Macaque picks up a peach and tosses it to himself while Wash answers. No prizes for guessing why he picked that particular fruit.
Good, then. He trusts Wash to answer honestly, and he didn't feel used before that one time. "No, I don't count evil bitch manifestations." What happened in his heart is fuzzy as hell, but he knows she was in there. He has a vague memory of that piece of him taunting Wash and Wukong. "Feel free to use her as much as you want, she deserves it. And it's the only way to avoid serious problems."
"And I'm not confused anymore, so we're good." He bites into the peach, expecting and receiving a flood of memories. "I trust you, but I'll look out for myself. I promise." And he's already been getting better about it, so.
"Good," he said, letting his head lightly thud back against the tree, closing his eyes. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.
Repeats a few times.
It is a relief to know he hasn't royally fucked with Macaque's head. He was honest. He didn't want to have a relationship with lies and manipulations being apart of it. He's lived through that far too much to seek it out.
"Though really, if you did have some selfish motives, you could just ask for a date," he said. He's just saying.
Macaque eats his peach as he waits for Wash to get through whatever's in his head. Just sitting there thinking how it's crystal clear that Wash isn't interested, so Macaque can focus on something strictly platonic. It's nice to be able to have everything lined up neatly--
And then.
Macaque slowly finishes chewing his bite of peach and tosses the pit into another portal. (Where do these end up? It's a mystery.) Then he laughs softly. He was doing it again, wasn't he? Assuming things when given the slightest bit of ambiguity. Same as he did with Wukong.
"You sure know how to keep a guy on his toes." But he gets why things had to happen in that order. Getting into something like a date with 'I might screw with your head' up in the air would be bad.
"I found a cat cafe we could go eat at sometime, if you want to." Macaque will have cats all over him, but whatever.
"Better to take care of the heavy stuff, otherwise it festers," he said with a shrug. "Also it'd be real fucked up to bring up a date after that without actually addressing the whole using you thing. That's how you get on the slippery slope."
He chuckles and opens his eyes. "Well, now you just know the way to a guy's heart," he said.
"I'm not you, but I didn't have to be when that one was obvious." Practically a gimme.
"Whenever things are okay for you, then. I know it's delicate with Wylan, so I can wait. But I know that I certainly need a break from being Cole's pillar for a while now and then, so I can imagine it might be good for you, too." To get out sometimes. Otherwise this stuff will bury you.
"That's because cats are awesome," he said. "Little bundles of love."
He nods. "I do. I love him, I wouldn't have adopted him if I didn't, but he has a lot of father issues and it can be hard to take when he stops actually seeing me and I can't get his eyes to clear." He has enough difficulties seeing him as himself and when one of those other people is actually a terrible father, it gets to be...
A lot.
"Hopefully it'll be easier to help when there are more people in his life he can depend on without that issue. So breaks will help, keep me from messing up."
"He mentioned to me about his father issues. Very briefly." So Macaque gets it. He can imagine how hard this is, all around. Wanting to help and not being able to is the worst feeling.
"A couple of days, then? Or whatever, you decide. Cole insisted that I keep my own schedule, I just need to make sure I get enough time with him, and I'm doing that, so I'm flexible."
He reaches over to squeeze Wash's shoulder, making sure that Wash sees it coming (if he doesn't see it, or flinches away, Macaque puts his hand back down).
"I sort of want to say that afterwards I'll take you somewhere to nap for a while. I'd be able to hear if Wylan needed you, so maybe you could get some rest knowing that. And my shadow blankets are the most comfortable thing in the world to sleep on." If he does say so himself.
"They're bad and if you asked me who I wanted to murder more between him and Nyssa, I'm not sure I could tell you," he said. He has a twenty step plan to make that man's life a living hell before a very slow death.
"A couple of days. If we can't get Wylan into some place more stable after this long, we're going to need to get professionals anyway. Donnie, Eve, nor Lott are equipped or in place to help, and then there's the time of year for Choco and if I crack with him alone, it's going to set everything back to the start. He can't even take me being the Soldier and that's the healthiest thing I can default to when I'm not coping well. He either needs to be in a better place, or I'll need actual licensed back up." He doesn't know how Wylan would react to professionals, all things considered.
But he already hates himself enough for the situation.
If he adds something else to the pile, its going to be two fires instead of one.
"...you can teleport us in an instant," he said. And god. God, does a nap sound good.
