castaside | [Heart Game] From the ashes we can build

A firm nod from the shadow.

[ Excuse her while she has fifty thousand feelings about this.

It's heavy.

It's responsibility.

It's trust, and it's love.

Korone bites her lip, slowly curling and uncurling her hands. ]

… You're trusting us with this. [ She speaks half to herself. ] You chose these memories for a reason, and you're trusting us. [ To make this choice. To help him as best they possibly can. She can't help but think of the memory he showed her of her heart. Of her own complicated mess of feelings.

Of Church's heart, and Donnie's. ] ... I —

If we're doing this with your blessing —

I'll do my best for you, Macchan.

"We gotta choose? I...oh. OH. Uh...should we all talk about it? We gotta pick one, right? What does the choice do? Like, does it mean we go somewhere in his soul or we plugging holes? Like, that's a lot of freedom. Like a lot a lot of freedom!"

Excuse MK as he just stared at Korone and her shadow. He'd watched the little demonstration. They got to choose the buttons. Great. Time to go into overthinking big brain mode here.

"What does Macchan mean?" A good and easy distraction? Yes please.

… Both, I think. Plugging these holes lets us go deeper — and I'm guessing he's going to have less control over our options the deeper we go.

[ So. Like. No pressure! ]

He has faith in us for a reason. He — [ Slow breath in, slow breath out. ] He knows exactly what he's asking, and what it means for him and for us. [ It's one HELL of a trust fall. ] We all know him in our own ways. He's a part of our hearts, and we're part of his. If we let that guide us …

We can do this. [ Screaming internally the whole time. ]

Talking through our choices couldn't hurt. Wash-nii and I helped a friend in … kind of a similar way, once, sort of, except we were mostly using our words and our feelings rather than memories. Leaning on and helping each other helped us help him.

[ Oh, but that question though. OH. Heck. She reddens, embarrassed. ]

It's, it's a nickname. -chan is an informal honorific. [ Extremely informal, in this case. ]

"Right. Okay. So what memories are we using. I got some good ones and not so good ones. I...wanna save one of them. Just in case. I think it's really important. Um..." MK hesitated and tried to think. Would it be better to use a bad one first or use a good one? They might have to use them all. Or not?

"Informal honorific? I don't recognize it. I'm Chinese. I wonder if it's like zūnjià or something? What's it mean?" Language differences. At least Korone knew MK was already jealous. How she described it was up to her.

This boi knew three languages; Chinese, English, and Meme. That's all.

Rather than trying to categorise them as good or bad, it might be better to think about the core emotions that carry the memory? What do they say about how he relates to himself, the world, and the people around him?

We probably wanna consider placement, too. I mean, the location — which of these memories are the best fit for holes in the closest room to the surface? He chose these memories specifically, so I don't know if there's necessarily a wrong answer this time … but — still. It's really subjective. Hearts always are.

[ MK COMING IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL ]

Ah, I'm Japanese! So, um, something like -san is polite but not overly so, kinda like mister or miss in English? Sensei means teacher. -chan is …

-chan is cutesy.

Really, really, really cutesy.

I'm being a little shit, open parenthesis positive close parenthesis. [ Affectionate as FUCK in a way she can only be with someone she deeply trusts not to hurt her with or for it. ]

"I guess...we gotta ask what emotions are close to the top then and which are more...buried. Or hidden? Deeper in. Closer to the core? Not sure I'm getting it." MK thought about the memories. He had an idea on one placement now. He didn't like the idea too much though. He needed to just go with his gut. Trust himself. Trust Macaque.

"Oh. So...super information, cutsey, and positive." That was another spike of jealousy. Not too bad this time. MK felt like he was just bad at nicknames. And it felt wrong to try on ones others already had for each other. He'd figure it out. Just sucked everyone else was ahead of him there. Again.

"Keep up the cutsey trolling," He said and gave a thumbs up.

[ She makes a weighing hands-y kind of gesture. ]

We're likely to find more and more memories as we go; things he hasn't consciously chosen. They'd be relevant to that aspect of him, but maybe not to the specific issue we're here to help him fix. Like ... um ... [ She runs a hand through her hair, mussing it up (and briefly knocking her glasses askew in the process.) ] This is just me spit-balling, but ...

[ she grabs her notebook ]

[ grabs a pencil ]

[ STARTS SCRIBBLING ]

Maybe we can think of it kinda like a system of interconnected circuits? Some of the wires have been cut. We're fixing them up to re-establish connectivity, both in the local circuit and across the system as a whole. If there's a cut wire in his guilt circuit, we fix it so he's able to feel that guilt towards you guys and resolve it in a better way - with you. Like that, on and on and on, 'til each section is back online and all his many, many feelings are able flow as they should. [ Which, oh. If she's thinking along the right lines?

Oh, that's going to fucking SUCK. Jesus. It's going to be hard in here, likely for MK and Wukong especially given that it was their connections that got tanked, and it's gonna be hard for him when the feelings hit him like a landslide. ]

High-level rooms are often about ... how you connect with people, and let them in. If you do. The memories he gave us are all about our relationships with him, right? So any of them will do, it just ... might affect what kinda "mode" he's in with each of us when we're out of the heart, and influence where we end up when we take the elevator. Does ... that make sense?

