[ she thinks she has an idea of what he means, but damn, sir, that's still concerning. ]
The last place was run by a conflict-loving, soul-eating nature god and his cult. Each one of us "sacrifices" had a bunch of 'objectives' and 'taboos' carved into our soul. Taboos would act as negative reinforcement and damage/degrade our soul even faster, objectives would do the opposite. Effects varied a lot with things like pain, nausea, fear, euphoria being common. Sometimes people would lose or regain a memory. The objectives and taboos themselves are gone now. But.
He gets cagey about things that hit too close to home, and then he gets pissy about it when pushed. Or at least he used to.
[ Having things carved into your soul... speaking of things that hit close to home (about Wukong). Macaque isn't new to the thought of wanting to kill someone or something that's in another dimension since he's close to Cole, but that is a new level of horrible. ]
I see. Did you know what your objectives and taboos were, or did you have to figure it out based on how you felt when you did things?
[ Ah. So it is something like that. Korone's heart aches with sympathy — Macaque is playing it cool, and maybe he is as "used to it" as a person can be.
Doesn't make it fair.
Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like holy hell. ]
That can be one of the things that hurts the most. Does he know?
[ Taptaptap ... typetypetype ]
A mix of both. Some were visible for everyone to see on the public profiles. Some were a mystery to everyone until they kicked you in the face.
Touch was one. An objective, so it wasn't strictly bad. But I really hate being touched when I'm not expecting it and the boost from the objective could be disorienting? outside of active combat, where I'm focused enough to ignore it. So please telegraph any intention to touch
the other is
not so relevant for training, but I'll give you a heads up anyway if something happens that shares memories, and you hear one of mine that isn't korone don't repeat it to anyone, including me
That he does it, and the impact it has on the people around him?
[ Are people able to call him out and still offer him the support people NEED if they're going to grow and change? Does MACAQUE have people supporting him? She hopes so. She really, really hopes so. ]
Thank you. Sincerely. I know this all came up out of nowhere [ and every instinct she has is SCREAMING at her to apologise and backtrack ] and it's kind of a lot ... Your patience and willingness to help means a lot to me So if there are things I can do to help, questions I can answer let me know, and I'll try my best ꒰ঌ(ง •̀_•́)ง
He and I have always had big blind spots about each other, it's something we're working on. [ One might correctly get the impression that he's not the most comfortable with this topic. It's cool he'll be more comfortable after Donnie sluices his brain around a little. ]
You don't need to thank me. You're not too much. You've been through a lot, that's all, and I know what it looks like when you need time and what not to do. It'll be fine.
[ Message received. She'd started to Get It with the previous response, and she's glad now she yeeted more than half of what she'd written before hitting send. ]
I'll be rooting for you guys.
[ A little offer of support, way less of the well-intentioned prying. ]
Maybe I don't need to, but still. I'm grateful. It'll be fine and then we can blow up as many kitchen appliances as we want
Sounds like fun to me. Any idea when you want to get started? I'll need a baseline of your seasonal abilities but we can start with testing your shield if that's more comfortable.
I've got two to three hours a day set aside for training, with a couple of rest days and flexibility built in for questing.
[ quests can be training, too, or exhausting enough to warrant a pass. ]
One sec.
[ She sends through a screenshot of her calendar for the next two weeks. IT IS COLOR CODED and very neatly organised, focusing primarily on commitments like shifts at work, training, education, quests, and planned dates with Donnie and/or Eve - she doesn't plan her life down to the minutiae. ]
If I'm not at work, you're free to call dibs! If it's after work there's a chance I might have had to use a pendant cast or two already (most of my customers are great but I've had to yeet some) And I'd be fine starting with either
[ Macaque ponders this for a moment and sends along three days/in the upcoming week, either after work or on an afternoon where she doesn't work, not on days when she has dates because that's just Rude. ]
How about that? If it's after work then you'll know how many spells you have left. We won't spend them all unless you want to, not yet. How long we work is up to you.
I'll probably take us out into a less populated area of the segments, I can get there instantly. That way we won't have to worry about bystanders or busybodies.
(`･ω･´)ゞ That works! I always leave one emergency cast Just In Case but I'm willing to make an exception if you want to see the impact it has & I'm happy to go for a few hours if you're up for it! [ If she gets focused she will go and go and go until she falls over, which takes way, way longer than one might think. It's all the supersoldier training montages.