"I can teleport us in an instant." Just soft reassurance. Yes, please, rest for Wash. "You can get some rest now, if you wanted to. I can hear him loud and clear. Even his heart rate. He's okay." Which sounds creepy but Macaque literally can't help it, so he might as well make it useful.
--Oh, speaking of a couple of days.
"That reminds me. It won't be long until the kids are in season, and you'll need someplace else to be. I have a house right on the edge of the Autumn segment, it where I lived before Cole. I keep it clean and stocked... like a safehouse. Plenty of space for you two, nice and quiet, and nobody knows about it aside from Choco, and now you. I'd like to keep it that way, if you get my drift." Please don't tell people that he has this place just in case he needs to run away. "Cole can't take knowing that right now, so I need it quiet. But its yours if you want it, until the kids are through with the surge in instincts."
He's used to being monitored via his suit when it comes to stuff like health. Sure, sometimes it was an isolated system, but there was plenty that was connected to some kind of centralized system.
"So even if he's trying to be dangerously reckless, we wouldn't be too late." Because that is the biggest concern. Wylan gets self destructive in seemingly an instant. Its why he's so worried.
He looks surprised at that. He understands the value of a safe house. They weren't things to be given out without serious consideration. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure about the house. I thought about it long and hard. Like I said, I trust you." And that's that. It was so much easier than he thought it would be.
"Even if he's being dangerously reckless, we can get to him before there's any harm. Even if he's just panicking from his own thoughts. I've got my ears on him, and I won't hesitate if there's the slightest chance there could be a problem. I've got him. Come here and rest." He pats his shoulder.
"Truly a poor decision," he said jokingly. Probably jokingly. Debatable.
"Hm, at this rate, I might think you're just looking for a cuddle partner," he said. He sighed and looked out at the lake. "...it is getting close to the point where Choco is going to get tempted to use a sleep spell on me."
"I have three and a half of those already, I'm not that hard up for cuddles. Irresistible as you are and all, this is more about you looking like you're about to fall over. And you won't be any good to anyone then."
He scoots a bit closer. "Come on, you can't have a better offer than this. You can be sure he's okay, and you'll be better able to keep him that way if you're rested. And I'm terribly comfortable to cuddle, so there's no downside."
He huffs a bit, amused. Before he finally lets him slump down more. He IS really tired.
"Your gut is really soft," he said and let's himself lean against Macaque. "Even on your back. Kind of thought it'd be matted, trapped under your fur." Instead it was stupidly soft, even if he was near tearing it out over proper petting.
Macaque moves his arm to accommodate Wash, though doesn't put it around him or anything too jarring.
And he huffs at the comment. "Grooming is important to monkeys, I take good care of it. Especially at this time of year, when I'll be starting to shed my undercoat. I can't stand feeling dirty or making a mess so I'm pretty meticulous about it."
He opens a portal and grabs a shadow blanket. "See if this is comfortable to you, it might help you relax." It feels like a refreshing breeze in a warm shade, soft in a very different way then Macaque's fur.
"You need a brushing partner for that? I used to brush out my cat's under fur, and I only ever got scratched once. Learned real fast how to do it right," he said with a chuckle.
He reaches out to take the blanket. Running his hands over it at first, to get used to the feeling. Touch starvation from power armor takes very careful adjustments to new things. "Magic really is wild."
"What is going on with Cole?" He asked as he adjusted. It takes a bit for him to wide down irregardless.
"If you're offering, I'm not going to say no. It helps to have someone else do it." Monkeys have an instinct to be groomed for social reasons and all. "I only scratch when absolutely necessary. Or when it's welcome. I might purr, though."
"There's a lot it can do, yes. I've been working with my shadows a long time, so I had a lot of time to experiment." He will let Wash use the blanket or not as he likes.
About Cole, he sighs. "Long story short, part of the way he works is that he needs a pillar to keep him grounded to reality. Usually it's been an object, but in this case it's me. Seeing me all messed up wasn't great for his grip on reality, so he's breaking. If I don't spend enough time with him, he'll get worse, fall into a coma." It's a little more complicated than that, but that's the short version. "As you can imagine, I feel like shit about that. All I want is to fix this, but I also want to run since that's my usual coping. I think that's why he insists that I take breaks, he knows me."
Not so far off from the Wylan situation, thematically.