[ ... ]

You should ask Wash-nii about me being a troll sometime. He's got some stories.

MK watched Korone draw and try to describe what was happening. The longer she went on, the further off into the middle distance MK seemed to stare. Until finally he blinks once. Twice. Three times.

"Uh...I got that I should ask Wash about you being a troll. Yeah..."

Sorry, Korone. You lost him.

"Is it like a connect the dots?" He finally asked.

... Pretty much? Yeah. Probably.

Sorry. Um.

[ she draws a little chibi MK. It's adorable.

On the other side of the page, she draws an equally adorable chibi Mac.

Between them, there's a series of li'l dots labelled "emotion". ]

Right now, it's like this. We go through his heart, plugging in memories that correspond with each emotion, until - [ she draws a line connecting each dot ]

[ and then adds li'l sparkles around the chibi mac like he's a lightbulb that got switched on. ]

Ta-daaaa.

Edited 2024-03-07 00:55 (UTC)

Ooooooh! Okay. Now I get it. And to find the rooms with the emotions, we use the buttons to get there.

Then I know which one I'm gonna use. I think it's the right option. Thanks, Kornoe! [Fist bump?]

[ is she 100% sure she got that right on the money? no. is she 100% sure she's really trying her best to understand and do right by macaque? yes. ]

Always happy to help, especially if it means I get to draw. [ FISTBUMP. ]

I love drawing too! Okay. So I need to go talk to Donnie. I just had a big brain boy idea! I need to figure out like where the block is. He should know, right?

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It's heavy, and it's trust, and it's love, and it's sort of crazy. But what is opening your soul to the people you love if not all those things?

The shadow crosses his arms and grabs his opposite shoulders like he's miming giving her a hug. He trusts her, all of them, to put him back together properly.

I'm gonna hug you until you squeak when we get out of here.

[ She is going to hug him with EVERYTHING SHE HAS.

But for now, she tocuhes the model pendant. ]

You are Macaque, and your revenge is a dish best served ice cold.

Half your bones are broken right now, and the other half are barely dragging you around. But it's not that Nyssa's false Wukong almost killed you many times over that has you in a state.

It's two things: that false Wukong made Red Son violate his deepest trauma to save you, and that Nyssa is a heinous bitch who did this to Choco (and Wash, and likely others) in the first place. Those are the reasons that, as you and Red both have their powers back while you watch Nyssa's limiter fall to the real Choco, you decide that you're going to give her what she definitely has coming to her.

Reflections, right? That's her thing. Throwing back at others what they throw at her. And you're a big believer in all things extra and dramatically appropriate. Occupational hazard and all.

You smile as Choco strains to put her shields well and truly down, and gives you all the go ahead to fire at will. While you're a little worried about Choco, she made you proud. Now you'll return the favor.

Everyone gets a turn, although Donnie and Wash go more down the route of psychological torture than a physical strike. Just as well, you can respect it.

And then Red looks at you, leaving it your call as to what should be done with this sorry bitch.

You look at Choco, you look at Red, and you smile.

"Let's rip her soul apart."

You tap the end of your staff on the ground with your good arm, and Red grabs it, and the area goes awash in purple light.

[ IMMEDIATELY SITS DOWN ]

S-shadow hugs?

[ SHADOW HUGS ]

[ she leans right into any affection they're able to share ]

- I'm okay. Just. [ G. Gestures. ]

...

Before all that, I thought I hated her as much as I could possibly hate anyone. But then ...

She did that to all of you. Hurt you. She made Red Son cry, a-and, and you were all, you were only in there 'cuz of me, and - [ buries her face in her arms ] I didn't care what I had to do. To get to h-him, and - and help. Make it stop. So you could be safe again.

[Wait, why is my name being mentioned-]

[Oh]

[Pigeon Girl.]

[He's kind of standing over here awkwardly and then he]

[Comes over.]

[Will sit beside her. Reaching into his bag.]

[He pulls out the stress ball and he'll squeeze it again.]

The stress ball doesn't tick down any, this one's free.

The shadow rises up from the floor, taking the familiar shape of Macaque, with glowing purple eyes and smile. He wraps his arms around his kiddo and he feels solid and real, warm and safe.

[Oh nice. Always good to have more hugs on standby and hopefully this helps Pigeon Girl.]

[ She'd hesitated for a moment when Red Son sat down beside her, before leaning gently, tentatively, towards him.

But then he squeezes a stress ball and then there's Macaque, warm and real and hugging her and — and — oh, okay, okay, this is happening now, okay okay she's okay she's fine she's -

She's …

Choking back sobs, chirping over and over and over and over in every way she knows how: family

They came for her when she needed someone. When she needed help, desperately, and they didn't stop until they knew she'd be safe. Whatever happens from here on out ... they have her love and loyalty for life. They have everything and anything she has to give. ]

Macaque's shadow holds Choco, gently nuzzling at the top of her head. And then he reaches over and snags Red by the arm and pulls him over to hug her too. No polite distance here. They've been through to much for that nonsense.

What lays ahead is unknown, probably ugly. Here and now, they need something soft and beautiful.

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MK CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL

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