Please don't let her keep you out there for 6 hours, Mac. ]
Unless Donnie comes with, let me know the locations in advance so I can drop a pin for him. He trusts you with me but he still likes knowing
We'll leave your last cast for now, it's only prudent to have it for emergencies. If Red Son and I get to the point where we need to see the result of the final cast, then we'll do that in a controlled environment. In the meantime we'll go as long as there's time and you have endurance.
I'll text him when we pick a place, he can either join us or just know where it is, whatever you both want. I can pick them in advance if it helps.
[ He might literally train her to exhaustion once, but then he'll make it clear that's a No and she needs to stop before she crashes. Knowing your limits is Important! ]
There's a slight delay, a couple of minutes, while Korone thinks something through. ]
Back at the temple, I had a set of memory marbles They let you show someone else a memory from your perspective without any risk (not counting potential psychological trauma) Would something like that be helpful?
[ She would not in a million years be offering this if it wasn't for one simple fact: both Red Son and Macaque are going well out of their way to help someone they have zero obligation towards. If there's anything she can do to make it easier, she should ]
[ Hey if he's gonna go all out testing your shield then he's gonna go all out, that means the big boy. ]
All information would be helpful.
But if you're not comfortable, then we don't have to.
...Actually, we have a scroll of memories that we could use if you don't want to use the marbles. It's more of a third person perspective, I'm not sure how that would be in comparison.
[ It's probably a good thing that they're discussing this via text, because whew, the reminder that she's able to put her comfort first hit hard. ]
While I'm never fully comfortable with this kind of thing, there are times where it's worth it. It feels like this could be one of them. And APPARENTLY some of my teammates poured positivity paint in a box symbolising my memory&empathy trauma? So (👉ﾟヮﾟ)👉 Might as well make the best of it!
The marbles are a decent option for me because I can put in as much or as little as I want, and they're one way
I could see pros and cons to either perspective 🤔 1st person you get an understanding of what it feels like to be the one using it, but then you've got to contend with everything else going on at the same time 3rd person you get to see what it looks like from the outside, unless you or Red Son-san have spells that'll let you dig deeper
You being able to not be as involved in things via the marbles sounds like a plus. Especially since it sounds like there are things you'd rather not relive. [ Understandably. ]
Once you go into the scroll, it downloads your memories. Then whoever is in there proceeds through them and can observe and interact with the memories. It can't change anything about the past, but as a function of being there you can walk up and deck someone if you wanted to. For example.
We'd need you to go in the scroll with us initially in order for it to get your memories. After that I think we could navigate your memories without you being present, if you want. I'm not sure whether it's less comfortable to be there and witness it all or let us go through without you, that'd be your call. But if you're there then you're there. It's like walking through real life, except it's the past.
Getting out is easy, we just take you out. [ Now. And if you know the proper magic. ] With someone from my world, the memories are all stored in the scroll no matter what. I'm not sure if they'd keep yours stored for the long term or not, but Red Son keeps the scroll under magical and literal lock and key. So it wouldn't be accessible unless he lets them at it, and no one would be touching your memories unless you give permission or it was a very severe emergency.
It presents what happened, objectively. I don't know about degraded memories, but I had a few slightly misremembered things get corrected when I saw the memories inside the scroll.
[ ... it would be nice if it COULD let her see those memories properly again. she's lost the names and faces of so many of her friends. but ...
but. ]
If you and Red Son-san think it has a strong chance of helping ... I think I'm open to trying * with the understanding that I don't have to do anything if I don't want to.
Of course. I wouldn't make you do anything you didn't want to, if things get rough we can stop anytime.
And if for some reason Red Son lost his mind and tried to push you, I'll kick his ass. How's that? [ This is thrown in as a joke, he doesn't think Red would do anything of the like. ]
it's kinda funny how confused he gets "why are you like this, pigeon girl" "well MAYBE it's because you've been so busy being kind to me literally every time we've interacted" (‾◡◝)
let me know what kinds of things you'd want to see and i'll see what i can come up with the day they switched the pendants from an outside power source to us might be a good one?
He gets easily confused by people with social skills.
That seems promising as a lead for information. You probably have a good sense of what's important, since those would be things that struck a big nerve. Anything that involves the pendant, but other things leave their impact on the soul.
--Sucks that it has to be the bad ones that will give us what we might need. The best we can do is give you as much control as possible over how to walk through this.
