"It seemed pretty damn clear to me that he meant to stop talking to him about all my problems unless I was ready to take his advice. But most of the time I'm not looking for his advice, I'm looking for someone to listen. So we stopped talking about all that. And then we stopped talking about everything else."
"I don't really know how to fix it. If I even can."
Hearing that makes MK's eyes go wide for a moment.
"He told me he said or I guess meant just me problems. Cole says he and I are similar. I'm kinda like a Lost. I don't fully get it but he does get me and I get him without really having to think about it. But whatever it is, just me or any problem, maybe start there? Ask him if he can listen and let you talk through whatever it is you want to talk through? I mean, that's my idea. I guess you won't know if you can fix it unless you both try."
There's a sad thought that enters MK's mind. He doesn't voice it but it's there. Still, he's sure Macaque would want to fix this rift between him and Cole. Or they would want to work together to fix it.
"Because Cole doesn't really talk about things when he's hurting. That's how he is. And...maybe you're both waiting for the other to reach out? Has he not reached out at all?"
"He hasn't. The one and only time we had a real conversation between then and now was when I went to go find him and eventually broke down and lost it a little. In a sad way not in a mad way. I flat out told him that I'm an infant when it comes to managing feelings and I don't know what I'm doing."
"I don't understand how that and "he misses me" are in any way compatible."
"I do. He misses you and misses talking to you. But you feel he doesn't want you to talk to him at all and you told him you're not good with managing feelings which...I mean, I don't see it since you offered to help me deal with my jealousy. I don't know what he's thinking or feeling exactly. We haven't talked about you and him for a bit. We talked when we broke up for a day. He did tell me what he told you was to not feel obligated to come back to his house every night when he wanted you to be able to stay the night where you wanted, when you wanted. And that you felt that meant he was pushing you away completely."
"That was the most he said recently when we talked."
"And I told him I wanted to stay, but he basically made me promise to stay with my kids."
"I don't know what to do about this. It all felt really clear. Don't bug him about my problems, stay with my kids. So I've been doing that."
"I've thought about approaching him a lot, but every time I do I think that he probably doesn't want me to based on what he said. I can't be bringing up my troubles to him if it's going to hurt him."
"Maybe start less with you both talking to either one about problems and just doing something together? Anything? A movie night? Or going for a walk together? Grooming the rabbits? Just spending time together could be a start."
"My Warrior. You two got each other before. I don't know if you can find your way back there or move forward to something similar or not but...you won't know if you neither of you try. Him or you. It's that or you both hang on waiting for the other and that sounds awful. Your room is still there, in the rabbit house."
"So Cole needs to reach out, you do, you both keep waiting, or you say goodbye to each other. I don't know what is going to happen but it's one of those three."
"After my heart game, in that simulation, a guy named Max came around. He offered me a deal to go to Cole's world and help him and his friends. He even promised to make sure I was safe all the while. But Cole told me that there was no other outcome for that other than me getting killed. That he didn't want my help. So I got the deal revoked."
That, and he's trying to think of a time when Cole came to him with one of his problems. He's coming up very blank.
"Oh. Sharp teeth? Different color eyes? He sings at the Dealer's Den sometimes with this woman in a white dress and black hair. Everything Cole's told me about his world makes it sound scarier than ours. Like the Jade Emperor is a robot or something and it's super evil. I know he'd be scared you'd get hurt. Even if Max said he could protect you."
"But I'm also sitting here trying to come up with a single time he came to me for help and coming up empty. The only time I think I ever helped him was communicating with his big rabbit, and he didn't ask. He flinched, actually. But I did it anyway."
"Maybe we were just never as close as I thought we were."
"He flinched when I tried to touch him too when he came back. Something reset his touch aversion back then. Something that happened in his world. And he asked you originally to help him with his nightmares. To cuddle him when he was scared, right?"
"But in order for you to cuddle Cole, he'd have to start it. He was touch adverse when he got here. Like from the get go. I remember because I couldn't touch him when I flew his stuff and him home on the cloud when we first met. So him starting it was him asking for your help because he trusted you."
"Well, he isn't. Wasn't. In any case, he didn't ask. Didn't ask for me to move in, didn't ask for post-nightmare comfort. Maybe he would accept my help, but he never asked for it."
"So you just moved into his home, his safe space, without his permission or anything? Like him going, I like having you here? I think this is a good idea?"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: After dream event
"I don't really know how to fix it. If I even can."
Re: After dream event
"He told me he said or I guess meant just me problems. Cole says he and I are similar. I'm kinda like a Lost. I don't fully get it but he does get me and I get him without really having to think about it. But whatever it is, just me or any problem, maybe start there? Ask him if he can listen and let you talk through whatever it is you want to talk through? I mean, that's my idea. I guess you won't know if you can fix it unless you both try."
There's a sad thought that enters MK's mind. He doesn't voice it but it's there. Still, he's sure Macaque would want to fix this rift between him and Cole. Or they would want to work together to fix it.
Re: After dream event
"Besides, if he misses me then why doesn't he say something? It's like we're just always walking past each other."
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
"I don't understand how that and "he misses me" are in any way compatible."
Re: After dream event
"That was the most he said recently when we talked."
Re: After dream event
"I don't know what to do about this. It all felt really clear. Don't bug him about my problems, stay with my kids. So I've been doing that."
"I've thought about approaching him a lot, but every time I do I think that he probably doesn't want me to based on what he said. I can't be bringing up my troubles to him if it's going to hurt him."
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
"You said it yourself, you get him and he gets you. Maybe I just don't get him."
Re: After dream event
"My Warrior. You two got each other before. I don't know if you can find your way back there or move forward to something similar or not but...you won't know if you neither of you try. Him or you. It's that or you both hang on waiting for the other and that sounds awful. Your room is still there, in the rabbit house."
"So Cole needs to reach out, you do, you both keep waiting, or you say goodbye to each other. I don't know what is going to happen but it's one of those three."
Re: After dream event
"He wants to help, but he doesn't want my help. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to react to that other than how I am."
It sounds like Macaque thinks they already said goodbye.
Re: After dream event
MK hears it and it hurts his heart.
Re: After dream event
That, and he's trying to think of a time when Cole came to him with one of his problems. He's coming up very blank.
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
"But I'm also sitting here trying to come up with a single time he came to me for help and coming up empty. The only time I think I ever helped him was communicating with his big rabbit, and he didn't ask. He flinched, actually. But I did it anyway."
"Maybe we were just never as close as I thought we were."
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event
Re: After dream event