"I have noticed the purring. Its cute," he said. "If a little weird to suddenly feel in a wildly different context." He's so used to purring=cat so it was a bit jarring. Not necessarily in a bad way, just a need to get used to it way. "And yeah, I'm offering. Just so its clear."
"Magic probably doesn't exist in my world. Some Forerunner stuff seems like it, but nothing definite. Still getting used to all it can do," he said. Shifting the blanket to include Macaque as well. We cuddling properly here.
"...that does seem ill advised to attach something like that to a person. Sure, they could defend themselves unlike an object, but relationships are...complicated. Even one that's been steadfast for years would be risky," he said. Even without ill intent. Sudden vanishings, death, just drama. A lot can happen.
"It's different than cat purring, at least. Or at least it sounds wildly different to me, not sure if that's universal. It's like I can tell the difference between Donnie's chirps and Choco's, and Choco's when she's imitating me, and a native-born monkey. But then I can hear the difference in a person's heartbeat from miles and miles away, so perhaps I'm not the best judge."
Macaque will also snuggle under the blanket, it's his magic so of course it comforts him. "I make every effort to impress people I want to go on dates with, what can I say?" It was more that he wanted Wash to relax enough to rest, but he's keeping it light.
"He didn't choose me as his pillar, it just happened. He has limited influence over what it is, he just got stuck with me. I would have thought it'd be MK, since he's got the temperament for it, but he can't be because fey rules are total horseshit. But since it isn't MK, that means that if I fail at this I'm not only losing Cole but MK will probably never forgive me since 'just spend time with him so he doesn't lapse into a coma' sounds so stupid easy. But it helps more if we spend meaningful time together whatever that means, and right now I'm too nervous about screwing up worse to relax and open up. Plus, before I found all this out I did something that freaked Cole out even worse to try and protect him and he's worried about that. It's a big mess."
"Hm, I might here the difference when I'm looking for it. I just couldn't focus on that in the simulation and I didn't want after you put me through a wall," he said. "...which was hotter than it had any right to be, and I'm not entirely sure that isn't from Epsilon." Sometimes your tastes might get borrowed from someone else. "But I am pretty good at picking out distinctions, I just need to be paying attention."
"Really now? Now I'm interested if you've been doing other posturing to try and impress me," he said teasingly.
"Ah, fey. Yeah, that would do it, fey stuff always seems like bullshit," he said. "But I'm pretty sure you wouldn't lose MK. MK seems far more like the time to fall into a toxic, fucked up relationship to keep the people he wants close than to just leave them behind." There is certainly a vibe around MK. "What thing freaked him out?" He asked, reaching for one of Macaque's hands.
"Mm, I'm not surprised. Don't think I didn't register that you liked when I broke all that granite."
Macaque starts purring a bit, just to give Wash an example. (Also, it might be another thing that helps him relax.) It doesn't sound quite like a lion's purring, but definitely more wild and deeper than a housecat's.
"What, my fishing you out of that swimming pool when we first met didn't impress you sufficiently? I'd better step up my game." Since we're teasing here.
"You really have a perfect read on MK, not that I'm surprised. But I don't think he'd leave me behind, I just think he'd keep me around and resent me the whole time. And as for what I did..."
He hesitates.
"In the simulation, someone showed up. A power broker of a sort from Cole's world, someone who pulls strings about the happenings there. Cole can't remember most of what happened in the last little while because of more fey bullshit, so he asked this guy, who's a fey himself, to fill in some blanks. Started talking about how Cole died again, and a bunch of stuff that freaked me out. So the guy offered me a deal. He is limited as far as the influence he can have over their world's inhabitants because of rules he'd bound by, but I'm not bound by those rules. It's a deal that would let me go to their world to help Cole, try and keep him alive."
"I know fey deals are sketchy as hell, but what he wanted from me had loopholes so big you could drive a train through them. I can't see every angle since it's not my world, but it was the only thing I could do for Cole. He had me over a barrel and we both knew it. So I agreed. Cole pretty much lost it. I didn't know it then, but he has a history of not being able to stop bad things from happening to people he loves. I don't know if knowing that would have changed my mind, but it's done now. All I can do is make the best of it."
"Yeah. I mean, I've been attracted to tough people, but Epsilon definitely liked his partners who could put him through a wall," he said with an amused chuckle. Just gonna call out Church.
"To be fair, Feather is the one who saw most of that," he said. "Though she does think you're cool, so there is that."
