castaside | Seasons Inbox

"I'd appreciate the room." Even though he has a room there already but maybe it'll be a fun themed situation.

Macaque chuckles at the eyebrow waggle.

"Not off, just different. Like I have a new pair of boots and they're not quite fitted to my feet yet and they need to be broken in."

"Then, hear me out. Perhaps after we unpack things, you and Wukong should go on a romantic getaway together? To be together, emotionally intimate, and see if the physical sparks when it's just you two together. At the location of your choice."

Hm, interesting.

"Not a bad idea. Assuming it's okay with Emeth." That's very important. "We've never done anything like that before. In the past our trips were always to bust something.

"If needed, I can babysit Emeth. Or that mage fellow. The Prince of Magic, she calls him," Lucifer nods. There are options.

"The King and his mate do need time alone. She will understand when explained, I'm sure. And it's something new to start the way forward. New and the two of you, hand in hand."

He gives Lucifer a squeeze.

"If it's okay with Emeth then I'll ask Wukong if he wants to go somewhere. And if physical stuff doesn't happen, or doesn't happen the way I seem to want it to... I suppose I'll just have to change the way I talk to myself about it. Remember that it's not a lack of love."

"--Because that's really the only way we showed affection back then." Rough sex was just about it since they were both emotionally constipated. "That's probably why it's bugging me so much."

"We'll get to that second party in a moment but there are ice creams and potions and such to increase libido in this world. You could both talk about using those for assistance, should Wukong be open to it," Lucifer smiles as he says it. Because this world has so much great sex stuff.

"For the second part. What other ways do you enjoy showing affection. With Wukong specifically and with others you might enjoy with him. And what does he do to show affection now that you find you like?"

"I don't think drugging him is the answer, even if he's got his eyes open about what's happening. It'll just make me feel bad. I want whatever happens between us to be authentic." If he has to have Wukong drugged to get what he wants, that's objectively terrible.

"Cuddling. Grooming. That sort of thing. With other people there's a lot of talking. In depth stuff that I've discovered I like getting into. Wukong isn't really interested in that, so I only try a little." A pause. "Mostly I don't bother. It's not his thing."

"I was thinking of it more like medication. Still, if it won't make you feel good then it isn't exploring," Lucifer nods.

"How does he show his disinterest with the in depth talking?"

"I think using chemical aids would make him feel like he's not enough for me as he is. And he really is. Loving Wukong is part of me, like my hands or my ears. I couldn't stop if I tried, and I certainly did try."

Hm. "He'll say one thing about the topic and then not really have much else to say about it. So I'm just kind of talking to myself because he's said everything that he feels he needs to say. Like I said, it's just not his thing. I just wish I could peek inside his head sometimes to get my curiosity satisfied."

"So much happened between us. And he doesn't ever really want to process it, so I'm stuck feeling like I don't know where I stand. But if I ask him, he'll just say it's in the past and I'm his mate now so what more needs to be said? But..."

"But it's fine. I just have to get used to the idea. It's my problem to solve."

Lucifer will drop the chemical aids topic. The romance is palpable between Wukong and Macaque.

"Communication in a relationship is a two way street. So let's delve into that a little more since it's an equal parts problem. You want to unpack with him. Which is what we're doing now to help that along. What's one thing you've tried to talk to him about that had made you feel this way?"

"Honestly? I can't remember. I don't really try it. There was one time he brought up our history, when I told him in anger that he drags everyone else into his mess. And I gave him a paragraph on my perspective, and he said that was all he needed to hear. I let it drop even though I think it would probably do us good -- or at least me -- to actually discuss why I lost my shit on him under the mountain."

"...But it's probably not that important in the long run."

"That sounds rather important. Let's dig into that then. What did you say and what more would you have liked to say?"

"He asked if I really thought he was doing everything for himself. And I told him that at the time I saw it that way, but we've both changed a lot and I don't see him that way anymore. I told him that my perception at the time was due to me refusing to ask for what I wanted and needed from him so it's not like he had the chance to give me what I wanted, since he couldn't have known what I wanted. Something like that."

