castaside | [Heart Game] From the ashes we can build

"MK, are you okay?!" Red Son yelped, noticing his state after he pulled out of the paper memory, rushing over to look him over.

MK looked up sharply. Oh he had to look like a fucking mess right now. He made sure to take a step back.

"I'm fine! It's not mine. It's...don't touch the blood. It's uh. It's heavy. I'm fine. I'm alright. Promise."

"You-" Red Son flared up and huffed. "You clumsy buffoon, get over here," he said, irritation from worry, and he holds out his hands, letting fire gather. "Let me dry you, that'll help the blood flake off. Did you grab clothes from the first room?"

Buffoon? Well, true but still. MK approached closer and checked his back.

"Uh...no?" Shit. He totally forgot clothes. He grabbed literally EVERYTHING ELSE! What was with this guy?

"I could make new ones, I guess." MK had plenty of hair to use. As the blood dries, he'll just start taking off his clothes. Not like anyone else was in here. Then pull out some hairs and poof! New clothes. Though his bandana is all gross. He'll pull the shadow one out of his hoodie pocket and put that on his head instead. Then try and shake the blood off said kitty hoodie.

"Still need this one. Just in case. Thanks."

Red Son huffs again. "I have clothes. It would be best you have something real, in case powers cut out. Wouldn't want to be left naked in front of an aggressive part of Macaque," he said, one hand extended to help dry MK as he reached into his bag to dig around for clothes.

Definitely not paying attention to blood splatter.

MK shaking out the blood gets you sprayed with a few drops of it. It's a particularly potent memory, nearly overwhelming.

You are Macaque, and you can't believe how awful you are.

Choco's heart game is heavy in your awareness as you prepare for you own. Endless hours meditating. Trying to fight the many distractions. Remembering Choco's pain, Epsilon's, and trying to get ready for everyone to feel yours in ways that make a seed of panic burst in your chest.

Trying to think past your realization that you're in love with Red Son, and trying to make that mesh with the fact that he loves MK more. But this isn't new; everyone that you love, loves MK more. It's just how it is. You can't blame them, the kid deserves it. But it hurts all the same, it yanks at the part of you that has only ever wanted to be loved for who you are.

--You're getting lost in thought, and you need to stop. You need to protect them. You need to focus. You need to make sure that they don't come out of your heart as broken as you were when you came out of Choco's.

Even in trying to protect the people you love, you can't avoid being the worst, letting those dark feelings creep in. It's no wonder you'll never be first for them.

Red Son freezes when the blood splatters him and-

Why? Why was everyone like this?

"Why do all of you have zero confidence in the amount I feel for you?" He said. MK, Saya, and even Macaque. It wasn't a contest!

Oh no. The blood hit Red Son. And that was his response. MK can't blame him and just shrunk about three more inches in height.

"Um...I mean Saya and I worked through it. He can too. He just...needs time?"

Red Son looks at MK.

Sees how he's even shorter.

"You two talked about it, but do you still think there's a ranking system?" He asked.

MK looked back.

"No. It's different flavors but you love all the flavors. Saya is a flavor. I'm a flavor. Macaque is a flavor. But you love us all in that own special way. Saya helped me figure that out."

Leave it to MK to finally understand this open love through food.

Red Son paused.

And then...he snorted and laughed. "Did she really get you to understand it through food?"

Was that REALLY all it took?

"I mean...nooooo. She tried to use math. And...you know me. Math and my brain don't get along," MK said with a small shrug.

"But I kinda took what she was saying and uh...put it to food. I get food," MK said with a nod.

Red Son snorted. "I see. A shame, you both do love food," he said.

"...it is apt though. I get different things from your love," he said. "Its like saying what do I want more, my favorite dessert, or my favorite appetizer."

MK chuckled. "Yes but she hates making it." The noodle boy shrugged.

"Why not both? Or all three. You get your favorite appetizer, your favorite noodles, and then your favorite dessert. Then you're all worn out." He winked.

Red Son's hair crackles at that. "Yes. Well. That IS the idea. See, you're just a well balanced meal!"

MK grinned at the fire crackling.

"We can talk more about that when we're out of here. Because this place? Not the place. Alright. I'll get the sack. Then you get the bottle? Then we'll figure out what to put in the void."

"Yes, yes, all right," he said, a hand over his fancy, the other waving in the air. Before he goes to pick up the bottle.

MK went over to grab the empty sack!

You get the sense of a life built on memories, more painful than not. Of working and working clay soil until it turns arable, then using that pain to grow crops. Meager yes, but yours. You cherish them and you need them, but--

But all the same, sometimes you want to forget. You wonder if it wouldn't be better for yourself, for everyone you love, if you vanished. So you couldn't hurt them again. They deserve not to ever be hurt again, and that's not a promise you can make.

You hate that feeling. You refuse to entertain it. But it's there, and it sickens you.

MK shook with the emotions. They were so sad. So hurt. And yet MK resonated with them even a little. Not wanting to hurt people anymore. To stay away and keep them safe. He hugged that sack to him. He looked over to Red Son.

"...I think...you should feel this one. It's not happy but I think you should feel it too. It's important..."

Red Son looks over. "...ominous," he said, looking back at the bottle. Its not a great feeling from it either. But...

"Maybe you should feel this one too."

"Messed up tradies, I guess," MK took the bottle at the same time he put the sack in Red Son's hand. The feeling washed over him and he gasped. Oh. OH.

Realization was clear in MK's eyes. Big deep character defining realization.

"Holy Sage..."

"Messed up tradies," Red Son said, taking the sack and-

Oh.

Its.

Well, the feeling isn't REALLY a surprise. He's had moments like that, wondering if he's really worth all the trouble he seems to cause. Not quite to the point of wanting to disappear, he's not so selfless, but he can see the leap.

It hurts.

To think of him seeing himself like that.

But that is saddening, but MK seems to have made a realization. Good. He had hoped so. "Are you all right?"

MK looked at Red Son. He still had the bag clutched tight to his chest.

"...I'm his North Star. He said that. All these memories about his darkness. He's scared to go back to that. To how he was when...we first met? And way before he met Monkey King. I didn't fully...I didn't get it. I didn't get how important that was. I...Mei is right. Sometimes I am so dumb."

MK gently folded the sack and put it back down on the floor.

"He's counting on me to keep him from...sliding back. And I...I was such a jerk. I really fucked up, Red Son. I'm gonna make it up to him. I will. I just...oh wow I fucked up."

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