And not being terrible was rather my point. Its a forcible slowing of his thoughts. Sometimes its about using the things that take time to make time in the brain. Half the reason I got good at skateboarding is because I needed to force my brain to reset instead of always being in project mode.
If it doesn't work, then drawing his thoughts is also an option, but that risks it being an abstraction. Writing in all the ways he's telling himself he's horrible takes a while to put into words, but a drawing can convey a lot of those very simply.
Most likely. Eve and I were there.
Good. He didn't. He may need constant reminders. His brain isn't a thing to be fixed, but its problems need adjustments made so they do not go off the rails again. Its likely impossible to remove all his negative thoughts. What matters is he doesn't let those thoughts make big decisions for him.
If you can get him to write consistently, by all means. I just know how he avoids things when they're uncomfortable, and asking him to write about his spirals is doubly so.
His drawings are never abstract that I've seen, if it helps. He draws very literally. Much about the way he thinks is concrete and his artwork is the same.
I don't want to "fix" him, Donnie. I love him as he is, flaws and all. What I've been focusing on with him isn't changing him, it's challenging the assumptions that make him spiral and stopping to think instead of letting things snowball dangerously. Assumptions about how others see him, primarily. To get him to talk to us instead of assume the worst about what we say and use it to hurt himself, which he then reacts to in ways that harm others too. What happened with Choco is exactly that pattern.
I'm a terrible person can just be himself, but looking more and more villainous. Even if his picture isn't abstract, the emotions in it can be.
I've heard Mikey talking about art a lot.
I did call him out on that. I've unfortunately had some past experiences with this mindset. Its disheartening how often people bring on the problems they're so terrified of.
[ Macaque lets the writing versus art thing drop. Fine, if Donnie can get it to happen, more power to him. ]
I'm no one to judge, I've done it myself. But however much I don't judge MK despite being angry with him, I know where this road ends. Whether I judge him or not, if he keeps it up, especially towards you and Choco, I won't be able to keep him in my life. I explained that to him. He does want to change this about himself, so I hope he can. With help.
If you see me shutting down while we work on this, however minimally, definitely say something. I know my own habits too well to overlook that it will probably happen.
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Re: Post talk with MK
If it doesn't work, then drawing his thoughts is also an option, but that risks it being an abstraction. Writing in all the ways he's telling himself he's horrible takes a while to put into words, but a drawing can convey a lot of those very simply.
Most likely. Eve and I were there.
Good. He didn't. He may need constant reminders. His brain isn't a thing to be fixed, but its problems need adjustments made so they do not go off the rails again. Its likely impossible to remove all his negative thoughts. What matters is he doesn't let those thoughts make big decisions for him.
Re: Post talk with MK
His drawings are never abstract that I've seen, if it helps. He draws very literally. Much about the way he thinks is concrete and his artwork is the same.
I don't want to "fix" him, Donnie. I love him as he is, flaws and all. What I've been focusing on with him isn't changing him, it's challenging the assumptions that make him spiral and stopping to think instead of letting things snowball dangerously. Assumptions about how others see him, primarily. To get him to talk to us instead of assume the worst about what we say and use it to hurt himself, which he then reacts to in ways that harm others too. What happened with Choco is exactly that pattern.
Re: Post talk with MK
I'm a terrible person can just be himself, but looking more and more villainous. Even if his picture isn't abstract, the emotions in it can be.
I've heard Mikey talking about art a lot.
I did call him out on that. I've unfortunately had some past experiences with this mindset. Its disheartening how often people bring on the problems they're so terrified of.
Re: Post talk with MK
I'm no one to judge, I've done it myself. But however much I don't judge MK despite being angry with him, I know where this road ends. Whether I judge him or not, if he keeps it up, especially towards you and Choco, I won't be able to keep him in my life. I explained that to him. He does want to change this about himself, so I hope he can. With help.
Re: Post talk with MK
Its an absolute nightmare to figure out how to deal with your brain attacking you with help. I can only imagine how awful it would be without it.
Probably really bad.
It would honestly explain a lot.
Re: Post talk with MK
It is really bad.
Re: Post talk with MK
Re: Post talk with MK
If you see me shutting down while we work on this, however minimally, definitely say something. I know my own habits too well to overlook that it will probably happen.
Re: Post talk with MK
Are you okay?
Re: Post talk with MK
I'm handling it for now, but that could change.
Re: Post talk with MK
Re: Post talk with MK
I have a long history of putting myself aside for the people I love, what they need. It's a habit I'd like to break.
Re: Post talk with MK
Sometimes I lose track of days, but this way I can track it properly.
Re: Post talk with MK
I find it harder to say no to anything you ask of me, or Choco, than others, so that will be to your advantage in keeping me talking.
Re: Post talk with MK
There is also the Ninpo. I'm still working on being able to track, but I have been getting better at communicating.