"Then I told him that regardless of our fight, I should have come back for him. And he said that was all he needed to know. At that point I gave him a courting gift so it sort of derailed any discussion that could have been had, but he said he was done, so..."

"I guess... I just prefer to follow his lead. I always have. And in the moment all I want to do is make him happy, and it's not until later that I recognize that I have things to say and things I want to hear."

"And what are those things you want to say and want to hear, love?"

"He said that he shouldn't have lashed out at me under the mountain, but I want to know if he really thought that I was running away to save myself. I want to know if he still sees me as running away. I want to know what he thinks about me having other partners, and kids. I want to know what he wants our future together to look like. I want him to get to know my kids and tell me that he approves."

Should he care if Wukong approves? Fuck no. But he does.

"I want to know that he's as devoted to me as I am to him. And he thinks I should know that, probably, but I don't. And it's going to take a lot before I do. A lot of repetition and backtracking and mess. Things he's not good at, and if I push him, maybe he'll decide it's not worth it." That their relationship isn't worth it.

"There is a lot there. I can't answer some of that of course. Only he can. And maybe during alone time, asking him some of those specific questions. About if he meant the running away part. If he thinks you still do that. And what he thinks about your grown connections. But do keep in mind, exactly what are you wanting or hoping or fearing to hear?"

"Because you have to be willing to accept what he's saying is his truth when he says it. And I'm certain he approves based solely on the fact they make you happy. And setting up play dates might be needed to help bridge that gap."

Just saying.

"As for the last part. I think a conversation on that is going to be needed. Because those expectations and where you're starting is important. And allow him to say what he needs to feel the devotion from you and what to expect in return."

"...I don't know. I don't want to push him away." So he just doesn't say the ten thousand things on his mind. He's too cerebral. Wukong was never that.

"A lot of this is my own problem. My own head and what's in it and how Wukong was built up in my mind. I feel like I need to unfuck that and then, maybe..."

"Clear and open communication isn't pushing someone away, love." Lucifer gently cups Macaque's cheek.

"Let's talk about that real quick. You say it's your problem. But answer me this. Do you expect the same proof of devotion from all your mates and your boyfriend? Or only Wukong?"

"It is if he feels hounded or something."

He considers, but only for a beat. "I don't have these doubts about any of my other partners. I haven't been through with them what I went through with Wukong. Apples and oranges."

"Okay. So you feel is you are chasing a subject, and he doesn't want to, he pulls away. And I wasn't asking love for some form of gotcha. I wanted to make sure. It being different makes sense. The only other partner you have had history with is MK and that history is quite different."

"Less Lovers to Enemies to Lovers and just kinda Enemies to Lovers."

"I don't think you're trying to gotcha me. You're helping. This is just one of my most confusing subjects. My reasoning gets circular because he makes me stupid."

"Just makes sure. And I can tell. You both make each other stupid. It's adorable. So. You feel the foundation is shaky, yes? And you want to know the depth of devotion goes both ways. What ways would you appreciate and feel validated? What do you want to see and hear and feel?"

"I don't know. Honestly. If I knew I'd say so. I haven't the slightest idea what I need... maybe just time. Maybe I'm trying to fix it too quickly with all the talking. He's right, it does go around and around with no clear landing site."

"Let's talk landing point. We've gone over some of it already. Family and kids approved. You two showing devotion and love to one another. Open communication past the carousel of topics. And you and him feeling both happy and satisfied emotionally and physically together. And another question then. Since well you share Wukong with MK. Are you wanting to be able to do things as a group or would you rather not cross those streams?"

Macaque practically bristles at the mention of sharing.

"No. No way. I don't like sharing Wukong, I just do it because I have no choice. I might be able to get talked up to threesomes with other people, but Wukong will never be one of them."

At least he's clear on it?

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

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Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

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Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action

Re: Doujinshi continuation UN: KingofHell > action