castaside | [Heart Game] From the ashes we can build

"...yeah, definitely some rejection and helplessness. Resignation to a degree," he said.

Let's try that incense.

"Failure as well, since this memory was his wanting to keep Donnie from taking the blame for all of this. He feels that because he asked Donnie to do the surgery, then he's the only one responsible for the pain this mess is causing."

Smoothly, he scoops the snake into the bowl with his tail, staring hard at it as he draws the bowl closer.

When Wash touches the incense, he will get a frantic sensation of trying to make things work. Put the square peg of reality into the round emotional hole, proverbially speaking. You know that things can't ever be exactly what you want (need?) but you should take what you can get.

The snake seems to be sluggish, probably because of the ice in here. It is easily scooped into the bowl. It looks into Wukong's eyes, and you get a strong sense of jealousy, and also guilt about that jealousy. You have no right to be jealous, all considered. You should be able to take these sort of hurts better by now.

Luckily for the snake, Wukong is weiring his Journey clothes, so it's a simple matter to open his sleeve, inviting it to enter and warm itself by wrapping around his arm. He's always been protective of the people that are his...and if Macaque is his friend, still wants to be his...then that still applies to this jealous little piece of him. Because it needs warmth.

"Yeah, that tracks," Wash said. "The kid's always been a fixer."

Hm, another point for resignation. Unfortunately one he understands well. Its always hard trying to find that right piece for the emotional hole. He's gotten better, but its taken a lot of work.

He'll touch the wax. He figures Wukong is probably okay with the snake.

You are Macaque, and you are running. You have young monkeys climbing all over you, and more in your cradled arms as you run, your lungs burning from exertion and smoke.

You chance a look back. The flames are climbing the mountain, right on your heels. Heaven's holy fire, you think bitterly, come to cleanse Wukong's lands and all his subjects. As if imprisoning him wasn't bad enough.

The flames rush up to meet you, searing the end of your tail. You jump, diving through the waterfall and the seals, dropping the monkeys because you know that it won't be a pretty landing.

You cover your ears as the monkeys you couldn't save burn and scream. You hear every bit of those sounds anyway, and you feel sick. You feel useless.

More than anything, you feel guilty. And alone.

The kids scatter as you wail with impotent grief. First a scream of your own, raspy from the smoke, then quieter sobs that echo through the cavern.

Wukong would have been able to save them. Why weren't you?

Edited 2024-03-14 20:31 (UTC)

Oh fuck.

Excuse him as he drops to his knees at that because oh, that memory hits REAL FUCKING HARD.

The sound of buildings collapsing, the screams and shrieks of crumpling metal. The very distant and all too close THRUM of plasma raining down from the sky, there is rebar through her middle, telling him to box everything up and to keep going-

Wash grabs his head.

Forces himself to fucking breathe.

Edited 2024-03-14 20:53 (UTC)

When you drop to your knees, something falls from the ceiling and lands in front of you./

It's a rope that looks like it was spun out of pure gold. There's a little golden monkey logo on one end of it. It feels important, like it wants to protect you. Much like the grenade, you want to hang onto it.

"....thanks." he will pick it up and store it away.

The snake looks dubious, but then it slithers up your arm and coils around it. Not to tight to be painful, but tightly enough so it won't slip off.

The last item is the loose dried wax, and then there's the void.

Dubious is just about Macaque's middle name. The Six-Eared Dubious Macaque. Even when there was no reason to be, despite that not being as often as Wukong would like. He lets the sleeve drop and looks at the wax. If that's all that's left...

He takes a piece.

You are Macaque, and you are running. You have young monkeys climbing all over you, and more in your cradled arms as you run, your lungs burning from exertion and smoke.

You chance a look back. The flames are climbing the mountain, right on your heels. Heaven's holy fire, you think bitterly, come to cleanse Wukong's lands and all his subjects. As if imprisoning him wasn't bad enough.

The flames rush up to meet you, searing the end of your tail. You jump, diving through the waterfall and the seals, dropping the monkeys because you know that it won't be a pretty landing.

You cover your ears as the monkeys you couldn't save burn and scream. You hear every bit of those sounds anyway, and you feel sick. You feel useless.

More than anything, you feel guilty. And alone.

The kids scatter as you wail with impotent grief. First a scream of your own, raspy from the smoke, then quieter sobs that echo through the cavern.

Wukong would have been able to save them. Why weren't you?

You know what the worst part of being the Monkey King while having memory!Macaque's hearing is? The Monkey King knows every single Monkey that exists, even if their names sometimes slip past him. And those older monkey screams? He knows every single voice. But he also knows Macaque couldn't save them all. Six of them hadn't been able to take on Heaven together, so what chance did Macaque have alone?