"MK isn't hard to read, once you get past the playing dumb thing to lighten the mood. That sort of thing has been barely white noise for me for a while, so the rest is pretty clear," he said. "I don't think he'd even go for resentment. Probably just be heartbroken."
There is a long pause at that because oh boy. Oh boy. "Honestly, I really can't blame Cole for freaking out. Even without the trauma, that would be a nightmare to watch go down."
"You in the habit of making terrible deals when feeling cornered about helping yoru people?"
Epsilon's partners? Can AIs... well, apparently so. "Admittedly, just because I can do that doesn't mean it's what usually happens. I'm a sucker for encouragement is all that is." MK wants to be bound, he binds. Red wants him to bite, he bites. And Wukong can choose from a vast menu that's only limited by his imagination.
"--Ah, right." It had been unnerving as hell at the time, but now it's just a thing that happens, it's whatever. It's part of Wash and part of Choco, he's okay with it. Even MK has a whole other persona.
Macaque groans softly and scrubs at his face. "You get that heartbroken isn't better, right?"
Anyway, the meat of this is the deal he made. Macaque chuckles humorlessly. "I do have that habit, yes. Usually less deals and more just... choices. Even when I know it's not the best idea. The last time I did that, I was killed. The time before that, we launched a rebellion against Heaven. I'm better about it now than I used to be, but not by much, evidently. You don't want to know what sort of bullshit I'd sign up for if it had been Choco or Donnie instead of Cole."
Its what happens when AIs are copied from people. Also robot bodies. Or mental simulations. Its a whole thing. "Is that what you call biting your ear? Encouragement?" He asked. "Though its not surprising. I can see you having a praise kink."
"It can be hard to track, I know. I don't usually share memories with Feather, it takes a while to untangle and communicate that effectively. Same with Ai-chan and Epsilon," he said. "If its a variation of 'me,' then I remember."
He hummed. "Resentment is combative. You can work with heartbroken, if you're brave enough."
He sighed. "Choco would have been in despair, and Donnie would have been incredibly mad. Donnie likes to find those tough solutions, its admirable. And Choco hates the whole kidnap thing and its reeking of that same lack of agency." He considers his hand a few moments, running his fingers over Macaque's.
"I don't know if you can get out of a fey deal once its made, but just so you don't make any other highly questionable deals, Choco and I can offer another solution when it comes to getting to other worlds," he said. "In Kyriakos, Epsilon had a teammate. Roxy Lalonde. In short, she's a creation void god. She steals nothingness from things to make them exist, objects, concepts, information, and she's intimately familiar with the space between universes. She's been helping Choco and I for a few years now when it comes to solving issues like being in the wrong universe."
"Biting my ear hurt, and I reacted accordingly. Breaking the granite was more typical for what I do when encouraged. It was what you were saying and sounding like."
He watches Wash with his hand, not moving his own very much, just letting Wash do as he likes with it. "I'd rather avoid the whole thing altogether and make Cole better, if it's all the same to you. I've caused enough heartbreak in MK. In my defense, though, some of those were less a result of terrible choices I made and either terrible circumstances courtesy of the Lady Bone Demon eating me from the inside, or just differences in how we do things that took a while to work through." The brain surgery thing, that could definitely be called a result of terrible choices.
It's sobering to think of Choco or Donnie being upset that he tried to save their life. Isn't it just as much a lack of agency to stand there and be forced to do nothing while someone you love is in grave danger?
"I'm not sure if I can get out of the deal," he says quietly. He's not sure he wants to. "If it helps, the guy promised to use every power he has available to make sure I got out of there safely. He took a liking to me, so that probably also factors in. When I first walked in there all he wanted to do was kiss me, and I said I'd do it since he's the one who restored Cole to life, and it was just a kiss." No big deal.
He considers this information about their friend. "Maybe. It would be good to get in there and at least learn more about what I'm dealing with. Max would probably let me out of the deal if I play my cards right, explain that I was just done having my feelings entirely rearranged when I did that. Which is perfectly true, they still kick up weirdly now and then. He said that he wanted to hear me sing, he seemed lonely. It wouldn't hurt to ask if he'd modify the deal."
"I don't want to hurt Cole, I just like my chances of survival better than his. Especially with Max's protection."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Good, then. He trusts Wash to answer honestly, and he didn't feel used before that one time. "No, I don't count evil bitch manifestations." What happened in his heart is fuzzy as hell, but he knows she was in there. He has a vague memory of that piece of him taunting Wash and Wukong. "Feel free to use her as much as you want, she deserves it. And it's the only way to avoid serious problems."
