castaside | Heart Game: dreamwalker variety

"Whoa. You have been reading a lot. Okay. Uuuuh...might as well bite this bullet," Candid touches the Journey to the West book.

Macaque hates this book. Hates it. But it's the story of the person he loves, and the people he loves, so he's reading it. Trying to get a better understanding of why Wukong cares about the person who put a crown of pain on him when he was "disobedient."

No enlightenment on that issue so far, but he's going to keep trying.

Talking to Wukong about it will end badly, he's clear on that, so he's left with the book.

Candid nods. He turns the book over in his hands and flips through the pages, checking out the sticky notes inside. He feels those feelings. Part of him is sure this book is probably not completely accurate. Still, it isn't a bad idea to try and understand.

Most of the sticky notes are screaming about how awful the great companions are. Toward the back of the book he appears to be trying harder to understand it, though still struggling to see the appeal in people that treated him so terribly.

Apparently the tabs are from more than one reading. It appears that Macaque is on his fourth reading of the text. The tabs from the latest reading are more self-deprecating, lamenting that if he hadn't fallen out with Wukong he would have been there and maybe Wukong wouldn't have had to go through this and trauma bond with these people.

None of it is positive, but it's clear that he's trying to get there.

Candid reads the notes over a few times to get the order of readings down. He doesn't say anything. Not here. Everything in these games is so specific and sensitive. He remembers that in the download class MK took. He can talk to Macaque about it outside sometime. Especially about the companions. Maybe help him understand.

And help him remember that it isn't all on him for their falling out. MK saw the memory of their fight under the mountain. It was both of them being angry and upset and disappointed. They lashed out at each other because no one else was around to help or for them to let that out at the people who deserved it.

He puts the book back and chooses the book on DID next.

You sense an urge, a need, to understand. This isn't something he has experience with in all his centuries, but two people he loves are under this umbrella, so it's time to buckle down.

He has placed a lot of notes in the margins, less in the sections about causes and more in the sections about treatment -- the parts about how to interact equally well with each alter, that is, he has left the parts about merging alters with large Xs over them, clearly having no interest.

Candid reads slowly, trying to wrap his head around some of this. It isn't too difficult. It's like himself and the other clones and MK. Kinda. Different but similar enough he has a grasp on the concept. He wonders who they are but it's okay not knowing.

Macaque is really working on these things. Connecting, understanding, helping, but not changing.

He puts the book down and picks up the Bible next.

The Bible is similar to Journey to the West in that the notes and sticky tabs are filled with a lot of "FUCK HEAVEN" sentiment. He is clearly devastated over what happened to Lucifer and how he was treated both by Heaven and by the text.

He seems to be reading this book more to understand what Lucifer went through rather than trying to sympathize with the other side, at least.

Looking to understand. To sympathize and help someone he cares about. Lucifer seems like a nice person and he deserves it. Even being the Devil. Also Fuck Heaven indeed. MK smiles and puts it back. Time for that last book now.

Picking up the book, Candid will find that initially Macaque picked it up because of Donnie and Red Son, but finds that it can apply to a lot of the people in his life: MK, Wukong, Lucifer, and Choco.

He has a lot of notes on the sections about touch and fidgets and going nonverbal and different ways to show love that might be easier to take during those times. There are notes in the margins with little ideas about how to react when there's stress happening (which it always seems to).

There are a lot of notes in the pages dealing with depression and attachment.

The frayed pages and use of multiple different pens indicate that he's read this book multiple times.

This one feels heavy. In a good way but still heavy. If he had any insights into the original MK anymore, he'd be tempted to write them down. But that's not a good idea. Especially since it seems when MK is really mad at someone, he cuts them off. Like he's been cut off.

A sobering though.

Still, he smiles softly. It's still so caring and soft. Macaque is funny that way. Hard sometimes. Ruthless others. Dangerous to anyone really. But only when he chooses to be. And soft too, when he wants to be. He sets the book back and gently closes the drawer.

Well...that gives him an idea. He goes to the elevator and hits the call button.

The elevator doors open. It is more than large enough to fit anyone, even accounting for Wash's power armor. It's well-lit and surprisingly modern in addition to being clean and spacious.

On the keypad you will see the following:

LOBBY

Level C

And then there is a small keyhole where you're clearly meant to fill in order to proceed any lower than Level C. It is different than the one that fit the staff before, looking more like an actual key goes in there.

After C is:

Level S

Level S1

Level U

And then another keyhole. And finally:

Level FE

Edited 2025-03-07 21:01 (UTC)

"Oh. So the keys are back. Okay. Guess that means I only have one option."

He hits Level C.

The doors open at Level C. The construction yard from last time is no more. Instead there's a small, grassy hill with wildflowers growing on and around it. The moon is out despite it being daytime. On the top of the hill, Macaque is sitting with an unopened picnic basket.

"Hi, Candid. Come sit down for a minute."

Candid is pleasantly surprised. He walks up the hill and over to Macaque. He sits down as he's asked.

"Hey. This is really pretty here. How are you?"

"I'm pretty good, all considered." He reaches into the picnic basket. "Something to eat or drink? I can make pretty much whatever you like, but I do fruit the best."

Candid smiles. "I'm glad to hear that. Apricots please? Those sound good right now."

Macaque pulls out four apricots, handing two over to Candid while keeping two for himself. He bites into one.

"I'll bet you're glad this space changed."

Candid takes a nice bite and hums happily. Apricots are so good.

"You have no idea. I was a little worried coming in here. How about you? Are you glad it changed?"

"I am. It wasn't pleasant, what was in here before, but it had to be done. Level C is my conscious self. Before, I was so walled off emotionally that the only way to progress deeper into the heart was to kill my consciousness, metaphorically speaking. Now I'm open to people, at least certain people, exploring down there, so there's no need for all that messiness."

He finishes one apricot and tosses the rest. "My kids and Wash probably did the most to make that happen but all of you had a part in it."

That makes sense. There is a small twinge of something in Candid's chest but it's barely an echo of an emotion. The kids and Wash did a lot of the heavy lifting in the Heart Game. That makes a lot of sense.

"I'm glad it all worked for the better. Even if it was a little horrifying in the moment. ...Would...it be a terrible idea to try and get to that bar area to apologize to your angry self? It's an idea I had and I figure I should ask here since this is your conscious mind and all."

Macaque gets quiet for a short moment.

"My anger isn't exactly reasonable or rational. I'm not sure how it would react to that. It might be too busy trying to kill you to have a conversation. But then, a lot has changed around here. I can't really answer that question well, I'm sorry."

"Okay. I wanted to run it by you. Since if you said hell no, I wouldn't go. I just wanted to try. And if it looks the same, I'll leave before anything happens. Is that an okay plan by you? If not, I just won't go. I wanna make sure."

"If it's important to you, I'm not going to insist. Just please be careful. That's one part of me that I expect hasn't changed much since it's about my past. And I wouldn't do well with my heaart hurting someone I care about."

"First sign of danger, I'm out. Swear to it. I won't go getting myself hurt," Candid smiles and eats his other apricot.

"I care about you too much to let myself get hurt and hurt you. I've hurt you enough for a lifetime."

Heart Game: dreamwalker variety

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