"It is a pretty good habit to develop," Red Son said. "Hopefully he is responsive when you ask things?" He IS giving the affirmation Macaque looks for them, right? The fact things are easier, he would hope so.
"Its hard to imagine you annoying," Red Son said, hand wondering to his neck. Working through the fur there. "But good. If he doesn't treat you right, he would get a very stern and mildly threatening lecture."
"He knows that he can be an ass sometimes, and so we discussed it. He's been so clear that not even I could doubt it." And the flowers were a nice touch.
"...wow. Clear communication," he said. How novel. He's been trying to be better at it with Saya's influence and because clearly MK needed it and Macaque seemed benefited from it, but he had his shortfalls.
"You deserve it," he said. "To have someone make it easy to know where they are and where they want to go." Unlike SOME people who are absolutely garbage at words.
"I don't know if he quite knows where he wants to go, at least not with me. Yet. I don't mind taking things slowly... but who could blame me for hoping we get there at some point?"
"Hm, but I don't get to see you TALK about me like that, so I don't get those faces," he said.
It's a good expression on Macaque. He keeps poking his cheeks. Something peaceful. Fond. Maybe even safe.
Slowly the small smile on Red Son's face fades. Tears starting to prick at the corner of his eyes. "I'm sorry...I don't think I can make the dream come true anymore..."
"I thought I could. I thought after the apology, after he accepted the laptop, that it was a sign he was open to moving forward. I thought his avoiding me was because he was a hermit or skittish about the changing dynamic. I thought...I thought if I just kept TRYING, then he would reach out on his own and then we could try getting closer and then MK would be happy, and you'd be happy, and he'd be happy and it'd WORK OUT, but..." He whines, burying his face against his shoulder again.
"I tried. I knew he was going to want to talk about the game. I KNEW. And Everytime he talked with me when I did something awful, I was always...always freaked out. I barely knew what I was doing at the time and panicked and could never say what he wanted to hear and I didn't want that. I knew I did something terrible. Unforgivable. I was going to accept any punishment, but if he wanted me to talk, I didn't...I didn't want him to think it was just me saying whatever my first impulse was...I wanted him to think I was...I was sincere. I regretted. I thought about it. I was at fault for MK hurting. It was all me. That I would take all responsibility and nothing...nothing felt enough...except for..."
He was crying against Macaque again, shaking as he clutched tightly at his shirt, his heart racing.
Macaque listens, holding Red and taking in how he tried. He believes it, but there's not much he can do so it's mostly just listening. Until the last thing.
He squeezes Red tight and nuzzles into his sticky hair. "Oh, Red. I'm sorry." To go to such extremes and then not have it work out...
"He just...he just ignored it. I know...I know he doesn't know me well, but...but he KNOWS that. He was there. He saw. He had to...how could he not know?" Red Son said, voice shaking, curling up tighter against Macaque. "He knows. He just put meo n the couch like it was nothing and wanted to know what happened and I-he called my reasons excuses, but they weren't, they were why I did it, why it was my fault, I was trying it take responsibilty, he was supposed to understand I was sincere, but he...he just acted like it was every...every other time and I...I still tried. I tried to do what he did and was vulnerable other ways, told him things I've barely breathed to anyone, and that didn't work and..."
There's a sob. "I'm sorry. I thought I could make everyone happy, but...but I can't just fail this a million times until to works, he's another person, you can't do that to people, I don't know any other extreme I can do-"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
"...But yes. He did."
no subject
He reaches up and baps Macaque's cheeks. "You should take him on more dates if it gives you these adorable faces."
no subject
"I'll ask him." Once Choco is out of the jar, oops. "We can't have you going without cute faces."
no subject
Well, at least he's reaching distracted drunk phase.
no subject
no subject
It's a good expression on Macaque. He keeps poking his cheeks. Something peaceful. Fond. Maybe even safe.
Slowly the small smile on Red Son's face fades. Tears starting to prick at the corner of his eyes. "I'm sorry...I don't think I can make the dream come true anymore..."
no subject
He holds Red closer. "You'll still have me. No matter what."
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Macaque just holds Red and does his best to be steady. "He can be infuriating sometimes. I know you tried."
no subject
He was crying against Macaque again, shaking as he clutched tightly at his shirt, his heart racing.
"I kowtowed."
no subject
He squeezes Red tight and nuzzles into his sticky hair. "Oh, Red. I'm sorry." To go to such extremes and then not have it work out...
no subject
There's a sob. "I'm sorry. I thought I could make everyone happy, but...but I can't just fail this a million times until to works, he's another person, you can't do that to people, I don't know any other extreme I can do-"
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)