castaside | [Heart Game] From the ashes we can build

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heart game

[Heart Game] From the ashes we can build

WHO: Macaque, Red Son, Wukong, Korone, Donnie, Cole, Wash
WHAT: Soul fixin'
WHEN: March 9
WHERE: Red Son's house, Blossomcrown
WARNINGS: will be marked

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[ Ah! ]

It was the latter I was wondering about, mm. I'd know if you'd been in Wash-nii's heart. [ There is no way she wouldn't, one way or another. ]

Slippery slope is this one. [ She taps the second to last, "burying yourself for others." ] I could re-word it.

The feeling like he couldn't measure up was going back to the mountain to look after the monkeys.

Burying self is still really bad.

Nor is measuring up. Then it's like...the only way to NOT be lonely is dependent on feeling he's worth it for others?

I'm not saying it isn't. That is, I agree with you, and it's on the list as more of a … full disclosure thing. "Here's all the things we found, and here's what we're leaning towards. Does this feel right to you?" … like that.

Mm. But … on second thought, you're prob'ly right about that one, too. Those feelings of being a failure and the last resort …

[ She winces. ]

...full disclosure is good.

But also when you make your self worth dependent on others, people can get...stuck in that.

Honestly, Dokkun? It's such a same hat feeling for me, I don't know what I was thinking just now.

It's been a long day and you do it too.

[He does too, just he hyperfixates on certain people, SO REALLY.]

I usually know better than to recommend it. Not that ... that's what we're doing exactly. But. Y'know.

[ Bonks her forehead lightly against him. ]

[He lightly bonks the top of her head.]

So the not depending self worth on other ones.

Mm. Not - oh ...

[ She shows him this ]

....I mean. He isn't WRONG about the second one.

[Just. Hate it.]

It's ... It's one of those formative memories. Foundational. I guess.

As much as I really, really, really wish it wasn't.

[Ngggggggh.]

....yes.

It is very formative.

It could actually change him not to use it, if he'll say it's important.

I hate that he was made to feel that way. [ Quiet honesty, followed by a long swig of hot chocolate. She offers him the thermos. ]

But.

If it's what he needs, it's what we'll do. And then ... we'll be there for him. After.

I do too. [His own is sympathy.]

Not sure if its a need as just...a fact. [He presses his face against her shoulder.] A very....unavoidable fact.

So.

The rejection and pragmatism?

...

Yeah. When you're ready.

[He takes a breath. He lets it out.]

Okay. Let's go. [He's going to pick up the burned piece of wood.]

This one first. Then the painting. I -

I don't wanna go by myself.

[ +1 memory of helping to kill a brother into a void! ]

[INTO THE VOID.]

[Then grabbing Korone's hand.] Let's go.

The burned wood goes into the void, and it closes.

[ LET'S GO.

Back up the awful staircase and to the awful painting. ]

Do you want me to grab it this time?

[Wrapping an arm around her.]

[ She takes a breath, starts to speak.

Feels the words try to strangle in her throat. She leans deeper into him, and presses her hand over the fresh mark on her neck. ]

My ... my reflex says I should be the one. Because it already hurt me; there's no reason to let it hurt you, too. But. I remember what you said. ... I hurt your feelings by not letting you help me. I'd be hurt, too, if you did the same.

... So.

Either you can take it, and I'll stay close like this. Or together, if you think that would help you.

....I can take it and you stay close.

It'll be okay. We got this together.

[He leans in, nuzzling the top of her head.]

[And then he'll take the painting.]

You are a six-eared macaque, and you have been rejected.

The other monkeys chittered about you for only a few minutes before summarily throwing you out of the nest, out of their group. Pointing at your ears, some hissing, some howling with laughter. Saying you're bad. The noises hurt in all ways it's possible to hurt.

You don't understand their reaction until you go look in the water and see your reflection. You don't look like they do. You lift a shaking hand to three ears where one should be.

What are you? Were you a mistake? You just want to be with the other monkeys.

You'll never be allowed to be with them as long as you have these ears. You've got to find a way to get rid of them.

[ Korone stays close, as promised, and chirps softly to him.

Love and comfort, affection, promises of togetherness ]

[Heart Game] From the ashes we can build

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Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

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Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation