castaside | [Heart Game] From the ashes we can build

[Yep]

[Yep, he knew that was going to hit hard and fuck, there was tears and maybe he is just going to sit down for like]

[A minute]

[He just needs to calm down.]

[He knew it would be a lot. And he knows. He knows its going to hit Macaque SO HARD when he can feel again, and he hates that he couldn't get the nerve to try and do the job himself so Macaque didn't have to.]

[But the charm had been too much of his will. It had taken everything to do it, but he had to, to keep him alive. To keep him safe. He knows he'd do it again.]

[Its why he had reached out so hard then for help.]

The shadow curls around you and you feel Macaque's presence trying to comfort you. He thanks you for what you did, but also, he wishes you hadn't needed to.

And he'd do the same for you in a second, if necessary.

[That is both the sweetest and most heart wrenching thing right now.]

[Just gonna grab the sprocket, just]

[Get away from trauma feelings.]

You are Macaque and you are listening to Red Son explain engines down in his workshop. He brought out diagrams and blueprints and everything, it's pretty impressive to watch him go.

You've read some on the subject. (Maybe some in preparation for this, because you hate nothing more than doing a thing badly.) You ask reasonably intelligent questions, and he seems pleased about that.

He's frankly adorable like this, all aflutter with intellectual excitement. You get the impression that, if his parents had allowed it, Red Son would have been delighted to tinker in his workshop on projects with goals much less grand than world domination. Maybe you'll talk to your brother about that, if he continues to need convincing.

You can see yourself visiting his workshop back home, listening to him talk about his projects for hours. You'll be much better versed in these matters by then, of course. Partially from reading, partially because you'd be delighted for this little lecture to become a regular thing.

[WELL]

[That is helping pull from the trauma feelings, because that just hits like a truck.]

[The thing he's most insecure about is his love of tinkering as something he can SHARE. It never really feels worthy or enough or something that really interests people. Seeing that Macaque...ISN'T just humoring him, that he truly likes to see Red Son go off, that he wants to learn-]

[That he wants to convince his parents to maybe let him pursue it as more than a little hobby or a tool for their uses.]

[He lets his head thud against the desk, breathing heavily, trying to calm down from the whiplash, hand sometimes moving up to wipe away his tears.]

More shadow hugs for you, then. The shadow almost seems like it's stroking Red's hair, though that might be the breeze.

He means it, though. He likes watching Red work, listening to him talk about it. It's pleasant. Maybe one day Macaque will know enough to be of some help, but for now he's content to observe and appreciate.

[He will lean into that stroking. Try to breathe.]

[He should push through. Get all the emotions to hit at once. Reaching forward for another item and grabbing the peacock mask.]

You are Macaque, and you've been hanging onto this peacock mask for a few weeks, now. At first it was just a pretty thing that appealed to your sense of the dramatic, but then the full moon happened and you let Red Son cry on your shoulder (over something that objectively was not his fault and absolutely ticked you off) and you started rethinking your encounter after the masque, just slightly.

You have physical chemistry, no doubt about that. Red Son was a pleasant distraction indeed, and you can only assume by his reaction that he'd say the same. Sometimes you catch yourself thinking about those sounds he made and it makes you smile. Not smirk, at least not fully -- smile.

You weren't really considering much beyond that, and then you spent hours talking in Weremonkey's little room while MK failed to appear and something just clicked. Never has anyone understood you in quite those ways before. Never have you felt so comfortable expressing what you think and feel.

You haven't had friends in a long time, maybe it's just that? But then, you've still got that mask, and you don't see yourself getting rid of it anytime soon.

It does make you smile, after all.

Edited 2024-03-06 03:20 (UTC)

[THE SOFTNESS.]

[The plot twist, was his softness there that long? Did he just not notice through the WALL?]

[It hurts, how much that makes him hope. That desperate want that his feelings for him wouldn't change when he loved Wukong again. That maybe some spark of it really could survive the all consuming sun that is the Monkey King.]

[Or is the fondness just friendship? Still valuable all the same, but a different sort-]

[He's gonna have so many feelings and a rush of emotions and he's! Just! Gonna grab the white box!!!]

You are Macaque, and you're in love.

Considering exactly when this happened is pure folly, but that hasn't stopped you. Somehow it feels important to know. He might ask someday, and you'll want to have a decent answer ready. These things matter, after all.

