[ words fail her and she just chirps instead, chirps and cheeps and she's too happy, too utterly ecstatic, to feel self-conscious about it. or about the way she starts bouncing giddily, wings fluttering and flapping; she dispels the blade so her hands are free to flap too.
half a minute or so of that and she tops it all off by throwing herself at him for a hug ]
"Sometimes that can help to establish a skill. Either instinct takes over and you just do it, or a time of great need makes you tap into power you never realize you had."
He holds her below her wings until she's ready to get down.
"This means I'm cranking up the difficulty level when we train, you realize." He expects that she'll have no objections.
[ some people (most people?) would probably be intimidated by the prospect. not this bird. ]
You're the best! [ she kisses his cheek ] And I'm one step closer to kicking your butt!
[ finally hops down ]
Oh, but first — [ because yes she 1000% meant it when she said Right Now ] Did Papaque have any thoughts about which power I should get back? Sparrow's shields are out, and the featherblades too I guess.
He chuckles and accepts the kiss readily. "One step of several."
Hm, which ability...
"For both reasons selfish and not I like the idea of you manifesting certain abilities when in mortal danger." He'll sleep better and also-- "You'll probably do better against me with that in your back pocket."
"I don't doubt you, babygirl." The whole point of training was for her to get that strong.
"Less a spar, more a fight with some asshole who is trying to kill you. I can't help being a little protective." There's an element of sheepishness to that last sentence.
… Yeah. [ And gosh, it's almost wild how … easy? easier, comparatively? it is for Korone to hear that. To trust that he really means it, and that he'll be honest about the things she needs to work on. ]
[ Some asshole he says, and Korone huffs softly, just shy of a laugh. ]
You're allowed to be. [ She tilts her head, studying him. ] Wanna talk about it? If this has been weighing on you. I know I can't stop you from worrying, but maybe it'd help ease your mind a little.
"Want to, not really. Only because the very idea gnaws at me. Should I, probably. So we can try it. No promises that I won't get stupid about the concept of you getting seriously hurt or killed."
[ Wordlessly lets BOSS know that target practice is on hold via her fancy (but blessedly inconspicuous, thank you Donnie) HUD glasses. ]
'Kay. [ She offers him a hand. ] We can stop or take a break if we need to. And if moving or doing other stuff while we're talking helps, that's fine too. [ He should know that already, not least because he's spent plenty of time around her and Donnie and Wash. Just in case he needs the reminder, though. Or permission. ]
I'm not gonna get mad, run away, or think any less of you for feeling your feelings. [ Challenge, sure, if it's warranted, and she can and will call him out if he acts like a dick. But he's not going to scare her off. ] That's a general rule, but ... when it comes to things like this especially. It's too important. Too raw.
"I know you wouldn't think less of me." The tip of his tail starts twitching, a nervous habit. "It's more that speaking my fears might trigger you. I don't want to hurt you just to get things off my chest."
I can understand why you're worried. [ She's got a lot of trauma, a lot of triggers, and he's seen first-hand they can hit; how quickly she can get dragged under. ]
If it helps ... I think I know some of what to expect, and I feel calm, safe, and ready. It might be uncomfortable sometimes but I doubt I'll fall or spiral. [ She gives his hand a squeeze ] 'Uncomfortable' in the sore but healing, helping more than hurting, constructive kind of way? ... And, for me at least, there's an element of —
You know how Donnie takes comfort in planning and setting up contingencies?
That's okay. [ She could argue that he wouldn't be the one hurting her. A younger Korone probably would try to argue that she doesn't mind the pain; that it's okay, worth it. Hardly the biggest sacrifice she's made. She's suffered worse for worse reasons! It's fine!
It isn't fine and it clearly wouldn't be worth it. ]
If it gets to be too much, say the word and we can stop. I'll let you know if I need to. Promise. [ Promises were a Big Damn Deal to her years before she got saddled with the taboos. ]
[ She smiles a little. ] Yup. … There's differences, obviously - [ particular traumas, coping mechanisms, the obsessions and compulsions Donnie wrestles with - ] but we've got some things in common. One of my long-standing habits is making contingency plans for possessions, violent status effects, and other associated bullshit, tailored to individuals, with conditional branching for various circumstances and tolerance for curveballs. It's weirdly comforting. And it helps me process some of the Big Yikes stuff I've been through, so talking about it feels ... easier.
He relaxes noticeably when she promises. He knows those are important to her, so he believes it. He also knows that she wouldn't want to -- in her view -- hurt him by hurting herself.
"Makes sense. Things have slightly less teeth if you have a plan for them."