"And I'm not confused anymore, so we're good." He bites into the peach, expecting and receiving a flood of memories. "I trust you, but I'll look out for myself. I promise." And he's already been getting better about it, so.
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Repeats a few times.
It is a relief to know he hasn't royally fucked with Macaque's head. He was honest. He didn't want to have a relationship with lies and manipulations being apart of it. He's lived through that far too much to seek it out.
"Though really, if you did have some selfish motives, you could just ask for a date," he said. He's just saying.
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
And then.
Macaque slowly finishes chewing his bite of peach and tosses the pit into another portal. (Where do these end up? It's a mystery.) Then he laughs softly. He was doing it again, wasn't he? Assuming things when given the slightest bit of ambiguity. Same as he did with Wukong.
"You sure know how to keep a guy on his toes." But he gets why things had to happen in that order. Getting into something like a date with 'I might screw with your head' up in the air would be bad.
"I found a cat cafe we could go eat at sometime, if you want to." Macaque will have cats all over him, but whatever.
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
He chuckles and opens his eyes. "Well, now you just know the way to a guy's heart," he said.
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
"Whenever things are okay for you, then. I know it's delicate with Wylan, so I can wait. But I know that I certainly need a break from being Cole's pillar for a while now and then, so I can imagine it might be good for you, too." To get out sometimes. Otherwise this stuff will bury you.
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
He nods. "I do. I love him, I wouldn't have adopted him if I didn't, but he has a lot of father issues and it can be hard to take when he stops actually seeing me and I can't get his eyes to clear." He has enough difficulties seeing him as himself and when one of those other people is actually a terrible father, it gets to be...
A lot.
"Hopefully it'll be easier to help when there are more people in his life he can depend on without that issue. So breaks will help, keep me from messing up."
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
"A couple of days, then? Or whatever, you decide. Cole insisted that I keep my own schedule, I just need to make sure I get enough time with him, and I'm doing that, so I'm flexible."
He reaches over to squeeze Wash's shoulder, making sure that Wash sees it coming (if he doesn't see it, or flinches away, Macaque puts his hand back down).
"I sort of want to say that afterwards I'll take you somewhere to nap for a while. I'd be able to hear if Wylan needed you, so maybe you could get some rest knowing that. And my shadow blankets are the most comfortable thing in the world to sleep on." If he does say so himself.
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
"A couple of days. If we can't get Wylan into some place more stable after this long, we're going to need to get professionals anyway. Donnie, Eve, nor Lott are equipped or in place to help, and then there's the time of year for Choco and if I crack with him alone, it's going to set everything back to the start. He can't even take me being the Soldier and that's the healthiest thing I can default to when I'm not coping well. He either needs to be in a better place, or I'll need actual licensed back up." He doesn't know how Wylan would react to professionals, all things considered.
But he already hates himself enough for the situation.
If he adds something else to the pile, its going to be two fires instead of one.
"...you can teleport us in an instant," he said. And god. God, does a nap sound good.
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
--Oh, speaking of a couple of days.
"That reminds me. It won't be long until the kids are in season, and you'll need someplace else to be. I have a house right on the edge of the Autumn segment, it where I lived before Cole. I keep it clean and stocked... like a safehouse. Plenty of space for you two, nice and quiet, and nobody knows about it aside from Choco, and now you. I'd like to keep it that way, if you get my drift." Please don't tell people that he has this place just in case he needs to run away. "Cole can't take knowing that right now, so I need it quiet. But its yours if you want it, until the kids are through with the surge in instincts."
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
"So even if he's trying to be dangerously reckless, we wouldn't be too late." Because that is the biggest concern. Wylan gets self destructive in seemingly an instant. Its why he's so worried.
He looks surprised at that. He understands the value of a safe house. They weren't things to be given out without serious consideration. "Are you sure?"
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
"Even if he's being dangerously reckless, we can get to him before there's any harm. Even if he's just panicking from his own thoughts. I've got my ears on him, and I won't hesitate if there's the slightest chance there could be a problem. I've got him. Come here and rest." He pats his shoulder.
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
"Hm, at this rate, I might think you're just looking for a cuddle partner," he said. He sighed and looked out at the lake. "...it is getting close to the point where Choco is going to get tempted to use a sleep spell on me."
