[Heart Game] From the ashes we can build

[castaside]

WHO: Macaque, Red Son, Wukong, Korone, Donnie, Cole, Wash
WHAT: Soul fixin'
WHEN: March 9
WHERE: Red Son's house, Blossomcrown
WARNINGS: will be marked

Comments

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[bluediligence]

[ Haha ... ha ... ]

Tell me about it. Wash-nii's heart really spoiled us with Feather, but even she couldn't be everywhere all the time.

[ She shifts just enough to pull out her blackberry, still without pulling away from him. ]

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[othellovonryan]

Feather is the you voice, right? Sounds about right. Very helpful and doing her best.

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[bluediligence]

Oh, you've met her? Mm.

[ taptaptap as she types up this message, and then she tilts the screen to show him the draft:

"Macchan, Donnie and I were wondering if you might be able to vibe check our emotional math? We're in a place that feels like loneliness. We've got two voids to fill and six memories/emotions to choose from:

- not wanting to feel or be alone
- rejection for being different
- feeling like you can't measure up but trying anyway
- grief and devastation
- burying yourself for others
- doing the unthinkable to prevent something worse

We're learning towards including the last one. And then maybe either the first or the third?" ]

How's that? We didn't mention the third, but thinking back, it could be an option ...

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[othellovonryan]

She's been mentioned. I haven't been in Wash's heart and I didn't encounter Wash in her mode.

Slippery slope bad. I don't think we should emphasize it. It's going to exist, no way we're using all these memories, but making it a foundation is bad.

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[bluediligence]

[ Ah! ]

It was the latter I was wondering about, mm. I'd know if you'd been in Wash-nii's heart. [ There is no way she wouldn't, one way or another. ]

Slippery slope is this one. [ She taps the second to last, "burying yourself for others." ] I could re-word it.

The feeling like he couldn't measure up was going back to the mountain to look after the monkeys.

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[othellovonryan]

Burying self is still really bad.

Nor is measuring up. Then it's like...the only way to NOT be lonely is dependent on feeling he's worth it for others?

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[bluediligence]

I'm not saying it isn't. That is, I agree with you, and it's on the list as more of a … full disclosure thing. "Here's all the things we found, and here's what we're leaning towards. Does this feel right to you?" … like that.

Mm. But … on second thought, you're prob'ly right about that one, too. Those feelings of being a failure and the last resort …

[ She winces. ]

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[othellovonryan]

...full disclosure is good.

But also when you make your self worth dependent on others, people can get...stuck in that.

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[bluediligence]

Honestly, Dokkun? It's such a same hat feeling for me, I don't know what I was thinking just now.

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[othellovonryan]

It's been a long day and you do it too.

[He does too, just he hyperfixates on certain people, SO REALLY.]

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[bluediligence]

I usually know better than to recommend it. Not that ... that's what we're doing exactly. But. Y'know.

[ Bonks her forehead lightly against him. ]

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[othellovonryan]

[He lightly bonks the top of her head.]

So the not depending self worth on other ones.

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[bluediligence]

Mm. Not - oh ...

[ She shows him this ]

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[othellovonryan]

....I mean. He isn't WRONG about the second one.

[Just. Hate it.]

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[bluediligence]

It's ... It's one of those formative memories. Foundational. I guess.

As much as I really, really, really wish it wasn't.

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[othellovonryan]

[Ngggggggh.]

....yes.

It is very formative.






It could actually change him not to use it, if he'll say it's important.

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[bluediligence]

I hate that he was made to feel that way. [ Quiet honesty, followed by a long swig of hot chocolate. She offers him the thermos. ]

But.

If it's what he needs, it's what we'll do. And then ... we'll be there for him. After.

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[othellovonryan]

I do too. [His own is sympathy.]

Not sure if its a need as just...a fact. [He presses his face against her shoulder.] A very....unavoidable fact.

So.

The rejection and pragmatism?

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[bluediligence]

...

Yeah. When you're ready.

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[othellovonryan]

[He takes a breath. He lets it out.]

Okay. Let's go. [He's going to pick up the burned piece of wood.]

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[bluediligence]

This one first. Then the painting. I -

I don't wanna go by myself.

[ +1 memory of helping to kill a brother into a void! ]

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[othellovonryan]

[INTO THE VOID.]

[Then grabbing Korone's hand.] Let's go.

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[castaside]

The burned wood goes into the void, and it closes.

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[bluediligence]

[ LET'S GO.

Back up the awful staircase and to the awful painting. ]

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door cw: immolation

[othellovonryan]

Do you want me to grab it this time?

[Wrapping an arm around her.]