castaside | Seasons Inbox

"Mm, we can." He smiles and leans in closer to MK.

"Tell me about the courtnapping. Apparently Red wants me to do that one day so I need the basics. Details are between you and him, of course." He doesn't mind TMI especially, it's just not necessary. If MK had done it with Wukong, then Macaque would actively not want to know.

"Sure. Red Son made a house for us. So you'll want a space that's for just you and him. Also you want to make sure it's all nice and safe. And fill it with things they like and you will like to do together," MK explained.

"It's about showing you want them around, can provide for them, and just bonding. In a way you two share. So I think it's kinda open like that," MK said with a nod. That's how he understood it anyway.

"Does that help?"

"It does, I guess. Courtnapping, courting gifts, it's all antiquated foolishness to me. I already gave him the most personal thing I have to give when I made that choker. But he insisted, and it's important to him, so I do what I'm told." AKA Red Son couldn't be talked down.

"Please tell me that you don't want anything like that. Planning it all once is going to be the death of me. I don't mind some theatrics but usually it's nothing formal."

MK chuckled. "My Prince is all traditional like that," he nodded. "It is old school but it means a lot to him. No, you don't gotta do anything like that for me. Dates, cuddles, and just being together. The usual modern stuff. You dressing up all fancy for our dates is more than enough to court me."

"Thanks." Although, a thought comes to him.

"I... might offer a gift to Wukong before I do to Red. He's still so unsure about where he stands with me and I wouldn't want to leave any doubt. So if, in light of that, you'd want one too... I wouldn't want to give the mistaken impression that I have a favorite." Even though... well. It's not quite as clear-cut as a favorite? They're all special to him in their own ways, and he wouldn't want MK to feel like the odd one out.

"You're welcome," MK said with a happy smile. He nodded along. A gift to Wukong made sense. First too. At least to MK. He could get it. Wukong had a similar hold on him too. Not favorite but a different kind of draw than the one he felt with the others. All of them were special and good in their own ways, all different.

"You're making me the jacket. So you've already got mine planned. And I get it. Different flavors and all that." There wasn't a sense of worry or jealousy from MK right now. He just smiled and stayed close.

"Very well, if that's all you want." Maybe Macaque will come up with something to make it more special. A coat isn't a very romantic gift, is it?

He'll have to think on it.

"If you want to give me more, that's fine. If not, that's fine too. All I want is being with you. I love you, you love me. That's enough," MK said softly and followed it with a soft little purr.

"It's true, I do." He peels away enough to look at MK, smile, and give him a soft kiss.

MK looks up. He returns the small kiss, cupping Macaque's cheek as they kiss. His thumb brushes over Macaque's cheek.

Macaque lingers for a long moment, then pulls away. "Shame we have things to talk about, or I'd try and convince you into not talking for a while." They have a streak to maintain.

MK let Macaque pull away but not go too far. He keeps a hold of his shoulders and nods.

"Well maybe after we talk we could do something like that?" MK wants to maintain that streak. It had been so long for him it felt like. He missed it so much.

"So...you wanna talk about home first?"

"We can see where things take us, sure." He won't promise he'll be in the mood after they talk about MK sacrificing himself, but the odds aren't bad.

"You want to tell me the long story about why you sacrificed yourself and why you didn't talk to anyone about it?"

That was a way to put it. And it's true. MK knows it is. He nods and takes a deep breath to center himself.

"Okay. So first, you, me, and Wukong got put on trial for damaging the Pillar of Heaven, I told you that. Nezha showed up while we were in jail and we found out about the colored stones and that we needed to find them. So we broke out of jail and escaped. Went on the run from the celestial realm. You...you got caught saving me and Wukong from Li Jing and you ended up in his pagoda."

Another breath.

"Then we went to the Temple of Nuwa and the Vermillion Bird showed me a vision of what had to be done to save the world. It was me going into the pillar with the stones. Everyone was telling me not to but I did. I wasn't sure what it was but Monkey King said that no one knew what the future told. And I remembered what you said. I could choose my own path. And I was going to. But the more stones we found, the more I felt this pull. I could sense them. They were made for me. Or I guess I was made for them. We got four of them and Li Jing showed up. I realized the last tone was in the pagoda. Because the Jade Emperor was the last uh and first guardian. His power was the last stone," MK swallowed.

"So I jumped into the pagoda and so did everyone else. This demon was in there and showed me when Nuwa made me. That she made me to be the sacrifice. And...the Lady Bone Demon was in my head but it wasn't her, it was like something the demon was doing but also my own mind? And I realized then that, well I thought, the only way everyone else survives...is if I don't. And that was when I made up my mind. That I was going to do it. Fulfill my destiny."

Made him to be the sacrifice, huh? This does not improve Macaque's impression of deities in the slightest.

