castaside | Seasons Inbox

[ A portal appears beside Wukong for him to step through, which leads to Macaque's new room at his kids' place. A huge nest is there and the walls are decorated with pictures and paintings of everyone Macaque is close to, including Wukong. There's a balcony leading to a mango tree. Off to the side there's a doorway to another room where you can hear a waterfall. ]

Not bad, right? They went completely overboard.

[He takes everything in and whistles.]

Not bad at all. I'm happy for you. Even got the second best kind of fruit tree.

[He walks over and wraps both arms around Macaque, nuzzling his cheek.]

[ Macaque chuckles, which warm into a hum as Wukong embraces and nuzzles him. Macaque loosely wraps Wukong in his arms too. Something about this always feels so warm and perfect, like coming home. It's enough to almost lift Macaque out of his terrible mood for a moment. ]

I can plant a peach tree beside it if you like.

This is your home that you made with them. I'm not barging in on that.

[He rests his chin on Macaque's shoulder and curls his tail around the darker one lazily. It's almost possible to forget how bad things are and have been.]

Besides, I'm pretty sure you need spaces where there's not a me-thing right there.

[ His tail winds around Wukong's and he starts quietly purring. ]

Who says I want spaces without a you-thing there? [ It's not like Wukong's ever far from his mind no matter what. ] And anyway, you're all over the walls.

[ Macaque leans closer to nuzzle Wukong's nose. ] You do wonders for my mood these days, after all.

[At least that's true for a couple of people.

He's definitely not voicing that thought, especially when the mate he came to support is nuzzling him and being sweet. It's easier and overall better to just nuzzle his nose and purr in return.]

I'm glad.

[ If he knew that Wukong was upset, Macaque would be glad to support him too. He knows that Wukong and Red had an argument but it wasn't easy to tell from Red's version how much Wukong was bothered. ]

[ He stays pressed close for a long moment, purring and watching Wukong with lidded eyes. ]

You want to try out the nest? I'm through shedding but I wouldn't say no to a good grooming. Mutual grooming, I mean. That always makes it easier to talk.

You know you could be the heaviest shedder and I'd still say yes, Macaque.

[He has zero intention of bringing that up now. Or maybe ever. Definitely not now though.

Shifting his hold, he scoops Macaque up and crosses the short distance to the nest to sit with his mate in his lap.]

Comfortable?

Turns out, my son has a waterfall where you can control the flow and that blasted off most of the--

[ Macaque makes a surprised chirp as he's picked up and brought to the nest. Wukong is being terribly sweet. ]

[ He gets his shirt of and nuzzles into Wukong's shoulder. ]

This is just what I needed.

[Wukong is being Wukong when he's acutely aware he's needed. Everything is okay because I've got you version.

He nuzzles all three ears on one side, then pulls back to get to work. His claws slide through Macaque's fur seeking out any lingering loose fur or debris.]

Not a fan of water-blasts myself, but I'd have watched.

Anything to get the process over with faster I'm a fan of. I used to dunk myself under your waterfall several times a day at the beginning of summer, remember?

[ Macaque shivers when his ears are nuzzled. He's not used to having them out and they're still sensitive... not in a bad way whatsoever. ]

I'd have hung out here with or without the waterfall. I want to be close to Choco right now. Watch over her without trying to seem overbearing, you know?

I always thought you were just more sensitive to the heat to do that all the time.

[He nods without pausing.]

Same for MK, minus not trying to seem overbearing. I know I am right now. But you also need me, so I wanted to be here.

...do you want to talk about it?

That, too. Getting the undercoat off faster helped with the heat, so it was both.

[ Macaque nods. He can imagine how Wukong is with MK right now, and it's understandable. ]

...Are you angry that I couldn't save him? [ He was there, after all, in a manner of speaking. He tried to stop Red, but he was holding Choco's body and had only just recovered his memories so mentally he was a million miles away. ]

No. You were already overburdened from what I've heard. I'm not blaming you for it.

[He's being sincere, though the response feels a little detached to his own ears. He shakes his head though.]

I hope you weren't worried I would be.

I did try to stop it. But I wasn't all there. I had Choco's corpse in my arms at the time, my thoughts were like sand through a sieve.

[ Macaque hunches over a bit. ]

Of course I was worried. I know what he means to you.

I heard that too. And I know you do. That's why I'm not mad.

[He wraps his arms around Macaque and just holds him close.]

I know these kids are everything to you. I'm not holding this against you.

[ Macaque is distantly relieved that Wukong isn't angry. But it can't assuage all the guilt. ]

[ He curls up against Wukong anyway. Even though he perhaps doesn't deserve it. ]

I don't suppose it's within your power to have this place give us all a break? Just for a little while. [ This is the closest he can come to saying how not okay he is. ]

I wish I could, but I can't. So...this will have to do.

[He starts to purr, chirping softly in Macaque's ears.]

Safety. Love. Togetherness. Understanding. [Macaque isn't alone and still has him.]

[ Macaque shifts until he can bury his face against the crook of Wukong's neck. He spends a second just breathing him in, basking in the chirps. ]

...Do you really love me? I can't remember you saying it out loud. [ It seems like something he'd remember. He would have been on a high for a month solid. ]

[ It doesn't occur to him until too late that this might be a dangerous question. ]

I don't know if I ever said it out loud.

[He doesn't like the doubt, it twists uncomfortably in his stomach.]

I was so busy saying and trying to prove it in every other way that I never really thought about the words back then.

I guess I should have put more thought into it, because I do love you.

[ Macaque's arms are tight around Wukong before he can even think to do it, breath catching, eyes stinging. Hearing it means so much. It means the world. It's what he's always wanted. ]

You already know it, but I love you too.

[ He chirps it too, just for good measure: ] Overwhelmed, happiness, love love love love.

[Wukong nods and just cuddles in closer, still purring. He knew. It was never a question except when they were enemies.]

[ That and he said it while they were truthshroomed. ]

[ Macaque curls as close as he can possibly get, purring loudly. ] Thank you for saying it.

No problem.

[He stays where he is for a moment, then starts to groom Macaque again, pulling his mind from the negative rut it was angling toward.]

You're a very nice bright spot in this morass of I don't even know what.

[ Yeah, he's going through it. ]

It might be obvious that I've been kind of a mess, and trying to hold it together for everyone else. Not always succeeding, I'll grant you that.

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