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
He scoots a bit closer. "Come on, you can't have a better offer than this. You can be sure he's okay, and you'll be better able to keep him that way if you're rested. And I'm terribly comfortable to cuddle, so there's no downside."
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
"Your gut is really soft," he said and let's himself lean against Macaque. "Even on your back. Kind of thought it'd be matted, trapped under your fur." Instead it was stupidly soft, even if he was near tearing it out over proper petting.
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
And he huffs at the comment. "Grooming is important to monkeys, I take good care of it. Especially at this time of year, when I'll be starting to shed my undercoat. I can't stand feeling dirty or making a mess so I'm pretty meticulous about it."
He opens a portal and grabs a shadow blanket. "See if this is comfortable to you, it might help you relax." It feels like a refreshing breeze in a warm shade, soft in a very different way then Macaque's fur.
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
He reaches out to take the blanket. Running his hands over it at first, to get used to the feeling. Touch starvation from power armor takes very careful adjustments to new things. "Magic really is wild."
"What is going on with Cole?" He asked as he adjusted. It takes a bit for him to wide down irregardless.
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
"There's a lot it can do, yes. I've been working with my shadows a long time, so I had a lot of time to experiment." He will let Wash use the blanket or not as he likes.
About Cole, he sighs. "Long story short, part of the way he works is that he needs a pillar to keep him grounded to reality. Usually it's been an object, but in this case it's me. Seeing me all messed up wasn't great for his grip on reality, so he's breaking. If I don't spend enough time with him, he'll get worse, fall into a coma." It's a little more complicated than that, but that's the short version. "As you can imagine, I feel like shit about that. All I want is to fix this, but I also want to run since that's my usual coping. I think that's why he insists that I take breaks, he knows me."
Not so far off from the Wylan situation, thematically.
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
"Magic probably doesn't exist in my world. Some Forerunner stuff seems like it, but nothing definite. Still getting used to all it can do," he said. Shifting the blanket to include Macaque as well. We cuddling properly here.
"...that does seem ill advised to attach something like that to a person. Sure, they could defend themselves unlike an object, but relationships are...complicated. Even one that's been steadfast for years would be risky," he said. Even without ill intent. Sudden vanishings, death, just drama. A lot can happen.
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Macaque will also snuggle under the blanket, it's his magic so of course it comforts him. "I make every effort to impress people I want to go on dates with, what can I say?" It was more that he wanted Wash to relax enough to rest, but he's keeping it light.
"He didn't choose me as his pillar, it just happened. He has limited influence over what it is, he just got stuck with me. I would have thought it'd be MK, since he's got the temperament for it, but he can't be because fey rules are total horseshit. But since it isn't MK, that means that if I fail at this I'm not only losing Cole but MK will probably never forgive me since 'just spend time with him so he doesn't lapse into a coma' sounds so stupid easy. But it helps more if we spend meaningful time together whatever that means, and right now I'm too nervous about screwing up worse to relax and open up. Plus, before I found all this out I did something that freaked Cole out even worse to try and protect him and he's worried about that. It's a big mess."
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
"Really now? Now I'm interested if you've been doing other posturing to try and impress me," he said teasingly.
"Ah, fey. Yeah, that would do it, fey stuff always seems like bullshit," he said. "But I'm pretty sure you wouldn't lose MK. MK seems far more like the time to fall into a toxic, fucked up relationship to keep the people he wants close than to just leave them behind." There is certainly a vibe around MK. "What thing freaked him out?" He asked, reaching for one of Macaque's hands.
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Macaque starts purring a bit, just to give Wash an example. (Also, it might be another thing that helps him relax.) It doesn't sound quite like a lion's purring, but definitely more wild and deeper than a housecat's.
"What, my fishing you out of that swimming pool when we first met didn't impress you sufficiently? I'd better step up my game." Since we're teasing here.
"You really have a perfect read on MK, not that I'm surprised. But I don't think he'd leave me behind, I just think he'd keep me around and resent me the whole time. And as for what I did..."
He hesitates.
"In the simulation, someone showed up. A power broker of a sort from Cole's world, someone who pulls strings about the happenings there. Cole can't remember most of what happened in the last little while because of more fey bullshit, so he asked this guy, who's a fey himself, to fill in some blanks. Started talking about how Cole died again, and a bunch of stuff that freaked me out. So the guy offered me a deal. He is limited as far as the influence he can have over their world's inhabitants because of rules he'd bound by, but I'm not bound by those rules. It's a deal that would let me go to their world to help Cole, try and keep him alive."