It was after you made the choker that went in the little, white box that you can't seem to stop touching, surely. Wasn't it? You hadn't been thinking of that at the time -- had you? Although during those long hours plucking thin strands of shadow out of your portals and weaving it, you found yourself anticipating the reaction, whether he cared for you enough to accept a gift that would go around his neck. Whether the trust extended that far.

You were prepared for it not to. Hedging your bets. Unnecessarily, as it turned out.

It was probably before the promises you made, drunk in the forest. You'd never have made them otherwise, even if at the time you hadn't yet been thinking it explicitly. Were those two events really only days apart? Perhaps you were more primed for it by then than you assumed.

But you can't say the words yet. You just can't. Your heart game is two days away, and until then there will always be reason for him to doubt, and then forevermore the first time you'll have said the words will be a time he couldn't be sure whether you meant it. That won't do at all. He deserves so much better than that.

So you'll tell him when the heart is over. With any luck, he'll be happy enough to forgive you for not being able to pin down the timeline.

[WHY CAN'T HE JUST BURY HIMSELF IN THE GROUND.]

[Nope, there are tears, and his heart aches and he wants to believe. He wants to believe and keep this feeling, and he's holding the box close to his chest. Taking shuddering breathes and wiping at his eyes.]

[The amount of trust he had, how anxious he had been the choker being put around his neck, and then how it had felt settled around his neck after they had talked and he had relaxed around him. He may not be able to wear the choker all the time without the panic creeping in, when when Macaque was there, he had been able to feel safe when he had time to wind down.]

[Then in the forest when all he had wanted to do was reassure him. To make sure he never felt alone again. Never abandoned again.]

You're unfair. I can't even kiss you right now. [Voice watery and thick.]

The shadow makes a hand gesture like he's carrying something, and on his hand a separate wisp of shadow forms a little ball with the Demon Bull Family symbol on it. Hint, hint.

[He's rubbing at his eyes and...a ball?]

[He looks at the desk, scanning it, before finally opening the drawer and]

[What's this?]

[He picks up the stress ball in confusion. He...squeezes?]

When Red Son squeezes the stress ball, two things happen. The counter clicks down to "5". And Red Son's shadow on the desk and floor shifts form, its silhouette forming Macaque's familiar one. Glowing eyes blink open, and Macaque's shadow flashes a small, heartfelt purple smile as it stretches off the desk and turns from two dimensional into three, hovering before Red Son like a ghost.

Macaque extends his hands in the air, palm out, for Red Son to grab.

[Oh.]

[This.]

[This is different.]

[But its not like he's touched the shadow clones and this one is...somewhere in the middle, perhaps? It gets a little weirder in his soul.]

[But he's going to take that hand though.]

Macaque's shadow-hand feels perfectly solid. He can't do this for long, hence why there's a limit on charges, so he right away leans forward to press his forehead against Red Son's.

Red Son will feel that slight, grounding adrenaline rush like they practiced. Nothing spicy, just making him feel very in his body.

Oh.

There's the rush of adrenaline, the intensity of the contact.

He squeezes his hand, and touches his cheek, leaning in to kiss him on the lips. Its a closed mouth kiss, but still firm and trying to convey his hope. His wish that this won't be the last.

Macaque's shadow kisses back, briefly and softly. He can't hold a physical presence for very long, but he keeps it long enough to brush Red Son's nose with his, and smile, and then he sinks back into Red Son's usual shadow silhouette.

Five more charges when you need them.

He lets out a shuddery breath. Shakes out his hands a bit. Another breath.

Calm. Calm. He can do calm.

Collect the other objects. Grabs the hammerspace bag, checks inside and if its empty, he'll put in the stress ball and pick up the keychain.

The hammerspace bag is empty indeed. At least until you put things into it, then it's not empty anymore.

The keychain is a very adorable chibi cow and there is a little button on one side of it.

He tilts his head and hits the button???

After hitting the button, Red Son is surrounded by an opaque, soundproofed chamber which is big enough for two people to lie down inside. You're welcome for the emergency makeouts aid.

This one has infinite charges. Have fun.

....

There is another non-angry fwoosh.

You sure have a fun way of saying thank you!

What, you'd prefer to make out in public?

He is blushing so much. "....note to self, touch everything before making out with Noodle Boy," he muttered, hand over his face. This would have been good to know ten minutes ago!

But. Yes. Good. Good to have.

Into the bag it goes and picks up the phone. Text makes sense, but what happens when he hits shadow portal?

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