castaside | Heart Game: dreamwalker variety

[ can she use her shadow magic to give the shadow a shadow hug, because she's gonna try.

either way. once she's gotten some of the dokis out and is no longer in danger of actually crying, she picks up that second textbook — and makes a happy little sound somewhere between a giggle and a pigeon-y coo. ]

Super relatable and super cute.

[ she touches the silk next ]

Touching the silk gives you a series of feelings and images. Macaque's kids gifting him his room and his perfect nest. Red Son sitting in said nest in a bathrobe demanding a claiming bite.

Most prominent is laying in there snuggling with Wash, talking about... everything. Their histories, their present, parenting, heart games, the list goes on. Macaque has rarely enjoyed just talking so openly to someone, and it motivates him to want that with more people. He's so grateful that Wash is who he is and that they are what they are to each other.

Yeah Choco your dad is a smitten kitten.

[ this direct hit from a different angle catapults her straight back into tearyville. god. korone blinks hard and swallows, smiling so brightly her cheeks ache. ]

I'm, I'm glad too. For both of you. More than I know how to say.

The shadow at her feet tilts its head inquisitively and holds out a shadow-handkerchief for her to take, which will turn into a physical one if she accepts it.

The monkeys chirp: okay? and soothing at her.

[ she accepts the offered handkerchief with a chuckle that only wobbles a tiny bit. the tears haven't spilled yet, but goodness knows it's only a matter of time. ]

Thanks, Dad. I'm okay! Just ... it's like I've said: I'm glad, I'm ridiculously glad, you guys have each other. You're beyond good for him.

The shadow makes a heart with its hands, which is probably something he picked up from one of the birdtiles or another.

[ let's be honest ]

[ "one of the birdtiles" was 110% agent washington ]

[ HEART HANDS BACK, spends a quality 3 seconds fluff-fluff-fluffing her wings from sheer doki - ]

Okay, okay, what's next, Papaque?

[ going to see if there's anything inside the desk! ]

In the top drawer she'll find a package of pictures, some sticky notes, and a book on parenting.

In the bottom drawer is a copy of Journey to the West, a book on Dissociative Identity Disorder, a book on neurodivergence, and a Bible. All of them have little sticky tabs between the pages.

… [ None of this is a surprise, and yet ... Korone stares at the books.

At the shadow.

Books.

Shadow.

Books.

Shadow. ]

Lifetime sentence in cuddle-jail for cuteness crimes. [ Nods sagely, decisively, and picks up the package of pictures to start with. ]

The shadow's shoulders shake like it's laughing.

The pictures are a collection of both selfies and candid shots with/of his kids and his significant others. Looking at the pictures gives a very warm feeling, a solid foundation that he hopes to build on, something new and fascinating that he's never had before.

He takes a good deal of pictures when it seems like he's just poking through his phone, it seems. Cuteness crimes indeed.

[ It's warm feeling inception, Korone's compounding with his until she's making adorable li'l burbly chirrupy coos under her breath without realising. ]

Can't even grumble 'bout the stealth … [ For several reasons, including the fact that she does the same thing. ] Sharing these precious moments with you … seeing you smile, building this family together — it's the best.

[ After a few more minutes, Korone puts the photographs away exactly as she'd found them and checks out the sticky notes. ]

She finds a series of sticky notes in a neat pile:

"Don't be afraid, being open feels better."

"It's fine not to be good at this yet."

"Don't make the same old mistakes that cost you everything."

"I don't understand why this isn't working, but I'll keep trying."

It appears to be a series of little mantras that he repeats to himself.

[ It's fine not to be good at this yet and But I'll keep trying strike a deep chord. She brushes her fingers gently over the sticky notes, taking care not to crease or smudge them. ]

I believe in you, Dad. You've come so far already, and I see how hard you try; how much heart you put into everything ...

[ Like being there for her and Donnie. ]

[ She picks up the parenting book. ]

When the picks up the parenting book, the first thing she'll feel is anxiety -- but not the overwhelming kind. It's a low level of constant anxiety of knowing that you can't fuck this up, but also having wavering confidence that it's okay, you're doing okay. With a few bumps along the way, but generally okay.

The anxiety feels like a good thing, actually. It makes you think, really think about what you're doing. It makes you take chances. It makes you try things that you've never tried, because you'd do absolutely anything for them.

[ excuse her for a minute. or two. or maybe like four, but hey, who's counting?

disappears into her wings.

soft, muffled peep peEP PEEP ]

The shadow mimics a hugging motion and she'll be able to feel a ghost of an actual embrace.

[ PEEP PEEP this is embarrassing oh my god PEEP PEEP PEEP ]

[ six minutes later, korone emerges from her wing cocoon with damp eyes and ruddy cheeks ]

[ chirps, love, dad ]

All around her the monkeys chirp: love, family, care.

[ cheep chirp chirp chirp chhhhhhh'mon, words, work with her! korone paps herself on both cheeks. takes a deep, deep breath. lets it out nice and slow. ]

[ chirp — ]

[ WORDS. C'MON. ]

I … said it once before, right—? One day … if I get to be a parent —

You're my inspiration, Dad.

[ that said, korone braces herself for More Murder and opens the book on neurodivergence ]

The shadow makes a motion that conveys "aw, shucks" both sarcastically and very much genuinely.

Picking up the book, she'll find that initially he picked it up because of Donnie and Red Son, but finds that it can apply to a lot of the people in his life: MK, Wukong, Lucifer, and yes Choco herself.

He has a lot of notes on the sections about touch and fidgets and going nonverbal and different ways to show love that might be easier to take during those times. There are notes in the margins with little ideas about how to react when there's stress happening (which it always seems to).

There are a lot of notes in the pages dealing with depression.

The frayed pages and use of multiple different pens indicate that he's read this book multiple times.

[ ... ... ... ... how big is this book because korone might be reading it from cover to cover ]

It's 250 pages, give or take, not including the index and appendices. She is welcome tor ead the entire thing, he'll wait. No time limit on this heart game.

[ she's a fast reader, at least! and she does skim some sections, mumbling keywords and other things she can use as a handy reference for Later.

at some point, eventually, she pushes herself up off the floor (when did she sit down? your guess is as good as hers!) just long enough to gently deposit that book and replace it with the one on DID. ]

You sense an urge, a need, to understand. This isn't something he has experience with in all his centuries, but two people he loves are under this umbrella, so it's time to buckle down.

He has placed a lot of notes in the margins, less in the sections about causes and more in the sections about treatment -- the parts about how to interact equally well with each alter, that is, he has left the parts about merging alters with large Xs over them, clearly having no interest.

[ Here's some fun facts about Korone:

One! She didn't have the slightest inkling that she could possibly have DID until Donnie pointed it out.
Two! She doesn't remember if she even knew what DID was in the first place, beyond maybe some basic pop culture references, until Donnie pointed it out. Did she know about Wash? Maybe? Probably? Who knows! She sure doesn't!
… Three … it's a subject she's still tentatively circling around. Poking it with a stick when she's feeling brave, squinting through binoculars when she isn't. (The former comes easier when she thinks about it as learning for Wash's sake.)

All in all, DID is a Whole Thing that she has been trying very, very hard to be cool and normal about. ]

[ She pauses over the crossed out sections. ]

... You don't like that?

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