Mm. I was just... in the middle. Of you and Lott. I was trying to get him to stop not just this time but for good, so I was trying to balance that and not being too -- protective of you, I guess. Because I knew that would make matters worse, make him fight harder.
...MK, I never want to be apart from you. I never want that, but I'm so used to being alone. Sometimes I fall back into that habit. I'm trying to fight it, but so much has happened, and if I were a cup I'd be a drop from overflowing. The best I can do, is if I need space I'll tell you so. I won't just vanish. We'll talk about it when we're ready to, but I will always give you that. I know you need it, and so do I.
There's no way to tell how what you said in the heart game affected me, that happened in a deep place that was already angry. It's going to take time to untangle... but I'm trying to. Whether I can get all that straight isn't your fault, just like whether you let your less pleasant instincts take over isn't mine. Can we make a deal on that?
I know you were. And being in the middle is really hard. I'm so glad you were though. I really really am.
I just wanted to let you know, you can tell me. Tell me you need space. And I'll be okay. No matter how much space or time you need. I will be okay. I promise you I will be okay.
I can agree to that deal. I just felt I should say I was sorry. And say I didn't mean it. And I hope, even if it's small, it an help you untangle it.
Okay. I don't want space right now. I know you need some of it for your own reasons and that's -- I get it. I want you to have the time you need too.
--Are you sure that you didn't mean it? I could understand if in that moment you meant it, we were struggling so much right before the game. And there's a difference between me needing space and me pushing you away. One is okay, one isn't.
Actually I don't need space. Not really. If you wanted to sit together. Listen to music? That would be nice.
No. I didn't mean it. Not...not like that. It is not your fault if you need space and if you need to give me a small nudge when you need space. Or if...if I ever mess up so bad you can't...be around me.
You can push and I will not become that thing. You can ask. You can yell. You can hold me or not yell or whatever you need to do is what I'm trying to say and saying it badly. Whatever you need, close, far, here or there, whenever, however.
What you do will not turn me into a monster. You don't have to be afraid of that. I don't want you to be afraid of that.
And what I want, right now, is for Korone to get out of that jar, go home, so you can give her lots of hugs and affection and I hope she comes out of it as okay as she can and your family gets to be complete again.
I want to be with you too. Music is good, or more of those action movies, whatever. Just being in the same space makes me happy. I don't need to touch you to be happy together with you. Sex happened a lot but that was a side benefit, not the reason I love you.
Mm, okay. You said that in a very deep place inside me, so it'll take time to really sink in, but I believe you.
Action movies. Maybe some musicals too? So we get music and movies. Yeah. Same, honestly. I love you for you. Just being with you. We'll get back to touching. Someday.
You're welcome, my Warrior. Portal over whenever you want or need to.
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Re: Voice - June 8th
...MK, I never want to be apart from you. I never want that, but I'm so used to being alone. Sometimes I fall back into that habit. I'm trying to fight it, but so much has happened, and if I were a cup I'd be a drop from overflowing. The best I can do, is if I need space I'll tell you so. I won't just vanish. We'll talk about it when we're ready to, but I will always give you that. I know you need it, and so do I.
There's no way to tell how what you said in the heart game affected me, that happened in a deep place that was already angry. It's going to take time to untangle... but I'm trying to. Whether I can get all that straight isn't your fault, just like whether you let your less pleasant instincts take over isn't mine. Can we make a deal on that?
Re: Voice - June 8th
I just wanted to let you know, you can tell me. Tell me you need space. And I'll be okay. No matter how much space or time you need. I will be okay. I promise you I will be okay.
I can agree to that deal. I just felt I should say I was sorry. And say I didn't mean it. And I hope, even if it's small, it an help you untangle it.
And I love you and I always will.
Re: Voice - June 8th
--Are you sure that you didn't mean it? I could understand if in that moment you meant it, we were struggling so much right before the game. And there's a difference between me needing space and me pushing you away. One is okay, one isn't.
Same here, I love you too.
Re: Voice - June 8th
No. I didn't mean it. Not...not like that. It is not your fault if you need space and if you need to give me a small nudge when you need space. Or if...if I ever mess up so bad you can't...be around me.
You can push and I will not become that thing. You can ask. You can yell. You can hold me or not yell or whatever you need to do is what I'm trying to say and saying it badly. Whatever you need, close, far, here or there, whenever, however.
What you do will not turn me into a monster. You don't have to be afraid of that. I don't want you to be afraid of that.
And what I want, right now, is for Korone to get out of that jar, go home, so you can give her lots of hugs and affection and I hope she comes out of it as okay as she can and your family gets to be complete again.
Re: Voice - June 8th
Mm, okay. You said that in a very deep place inside me, so it'll take time to really sink in, but I believe you.
--Yeah. I hope for that too. Thanks, kiddo.
Re: Voice - June 8th
You're welcome, my Warrior. Portal over whenever you want or need to.
Re: Voice - June 8th
Soon, I promise.
Re: Voice - June 8th
Soon, okay. I'll let you go.
[He chirps into the phone; love and patience.
Re: Voice - June 8th
[ He chirps back: Love, care, lasting promise. ]