Wukong didn't resent him, or blame him for choosing the children. He was just sad and frustrated that Macaque was put in that positon at all.

"Fucking assholes cleansing bullshit-"

He had touched the memory himself and his breathing got erratic and there is rage.

And pain.

And so much fucking sympathy.

Edited 2024-03-14 20:49 (UTC)

"Because that's what Heaven does when someone there doesn't like you. It doesn't matter if you're currently doing their bidding either."

Unfortunately, now you know just who Wukong let it go about. Those comments he made earlier...all about the people who would cause this to a bunch of helpless innocents. He sighs and places a hand on Wash's shoulder. "Take some time to breathe. We still have work to do here."

There is an actual growl. "Like the Covenant. Oh, you don't match our fucked standards of sit down and obey and maybe if you're good enough, you can join our fucked out death cult."

There is.

A lot of rage. A shaking that can be felt, even through the armor.

"They were just living their lives, but of course, of course they were easy to take out, so why not!"

He sighed angrily. "What is wrong with people who decide they can just commit a genocide like its nothing?"

"Beats me, especially because that the second of three in roughly a hundred years."

Wukong sits in front of him propping his chin on one hand. "One thing about having power is there are pretty much three kinds of people who have it: those who try to control everything, those who think they can do better, and those who don't want to be controlled. And those who want control will use whatever they can to hurt anyone who doesn't fit that, especially if they don't have enough power todo anything else."

Wash groaned and rubs at the back of his neck. "It's...I will never get those people. They can't even say they've been hurt to justify their madness," he said. Those with that much power and manipulation usually aren't near as hurt as those they hurt.

He sighs, and pushes himself to his feet. "I think it's helplessness. The underlying theme."

He is also summoning Macat for pets.

Edited 2024-03-14 21:36 (UTC)

Makitty/Macat pops into existence and will cuddle up with Wash, purring intently.

"That we definitely have in common," Wukong conceded. He reached up, stroking Macaquepie's feathers idly. Helplessness huh? He thought on that for a while. "So which memories are you carrying?" he asked finally. "Because there's probably a couple of ways we can handle theis one. The obvious being using the statue's head."

"The statue's head would probably be a bad idea. The voids are like...the structure of the room. It'll make things a priority or a structure of the feeling," he said, petting Macat as he evens out his breathing. "And the statue head resulted in not talking to you, and I assume acting on a jealous rage. Noooot the kind of thing you want to be structural," he said.

He looks at the items and sighs. "Likely...the things that were? Are going to be the mountain getting attacked," he said and then held out a statue shard, "and being rejected and making contact with shadows. They're not good feelings, but those are also the kind of memories that are going to be a big deal for someone's foundations."

"Uh-huh...fair, and you don't have anything in your bag that could also work?" Wukong asks. Clearly he's not willing to actually just jump into this part. Other things are fair game to just go for. Not this. "Because you left that question hanging."

"There is the torn cloth, but that is also the feeling like he'll never be chosen first. Which, like the jealousy, not great as a structural thing," he said. "There's the incense which is always trying to make things work, even if its not what he wants, but he thinks he should be happy with what he gets. Which isn't the worst, but its a slippery slope sorta thing."

He opens his bag, considering what he has. "The jar of sand might work, but that is a stretch. Maybe the fight with MK, but we'd need to get that candle. He did feel bad I didn't seem willing to ask for help with the bulb memory, but those are pretty mixed things."

"You know, there's a not small part of me that thinks we needed more good memories to work with and refuses to believe there were so few even when I was gone since the monkeys absolutely loved him. Like in-laws that everyone dreams of having loved. And I know that you can hear us in here, with your omniscient hearing! The kids better be getting those good memories!"

Being serious though, he focuses on the problem at hand. "Well, I've got a night of cuddling during a thunderstorm he was struggling through, and the Don't Forget paper. But I don't think not forgetting helps here. Having someone help when he's helpless might, but I feel kinda like that might be more useful later."

"I mean, I'm gonna guess that there is a good chance that everything West will have a lot to do with the feelings he had during that time in his life, so we are probably getting the shitty rooms," Wash said. He's just saying.

He looks to the voids. "The voids are structure, so we should best match the items to the vibe of the room. You don't want to mess with a structure. That's how you get wires crossed on how you react to things. Like laughing when someone is suffering. Stuff like that. But you can try to help alleviate the room a bit if you want, separated from the voids. Then you're not baking it into those feelings, but it might make it a little easier. Leaving notes in rooms was a pretty common thing for Heart Games, try to help people feel like they have someone they can turn to, or try to offer some kind of comfort. It doesn't usually force a big change, but it might make it easier to get a change outside."

Edited 2024-03-23 19:18 (UTC)

Re: Level S (sub 1) - West Door

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