[ Seeing him relax, she smiles and bumps companionably into his side. Hi. ]
Mmhm. Knowledge is power! And for the stuff I can't plan for … [ Tugs lightly on his hand, guiding him over to sit by the gym's branch of the lazy river ] … it still helps, 'cuz it encourages me to think critically — constructively — about my strengths and weaknesses.
Which means I can say stuff like … "Staying alive is a valid and important strategy, and there have been and will be situations where getting out and getting help is the best, most helpful thing I can do" and actually mean it! Without being mean to myself!
Thanks, Dad. Having you in my life is one of the big reasons I've been able to come so far.
[ She dips her legs into the lazy river, watching the water ripple and swirl around her shadow-clad calves. ]
I know you worry, that you get scared for me. It's part of loving someone. ... And there's been plenty of nightmare fuel on top. [ Like the worst kind of sprinkles. ] So I wanna hear what's on your mind. Maybe between us, we can help you breath a little easier?
[ Perhaps notably, she isn't angling to try to make him Not Worry. ]
"I'm happy about that, babygirl." He truly is. Why is he even in her life if not to make it a little better?
"I'm not sure if it'll make be breathe easier, but at the very least I want to be honest with you if that's what you want." Hopefully this won't cause her to dissociate or anything.
"I have a lot of fears about you vanishing from this place. Also another situation like the jar or the glamour monsters. About me not being able to be where you need me."
[ Korone would love her Papaque very much even if he was a walking trashfire disaster man salting the earth with gleeful dead inside abandon. ]
Mm, that's fair. As long as I don't make anything worse? [ She wouldn't on purpose, whether by putting her foot in her mouth while they're talking or carelessness in action. ] … But we already talked about stopping if we've gotta and I trust — and appreciate — how hard you always try to be honest with me, so. [ Let's do this. ]
[ Fears about her vanishing. That gives Korone a pause. Not because it's unexpected, or unreasonable, or because she hasn't had countless nightmares along those very same lines; it just happened so often, back in those other places ... She turns the thought over in her mind and nods slowly. ]
It really truly, deeply sucks to not be able to reach someone you care about. And the whole thing with the jar must've been ... [ She trails off, glancing up at him. ]
"It was worse for you. That thing on your face and neck and not being able to do anything." Since she's more comfortable when she can fidget and interact with the world. Grounding, probably.
"That's part of why I feel like a shit for complaining."
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Also she's cute but he's keeping that to himself.
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[ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ]
[ words fail her and she just chirps instead, chirps and cheeps and she's too happy, too utterly ecstatic, to feel self-conscious about it. or about the way she starts bouncing giddily, wings fluttering and flapping; she dispels the blade so her hands are free to flap too.
half a minute or so of that and she tops it all off by throwing herself at him for a hug ]
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He won't go further with the praise, lest he embarrass her further. So he just hugs her. "Hi."
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[ she did it. she did that, and he's impressed; he's proud of her, and - ]
[ aaaa. she buries her face against his shoulder, giggling, and hugs him with everything she has. ]
Hi. [ she doesn't let go even as she starts to calm down from the rush, catching her breath. ] I can't believe I - I wasn't even thinking about it?
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He holds her below her wings until she's ready to get down.
"This means I'm cranking up the difficulty level when we train, you realize." He expects that she'll have no objections.
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[ then he talks about cranking up the difficulty level and she gasps, peeling back just far enough to deliver a max strength Earnest Enthusiasm Beam ]
Yes! Right now!
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"Consider it done. Level up granted."
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You're the best! [ she kisses his cheek ] And I'm one step closer to kicking your butt!
[ finally hops down ]
Oh, but first — [ because yes she 1000% meant it when she said Right Now ] Did Papaque have any thoughts about which power I should get back? Sparrow's shields are out, and the featherblades too I guess.
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Hm, which ability...
"For both reasons selfish and not I like the idea of you manifesting certain abilities when in mortal danger." He'll sleep better and also-- "You'll probably do better against me with that in your back pocket."
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[ It'd be easy to mistake her playfulness as genuine overconfidence if he didn't know her better. ]
[ Korone's smile doesn't fade with that last line of his, but the look she gives him is thoughtful. Shrewd. ]
To clarify, is that in the context of a spar or bullshit status effects? 'cuz it's hard to imagine the former.
[ #teamnesiaveteran #mightaswellbetuesday ]
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"Less a spar, more a fight with some asshole who is trying to kill you. I can't help being a little protective." There's an element of sheepishness to that last sentence.
