance of helping
... I think I'm open to trying
* with the understanding that I don't have to do anything if I don't want to.
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And if for some reason Red Son lost his mind and tried to push you, I'll kick his ass. How's that? [ This is thrown in as a joke, he doesn't think Red would do anything of the like. ]
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and i trust that you wouldn't either.
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"why are you like this, pigeon girl"
"well MAYBE it's because you've been so busy being kind to me literally every time we've interacted"
(‾◡◝)
let me know what kinds of things you'd want to see and i'll see what i can come up with
the day they switched the pendants from an outside power source to us might be a good one?
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That seems promising as a lead for information. You probably have a good sense of what's important, since those would be things that struck a big nerve. Anything that involves the pendant, but other things leave their impact on the soul.
--Sucks that it has to be the bad ones that will give us what we might need. The best we can do is give you as much control as possible over how to walk through this.
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he's very sweet in his own way though.
[ red son is cute and she WILL say it ]
has red son-san talked to you about the soul scan he did?
it's like i said: i'm willing to share the bad stuff if it's for a good reason
and "the best you can do" is huge to me, macaque-san. i really can't emphasise that enough.
breaking the limiter will mean that i can do more to help people. i'll be able to keep myself safer, so the people who care about me won't have to worry so much.
and it'll be one more link to my least favorite person in the multiverse broken for good. hopefully the LAST one.
no subject
It gave me an idea. We weren't sure whether you'd be comfortable with it or not, it's entirely up to you, but it could give us more of a differentiation of what parts of your soul are the pendant vs. which are the objectives/taboos or other things.
I have the ability to absorb other people's magic. Before you get nervous, it's a long cast and I can do it partially, which would not transfer the abilities in any way either of us would feel but would give my soul a tint from your pendant. If I cancel the spell with it incomplete, nothing happens at all.
If Red Son scans my soul before I do this partial transfer, and then again once I've got enough portion of the spell complete, he'll be able to see faint magical imprints of your magic on my soul and he'll know precisely what it is, which will help him interpret your scans. And then I'd cancel my spell and there'd be no transfer. Nothing would happen.
We know that you might not be comfortable with this for a variety of reasons. You'd be trusting me with your magic and your soul, that's a lot to ask. So it's fine if you don't want to, or you need to think about it.
...I don't usually admit to people that I can do this. [ Since it could change the way someone sees him and it shows his hand in a way he typically wouldn't. He's adding this admission at the end to hopefully show that he's not asking her to put herself out there in this very personal way without him doing a bit of the same. ]
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[ O... Oh. ]
thank you for being willing to share that with me, and trusting me.
[ She can understand why he'd prefer to keep that one a secret. Holy shit. That's kind of a lot. But it's still Macaque. A power being potentially terrifying doesn't mean the person who wields it is; she knows that. ]
i'm trying to imagine how it'd work
logistically.
it sounds a little like a remote file transfer between computers? where the receiving computer can see the data coming over but can't do anything with it until it completes
and it's not gone from the original computer until it completes either
?
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I'm new to computers, but the analogy is correct. The powers would show up on my soul scan but I wouldn't be able to use them, and they wouldn't be away from you.
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[ just. reiterating that to herself, both outloud and in text. ]
are both you and red son-san 100% confident that there's no risk to YOU?
because if any part of any of this hurts either of you i swear to god i'll kick all three of our asses
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We're not fully confident that it won't hurt me at all, no. I don't think it would, but claiming 100% would be lying.
Risk to him is something we're not sure of. He's not used to doing so many scans in quick succession. It could mean his mind goes a little off and I'd need to talk him back or knock him out. He could tell you more specifically about it if you want to ask.
There's no scenario where there's 0% risk to us, if I'm perfectly honest. Trying to fix your problem is going to mean interacting with your powers and soul on some level.
no subject
i get that
nothing is without risk, and some things are inherently more risky than others
[ and some things are inherently selfish, like asking for help with something that carries many, many of those inherent risks!! she's asked herself this a few times since red son first broached the subject, but once again, with feeling: what the FUCK is she doing?! ]
[ there's some stopping and starting for ... a good while, as she goes back and forth and round and round, arguing with herself ]
you wouldn't have offered any of this if you didn't genuinely want to help me
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No. Neither of us would. What was done to you is unfair. We can't fix everything about that, but this one thing we perhaps might be able to change. And we'd like to try.
But this is your magic, your soul, and your conscience if some of the unlikely scenarios do come to pass. It's up to us to offer our help, and up to you whether to accept it.
If you'd rather things stay as they are, then I won't ask about it again and we'll train given your existing parameters.
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[ Korone takes a moment to sit with that. Both of them ... all it took was one look to decide they couldn't let this slide in silence. Even though neither of them have any reason to care about her, really, and they'd be saving themselves a lot of time, trouble, and potential hurt by simply ... not.
Neither of them would have offered if they hadn't meant it. They wouldn't. They're too - straightforward? No, that's not the right word. Honest, maybe? ... Upfront. Honorable, in their own ways, and with far more kindness in their hearts than they'd maybe want to admit. ]
i hate the idea of either of you getting hurt for my sake
and it feels so selfish, even though i know logically, reasonably, that it's okay to need help. to want help. and that i'm not pushing you into doing anything you don't want to; i couldn't and i wouldn't.
same way you're not pushing me.
at the same time
now that i know it might be possible ...
i do want it. the pendant is one of the only ways i have to protect people. it's one of the only things that helps ME feel safe. the idea of being able to use it, without an axe over my head? the idea of it being fully MINE? i can't tell you how huge that feels.
i think i need to sit with it for a day or two. if i say one way or another now i'm going to second-guess myself into a spiral, and that's not helpful to anyone.
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Good girl. This is a big decision, taking a few days to think about it is wise and the right choice. And if you need longer, take it. We're not going anywhere. [ Presumably. They might literally vanish, any of them might, but he's speaking in terms of them changing their minds about helping her, that's the part that's not going anywhere. ]
In the meantime we can work on being able to do the most with what you've got.
1/2
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