(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) so i've noticed he's very sweet in his own way though.
[ red son is cute and she WILL say it ]
has red son-san talked to you about the soul scan he did?
it's like i said: i'm willing to share the bad stuff if it's for a good reason and "the best you can do" is huge to me, macaque-san. i really can't emphasise that enough. breaking the limiter will mean that i can do more to help people. i'll be able to keep myself safer, so the people who care about me won't have to worry so much. and it'll be one more link to my least favorite person in the multiverse broken for good. hopefully the LAST one.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ she thinks she has an idea of what he means, but damn, sir, that's still concerning. ]
The last place was run by a conflict-loving, soul-eating nature god and his cult.
Each one of us "sacrifices" had a bunch of 'objectives' and 'taboos' carved into our soul. Taboos would act as negative reinforcement and damage/degrade our soul even faster, objectives would do the opposite. Effects varied a lot with things like pain, nausea, fear, euphoria being common. Sometimes people would lose or regain a memory.
The objectives and taboos themselves are gone now. But.
no subject
[ Having things carved into your soul... speaking of things that hit close to home (about Wukong). Macaque isn't new to the thought of wanting to kill someone or something that's in another dimension since he's close to Cole, but that is a new level of horrible. ]
I see. Did you know what your objectives and taboos were, or did you have to figure it out based on how you felt when you did things?
I'm only asking so I know what to avoid.
no subject
Doesn't make it fair.
Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like holy hell. ]
That can be one of the things that hurts the most.
Does he know?
[ Taptaptap ... typetypetype ]
A mix of both. Some were visible for everyone to see on the public profiles.
Some were a mystery to everyone until they kicked you in the face.
Touch was one. An objective, so it wasn't strictly bad. But I really hate being touched when I'm not expecting it and the boost from the objective could be
disorienting? outside of active combat, where I'm focused enough to ignore it.
So please telegraph any intention to touch
the other is
not so relevant for training, but I'll give you a heads up anyway
if something happens that shares memories, and you hear one of mine that isn't korone
don't repeat it to anyone, including me
no subject
Does he know what?
[ He sighs heavily, in a sympathetic way rather than a frustrated one. ]
No worries about touch, I know someone who's the same way so I'm used to asking first.
Okay, I've noted that. It's good to know.
no subject
[ Are people able to call him out and still offer him the support people NEED if they're going to grow and change? Does MACAQUE have people supporting him? She hopes so. She really, really hopes so. ]
Thank you.
Sincerely.
I know this all came up out of nowhere [ and every instinct she has is SCREAMING at her to apologise and backtrack ] and it's kind of a lot ...
Your patience and willingness to help means a lot to me
So if there are things I can do to help, questions I can answer
let me know, and I'll try my best
꒰ঌ(ง •̀_•́)ง
no subject
You don't need to thank me. You're not too much. You've been through a lot, that's all, and I know what it looks like when you need time and what not to do. It'll be fine.
no subject
I'll be rooting for you guys.
[ A little offer of support, way less of the well-intentioned prying. ]
Maybe I don't need to, but still. I'm grateful.
It'll be fine and then we can blow up as many kitchen appliances as we want
no subject
Sounds like fun to me. Any idea when you want to get started? I'll need a baseline of your seasonal abilities but we can start with testing your shield if that's more comfortable.
no subject
[ quests can be training, too, or exhausting enough to warrant a pass. ]
One sec.
[ She sends through a screenshot of her calendar for the next two weeks. IT IS COLOR CODED and very neatly organised, focusing primarily on commitments like shifts at work, training, education, quests, and planned dates with Donnie and/or Eve - she doesn't plan her life down to the minutiae. ]
If I'm not at work, you're free to call dibs!
If it's after work there's a chance I might have had to use a pendant cast or two already (most of my customers are great but I've had to yeet some)
And I'd be fine starting with either
no subject
How about that? If it's after work then you'll know how many spells you have left. We won't spend them all unless you want to, not yet. How long we work is up to you.
I'll probably take us out into a less populated area of the segments, I can get there instantly. That way we won't have to worry about bystanders or busybodies.
no subject
(`･ω･´)ゞ
That works!
I always leave one emergency cast Just In Case but I'm willing to make an exception if you want to see the impact it has
& I'm happy to go for a few hours if you're up for it! [ If she gets focused she will go and go and go until she falls over, which takes way, way longer than one might think. It's all the supersoldier training montages.