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[ Some asshole he says, and Korone huffs softly, just shy of a laugh. ]
You're allowed to be. [ She tilts her head, studying him. ] Wanna talk about it? If this has been weighing on you. I know I can't stop you from worrying, but maybe it'd help ease your mind a little.
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"Want to, not really. Only because the very idea gnaws at me. Should I, probably. So we can try it. No promises that I won't get stupid about the concept of you getting seriously hurt or killed."
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'Kay. [ She offers him a hand. ] We can stop or take a break if we need to. And if moving or doing other stuff while we're talking helps, that's fine too. [ He should know that already, not least because he's spent plenty of time around her and Donnie and Wash. Just in case he needs the reminder, though. Or permission. ]
I'm not gonna get mad, run away, or think any less of you for feeling your feelings. [ Challenge, sure, if it's warranted, and she can and will call him out if he acts like a dick. But he's not going to scare her off. ] That's a general rule, but ... when it comes to things like this especially. It's too important. Too raw.
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I can understand why you're worried. [ She's got a lot of trauma, a lot of triggers, and he's seen first-hand they can hit; how quickly she can get dragged under. ]
If it helps ... I think I know some of what to expect, and I feel calm, safe, and ready. It might be uncomfortable sometimes but I doubt I'll fall or spiral. [ She gives his hand a squeeze ] 'Uncomfortable' in the sore but healing, helping more than hurting, constructive kind of way? ... And, for me at least, there's an element of —
You know how Donnie takes comfort in planning and setting up contingencies?
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"I understand. But I'll still want to stop if you're having a rough time." He doesn't want to be the cause of pain for her. She has enough of those.
He nods. "Mmhmm, that boy is a planner for sure."
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It isn't fine and it clearly wouldn't be worth it. ]
If it gets to be too much, say the word and we can stop. I'll let you know if I need to. Promise. [ Promises were a Big Damn Deal to her years before she got saddled with the taboos. ]
[ She smiles a little. ] Yup. … There's differences, obviously - [ particular traumas, coping mechanisms, the obsessions and compulsions Donnie wrestles with - ] but we've got some things in common. One of my long-standing habits is making contingency plans for possessions, violent status effects, and other associated bullshit, tailored to individuals, with conditional branching for various circumstances and tolerance for curveballs. It's weirdly comforting. And it helps me process some of the Big Yikes stuff I've been through, so talking about it feels ... easier.
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"Makes sense. Things have slightly less teeth if you have a plan for them."
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Mmhm. Knowledge is power! And for the stuff I can't plan for … [ Tugs lightly on his hand, guiding him over to sit by the gym's branch of the lazy river ] … it still helps, 'cuz it encourages me to think critically — constructively — about my strengths and weaknesses.
Which means I can say stuff like … "Staying alive is a valid and important strategy, and there have been and will be situations where getting out and getting help is the best, most helpful thing I can do" and actually mean it! Without being mean to myself!
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She's doing better with her trauma than Macaque would be doing with the same ones.
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[ She dips her legs into the lazy river, watching the water ripple and swirl around her shadow-clad calves. ]
I know you worry, that you get scared for me. It's part of loving someone. ... And there's been plenty of nightmare fuel on top. [ Like the worst kind of sprinkles. ] So I wanna hear what's on your mind. Maybe between us, we can help you breath a little easier?
[ Perhaps notably, she isn't angling to try to make him Not Worry. ]
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"I'm not sure if it'll make be breathe easier, but at the very least I want to be honest with you if that's what you want." Hopefully this won't cause her to dissociate or anything.
"I have a lot of fears about you vanishing from this place. Also another situation like the jar or the glamour monsters. About me not being able to be where you need me."
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gleefuldead inside abandon. ]Mm, that's fair. As long as I don't make anything worse? [ She wouldn't on purpose, whether by putting her foot in her mouth while they're talking or carelessness in action. ] … But we already talked about stopping if we've gotta and I trust — and appreciate — how hard you always try to be honest with me, so. [ Let's do this. ]
[ Fears about her vanishing. That gives Korone a pause. Not because it's unexpected, or unreasonable, or because she hasn't had countless nightmares along those very same lines; it just happened so often, back in those other places ... She turns the thought over in her mind and nods slowly. ]
It really truly, deeply sucks to not be able to reach someone you care about. And the whole thing with the jar must've been ... [ She trails off, glancing up at him. ]
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"It was worse for you. That thing on your face and neck and not being able to do anything." Since she's more comfortable when she can fidget and interact with the world. Grounding, probably.
"That's part of why I feel like a shit for complaining."
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