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[castaside]

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[castaside]

"Mm. The one thing I have to adjust to is that without all the physical stuff, or at least without most of it, I'm getting a lot less reinforcement than I'm used to. It'll be good for me to learn to open my mouth and ask if things are okay, I guess."

[forgingfires]

"It is a pretty good habit to develop," Red Son said. "Hopefully he is responsive when you ask things?" He IS giving the affirmation Macaque looks for them, right? The fact things are easier, he would hope so.

[castaside]

"He is. I just don't want to pester about it too much. You know how that new stage is, when you're trying hard not to be annoying."

[forgingfires]

"Its hard to imagine you annoying," Red Son said, hand wondering to his neck. Working through the fur there. "But good. If he doesn't treat you right, he would get a very stern and mildly threatening lecture."

[castaside]

Macaque shakes his head. "Would never happen. If he was ever an asshole to me, he'd apologize." Ask him how he knows.

[forgingfires]

"You're quite confident," Red Son said, surprised. "Usually you're more....more resigned to being treated poorly. Have to insist you do otherwise."

[castaside]

"He knows that he can be an ass sometimes, and so we discussed it. He's been so clear that not even I could doubt it." And the flowers were a nice touch.

[forgingfires]

"...wow. Clear communication," he said. How novel. He's been trying to be better at it with Saya's influence and because clearly MK needed it and Macaque seemed benefited from it, but he had his shortfalls.

[castaside]

"Mmhmm. It's kind of addictive when you get used to it. Which I'm not entirely quite yet, but he's getting me closer."

[forgingfires]

"You deserve it," he said. "To have someone make it easy to know where they are and where they want to go." Unlike SOME people who are absolutely garbage at words.

[castaside]

"I don't know if he quite knows where he wants to go, at least not with me. Yet. I don't mind taking things slowly... but who could blame me for hoping we get there at some point?"

[forgingfires]

"He must have really charmed you," Red Son said. "Its kind of cute." Macaque really does have that schoolkid crush vibe right now.

[castaside]

A light burst of laughter as Macaque nudges Red. "Shut up."

"...But yes. He did."

[forgingfires]

"You're adorable," he said, finally looking up. His eyes are puffy and face tear stained.

He reaches up and baps Macaque's cheeks. "You should take him on more dates if it gives you these adorable faces."

[castaside]

It's a cute face even so. He will allow the cheek bap but don't make it a habit.

"I'll ask him." Once Choco is out of the jar, oops. "We can't have you going without cute faces."

[forgingfires]

"Absolutely not. I want more cute Mac faces," he said. Lightly poking his cheeks.

Well, at least he's reaching distracted drunk phase.

[castaside]

"I probably make cute faces when I talk about you, too." He's just saying, Wash doesn't have a monopoly.

[forgingfires]

"Hm, but I don't get to see you TALK about me like that, so I don't get those faces," he said.

It's a good expression on Macaque. He keeps poking his cheeks. Something peaceful. Fond. Maybe even safe.

Slowly the small smile on Red Son's face fades. Tears starting to prick at the corner of his eyes. "I'm sorry...I don't think I can make the dream come true anymore..."

[castaside]

The dream...? --Oh.

He holds Red closer. "You'll still have me. No matter what."

[forgingfires]

"I know. But it was the part that would make you happiest that's gone. I think it was gone before I even had the dream," he said, the tears building.

[castaside]

Red gets a kiss on the temple. "You make me deliriously happy, Red. Not being able to make it work with him won't make me unhappy."

[forgingfires]

"I thought I could. I thought after the apology, after he accepted the laptop, that it was a sign he was open to moving forward. I thought his avoiding me was because he was a hermit or skittish about the changing dynamic. I thought...I thought if I just kept TRYING, then he would reach out on his own and then we could try getting closer and then MK would be happy, and you'd be happy, and he'd be happy and it'd WORK OUT, but..." He whines, burying his face against his shoulder again.

[castaside]

Yeah, that's a familiar feeling. Weird to see it in someone else.

Macaque just holds Red and does his best to be steady. "He can be infuriating sometimes. I know you tried."

[forgingfires]

"I tried. I knew he was going to want to talk about the game. I KNEW. And Everytime he talked with me when I did something awful, I was always...always freaked out. I barely knew what I was doing at the time and panicked and could never say what he wanted to hear and I didn't want that. I knew I did something terrible. Unforgivable. I was going to accept any punishment, but if he wanted me to talk, I didn't...I didn't want him to think it was just me saying whatever my first impulse was...I wanted him to think I was...I was sincere. I regretted. I thought about it. I was at fault for MK hurting. It was all me. That I would take all responsibility and nothing...nothing felt enough...except for..."

He was crying against Macaque again, shaking as he clutched tightly at his shirt, his heart racing.

"I kowtowed."

[castaside]

Macaque listens, holding Red and taking in how he tried. He believes it, but there's not much he can do so it's mostly just listening. Until the last thing.

He squeezes Red tight and nuzzles into his sticky hair. "Oh, Red. I'm sorry." To go to such extremes and then not have it work out...