"And you said nothing to anyone else, because you knew they'd try to stop you." Macaque sighs. "Kiddo, do you really think if you sacrificed yourself, everyone could just go on like it didn't happen?"

MK swallowed. He didn't talk about it because he knew they would try to stop him. He nodded. He knew that part.

"I...I thought I was doing the right thing. That saving you all, saving the world, was worth it. I wanted to leave the world a little bit better than I found it. I know I screwed up. I didn't think there was another choice. There wasn't a choice to me."

He hugs MK closer. Just so there's no impression that he's beyond forgiveness.

"If you thought it was the right thing, why couldn't you tell people and convince them? At least let people say goodbye."

"You should have seen Wukong when he got back. He was so broken. I can't imagine anyone else was better off until you returned alive."

MK hugs back tight and snuggles closer. His heart picks up a little from just the emotions right now.

"Because I knew I couldn't. I couldn't convince anyone. I knew I couldn't..." He nodded. He remembered hearing Wukong when he went into the pillar.

"I-I know. He tried to stop me. He tried to save me even though I was trying to save him..."

Wukong tried to stop him... Macaque's brain hangs on the word "tried".

"How did you get past him?" Did MK go monkey mode and hurt Wukong?

He keeps hanging onto MK even as his stomach is full of knots.

MK goes quiet. He knows it isn't going to lie. He can't do that to Macaque. The pause is MK considering, should he pull away first? Would Macaque want to even hold him after he admits what he did?

He promises Macaque he could pull away or push him away if he needed. MK doesn't pull back and starts talking.

"We fought. Wukong and I. I lost. He chained me down. And he said he was going to go into the pillar instead. I...I felt like it had to be me. I had to stop him...so I used the circlet. I stole the spell from Li Jing. So only I can activate it now. That's the last thing Wukong remembers. Me using the circlet and walking into the pillar."

MK holds onto Macaque but if he pulls away or pushes MK away, he won't resist.

He used the circlet.

Macaque's arms stay around MK, partially because it feels impossible to move them. Macaque remembers how he'd felt seeing that thing on Wukong's head, reading about what that monk did to torture him with it. And MK had done that.

But he felt he was saving Wukong. Saving everyone.

Is that a good enough justification?

...It is. Of course it is. Because it's MK, and because Macaque has learned by now that it's not worth throwing away the people he loves over disagreements that expand into huge blowout fights. (He might have, before his heart game. He might have refused to forgive MK, like he never will forgive Tang Sanzang. Now, he can't bear to think of it.)

Macaque gives MK a squeeze. It's weak from his numb shock, but it's there. "Oh, kiddo." He knows that whatever he's feeling, MK's guilt has to be so much heavier. "I know it's not my place to forgive or not, but if it helps... I do. I forgive you. And I know he does too."

MK waited and did his best to just be here now, in this moment. The words and the weak squeeze came and so did MK's tears. He felt awful for what he did. Wukong forgave him so easily because he came back. Macaque was forgiving him too, even though he hurt Monkey King like that. It was a surprise but one he wouldn't doubt. He knew what this felt like on the other side. He might not be ready to forgive himself yet, but they did. He would accept that. He'd asked Red Son to do the same.

He would have to live with it.

"I never want to use it again. I won't l-let anyone do it. Only I can and I won't...no one here. I won't let them. It was off w-when I came out of the pillar. It was gone. It went away. I promise I won't ever use it again. I won't." As long as he was in his right mind, he would never do that to Wukong ever again.

Part of Macaque forgiving MK here and now is because he saw Red Son use the circlet on Wukong before too, although it was really a fake Wukong, and his feelings hadn't been working at the time. After all he's seen and been through, he can understand that very few things are black and white.

But MK will have to live with it, that much is true.

Macaque hugs MK again, tighter this time. "I know you wouldn't use it willingly again. But... sometimes the effects from quests or whatever might make you not in your right mind. Red has a way to remove it, and if Wukong will allow it, maybe we could try that? I know they're not seeing eye to eye right now, but Red was willing to help when I told him that Wukong came back wearing the thing, and Wukong might agree if it's a matter of your peace of mind."

MK still had no idea about the fake Wukong and he circlet. No clue what all happened in that Heart Game. Probably for the best he never knows. He clung tighter and snuggled as close as he could. To the comfort and kindness of that forgiveness. MK looked up and wiped his tears on his own sleeve.

"I can try to talk to him. A-About letting Red Son help. I...I'll try. I can't make him. We both know no one can make Monkey King do anything he doesn't want to."

Macaque reaches up and helps wipe MK's tears away.

"No, he's all sorts of stubborn when he wants to be. But if you ask, and I ask, then maybe he'll let Red help. I'm sure it's not easy for you to see that reminder all the time, and I know it's not easy for me."

He hugs MK closer again. "Do we need to talk about you doing dangerous things that you'd never let the people you love do in a thousand years?" Or do you get it already.

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