Please don't let her keep you out there for 6 hours, Mac. ]
Unless Donnie comes with, let me know the locations in advance so I can drop a pin for him.
He trusts you with me but he still likes knowing
no subject
I'll text him when we pick a place, he can either join us or just know where it is, whatever you both want. I can pick them in advance if it helps.
[ He might literally train her to exhaustion once, but then he'll make it clear that's a No and she needs to stop before she crashes. Knowing your limits is Important! ]
no subject
There's a slight delay, a couple of minutes, while Korone thinks something through. ]
Back at the temple, I had a set of memory marbles
They let you show someone else a memory from your perspective without any risk (not counting potential psychological trauma)
Would something like that be helpful?
[ She would not in a million years be offering this if it wasn't for one simple fact: both Red Son and Macaque are going well out of their way to help someone they have zero obligation towards. If there's anything she can do to make it easier, she should ]
no subject
All information would be helpful.
But if you're not comfortable, then we don't have to.
...Actually, we have a scroll of memories that we could use if you don't want to use the marbles. It's more of a third person perspective, I'm not sure how that would be in comparison.
no subject
While I'm never fully comfortable with this kind of thing, there are times where it's worth it. It feels like this could be one of them.
And APPARENTLY some of my teammates poured positivity paint in a box symbolising my memory&empathy trauma?
So
(👉ﾟヮﾟ)👉
Might as well make the best of it!
The marbles are a decent option for me because I can put in as much or as little as I want, and they're one way
I could see pros and cons to either perspective 🤔
1st person you get an understanding of what it feels like to be the one using it, but then you've got to contend with everything else going on at the same time
3rd person you get to see what it looks like from the outside, unless you or Red Son-san have spells that'll let you dig deeper
How does the memory scroll work?
no subject
Once you go into the scroll, it downloads your memories. Then whoever is in there proceeds through them and can observe and interact with the memories. It can't change anything about the past, but as a function of being there you can walk up and deck someone if you wanted to. For example.
We'd need you to go in the scroll with us initially in order for it to get your memories. After that I think we could navigate your memories without you being present, if you want. I'm not sure whether it's less comfortable to be there and witness it all or let us go through without you, that'd be your call. But if you're there then you're there. It's like walking through real life, except it's the past.
no subject
so
SO many things she doesn't want to relive, Macaque. So many. ]
[ ... downloads ... ]
[ hm. excuse her, she needs to scream into a pillow for a minute. or two. or ... okay, it's five. she's back in five minutes. ]
What happens to the memories once they're in the scroll? Can they be deleted?
How easy is it to get out once you're in?
And does it present the memories exactly as they were, or
if the person's memory is degraded in places
would that be reflected too?
no subject
It presents what happened, objectively. I don't know about degraded memories, but I had a few slightly misremembered things get corrected when I saw the memories inside the scroll.
no subject
[ ... it would be nice if it COULD let her see those memories properly again. she's lost the names and faces of so many of her friends. but ...
but. ]
If you and Red Son-san think it has a strong chance of helping
... I think I'm open to trying
* with the understanding that I don't have to do anything if I don't want to.
no subject
And if for some reason Red Son lost his mind and tried to push you, I'll kick his ass. How's that? [ This is thrown in as a joke, he doesn't think Red would do anything of the like. ]
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and i trust that you wouldn't either.
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"why are you like this, pigeon girl"
"well MAYBE it's because you've been so busy being kind to me literally every time we've interacted"
(‾◡◝)
let me know what kinds of things you'd want to see and i'll see what i can come up with
the day they switched the pendants from an outside power source to us might be a good one?
no subject
That seems promising as a lead for information. You probably have a good sense of what's important, since those would be things that struck a big nerve. Anything that involves the pendant, but other things leave their impact on the soul.
--Sucks that it has to be the bad ones that will give us what we might need. The best we can do is give you as much control as possible over how to walk through this.
no subject
he's very sweet in his own way though.
[ red son is cute and she WILL say it ]
has red son-san talked to you about the soul scan he did?
it's like i said: i'm willing to share the bad stuff if it's for a good reason
and "the best you can do" is huge to me, macaque-san. i really can't emphasise that enough.
breaking the limiter will mean that i can do more to help people. i'll be able to keep myself safer, so the people who care about me won't have to worry so much.
and it'll be one more link to my least favorite person in the multiverse broken for good. hopefully the LAST one.
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