"I know fey deals are sketchy as hell, but what he wanted from me had loopholes so big you could drive a train through them. I can't see every angle since it's not my world, but it was the only thing I could do for Cole. He had me over a barrel and we both knew it. So I agreed. Cole pretty much lost it. I didn't know it then, but he has a history of not being able to stop bad things from happening to people he loves. I don't know if knowing that would have changed my mind, but it's done now. All I can do is make the best of it."
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
"To be fair, Feather is the one who saw most of that," he said. "Though she does think you're cool, so there is that."
"MK isn't hard to read, once you get past the playing dumb thing to lighten the mood. That sort of thing has been barely white noise for me for a while, so the rest is pretty clear," he said. "I don't think he'd even go for resentment. Probably just be heartbroken."
There is a long pause at that because oh boy. Oh boy. "Honestly, I really can't blame Cole for freaking out. Even without the trauma, that would be a nightmare to watch go down."
"You in the habit of making terrible deals when feeling cornered about helping yoru people?"
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
"--Ah, right." It had been unnerving as hell at the time, but now it's just a thing that happens, it's whatever. It's part of Wash and part of Choco, he's okay with it. Even MK has a whole other persona.
Macaque groans softly and scrubs at his face. "You get that heartbroken isn't better, right?"
Anyway, the meat of this is the deal he made. Macaque chuckles humorlessly. "I do have that habit, yes. Usually less deals and more just... choices. Even when I know it's not the best idea. The last time I did that, I was killed. The time before that, we launched a rebellion against Heaven. I'm better about it now than I used to be, but not by much, evidently. You don't want to know what sort of bullshit I'd sign up for if it had been Choco or Donnie instead of Cole."
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
"It can be hard to track, I know. I don't usually share memories with Feather, it takes a while to untangle and communicate that effectively. Same with Ai-chan and Epsilon," he said. "If its a variation of 'me,' then I remember."
He hummed. "Resentment is combative. You can work with heartbroken, if you're brave enough."
He sighed. "Choco would have been in despair, and Donnie would have been incredibly mad. Donnie likes to find those tough solutions, its admirable. And Choco hates the whole kidnap thing and its reeking of that same lack of agency." He considers his hand a few moments, running his fingers over Macaque's.
"I don't know if you can get out of a fey deal once its made, but just so you don't make any other highly questionable deals, Choco and I can offer another solution when it comes to getting to other worlds," he said. "In Kyriakos, Epsilon had a teammate. Roxy Lalonde. In short, she's a creation void god. She steals nothingness from things to make them exist, objects, concepts, information, and she's intimately familiar with the space between universes. She's been helping Choco and I for a few years now when it comes to solving issues like being in the wrong universe."
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
He watches Wash with his hand, not moving his own very much, just letting Wash do as he likes with it. "I'd rather avoid the whole thing altogether and make Cole better, if it's all the same to you. I've caused enough heartbreak in MK. In my defense, though, some of those were less a result of terrible choices I made and either terrible circumstances courtesy of the Lady Bone Demon eating me from the inside, or just differences in how we do things that took a while to work through." The brain surgery thing, that could definitely be called a result of terrible choices.
It's sobering to think of Choco or Donnie being upset that he tried to save their life. Isn't it just as much a lack of agency to stand there and be forced to do nothing while someone you love is in grave danger?
"I'm not sure if I can get out of the deal," he says quietly. He's not sure he wants to. "If it helps, the guy promised to use every power he has available to make sure I got out of there safely. He took a liking to me, so that probably also factors in. When I first walked in there all he wanted to do was kiss me, and I said I'd do it since he's the one who restored Cole to life, and it was just a kiss." No big deal.
He considers this information about their friend. "Maybe. It would be good to get in there and at least learn more about what I'm dealing with. Max would probably let me out of the deal if I play my cards right, explain that I was just done having my feelings entirely rearranged when I did that. Which is perfectly true, they still kick up weirdly now and then. He said that he wanted to hear me sing, he seemed lonely. It wouldn't hurt to ask if he'd modify the deal."
"I don't want to hurt Cole, I just like my chances of survival better than his. Especially with Max's protection."
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping
Re: A couple days after the Questionable Coping