castaside | [Heart Game] From the ashes we can build

MK's eyes are instantly drawn to the West door. Oh that has got to be where she is. The ice, the cracks, and just that energy coming off that. So far, it has been Wukong and Wash taking care of West. Probably should stay that way. The ice being here means she'll probably have influence no matter where they go. He looked to Red Son.

"...South again?"

Red Son is holding onto MK's arm, glaring down at the ice. "....south again," he said, and summons up a small circle of fire around them for them to walk with.

In case the ice tries to be Funny.

The ice doesn't move, but you feel it beckoning. It's hard to resist. You want to go in there.

You can feel her amusement. But Red Son also feels something else that calls to him.

MK pressed close to Red Son, arm linked in arm. He frowned at the ice as they headed south.

"...No matter what she says, it isn't true. It isn't really her," Was he saying this for Red Son or himself?

Yes.

"If it was the real her, she wouldn't risk calling out to me," Red Son said. "It's Macaque's trauma of her, the fear of her getting to us, but the real one would not call to me in this state. It'd be stupid."

He can ignore her call, but there is another? He looks around to try and identify it.

You can't see it, but you feel it. All things as one, wildfire that wants to be free. It's been here too long with nowhere to go. It longs for a place to burn.

If she's in there, so is the thing that keeps her prisoner.

"Or any of us...you'd think," MK said with a shrug. He kept walking close to Red Son, not feeling the second pull his boyfriend was.

"Not the real her. Just a bad memory. Get in, don't break anything, get out. Fill the voids. Fix the holes. We got this. We got this."

....that is concerning.

Something he will need to check, but. Let's not worry MK just yet. First see what rooms they can work in and THEN approach that can of worms.

"She may try to mess with you. I get by on rage and spite," Red Son said. "We got this."

"I mean, she's already living rent free in my head! What more can she do?" MK asked with a casual shrug. So casual. Just letting it roll off his shoulders. Totally.

"We so got this!"

"....noted," Red Son said. That is definitely a bulldozer topic to get to.

He keeps his arm hooked with MK's, squeezing his arm briefly. "Let's get to the south."

MK was gonna be bulldozered so hard when this was all over.

"South we go." He clung to Red Son and they walked into that icy corridor together.

You walk into a room that immediately feels claustrophobic. The walls are close, the ceiling is low – barely enough room to stand up in. More alarming, the walls are bleeding. The smell of blood permates the space. You can feel… not exactly like you’re being actively watched, but as though there’s a weight bearing down on you. It feels awful here. It feels like every bad thing that keeps you awake at night. You can’t wait to get out of here, so you can breathe.

There are blue cracks here and there. Floor, walls, the low ceiling. You can avoid them, and everything feels structurally stable, just don’t get careless.

The shadows here are present, but seem to be hiding. They’re on the edge of your vision but skip away when you try to look at them.

On one end of the room is another void. Between you and it, a scattering of items carelessly strewn on the floor.

> 1 glittering item that draws Red Son's attention especially
> Page of writing
> An empty sack
> A broken bottle
> A broken pen
> A pool of blood with something white floating in it

MK is gonna get bulldozed SO MUCH.

"Oh, I hate this," Red Son muttered. Looking around and noticing the scattering shadows. Like they're guilty.

Ugh.

Well, first things first. To the glittering thing.

MK on instinct actually shrank a full foot in height. Oh. This felt so small. He felt like he needed to be small. He tried to look at the shadows but they just disappeared or hid. He swallowed. His eyes moved to the blood.

Red Son went one way, he went the other. He moved in close to see what was floating in the blood.

There is a single white feather floating in the blood. You should be able to reach it without getting your shoes all bloody if you lean far over.

Even being a full foot shorter? Well...guess it was time to lean. MK leaned forward slowly and reached for the feather. His fingers touched it as he plucked it from the pool.

When you touch the blood and the feather at the same time, you get a memory so intense that it overwhelms you.

You are Macaque, and you can't believe how awful you are.

Choco's heart game is heavy in your awareness as you prepare for you own. Endless hours meditating. Trying to fight the many distractions. Remembering Choco's pain, Epsilon's, and trying to get ready for everyone to feel yours in ways that make a seed of panic burst in your chest.

Trying to think past your realization that you're in love with Red Son, and trying to make that mesh with the fact that he loves MK more. But this isn't new; everyone that you love, loves MK more. It's just how it is. You can't blame them, the kid deserves it. But it hurts all the same, it yanks at the part of you that has only ever wanted to be loved for who you are.

--You're getting lost in thought, and you need to stop. You need to protect them. You need to focus. You need to make sure that they don't come out of your heart as broken as you were when you came out of Choco's.

Even in trying to protect the people you love, you can't avoid being the worst, letting those dark feelings creep in. It's no wonder you'll never be first for them.

A spike of dark ugly emotions ripped through MK and it wasn't his own. It churned in his heart and shot down to his gut. MK was overwhelmed by the memory and fell down, right into the puddle of blood. What was more of it on his clothes than he had already anyway? It hurt to feel jealousy like that but that sad feeling mixed in. Defeat? Reluctance?

Did MK deserve it? Saya's words rang in his head. Love wasn't a zero sum game. It wasn't just all or nothing. It wasn't like cutting up a pie. Red Son loved Macaque and Macaque loved Red Son. Red Son loved him. He loved Wukong. He loved Macaque. Macaque loved him. All of them mixed together and loving but in different ways. Ways that MK didn't fully understand but at least he knew. He pushed himself up slowly and shook his head.

"We'll...talk about that later," He said as he pushed himself to his feet, the blood clinging to his clothes, his hands, and even some in his hair. Coating him in more guilt and he felt heavier for it. So heavy.

Coating yourself in the blood is like wearing the memory all over you. You aren't reliving it exactly, but it's constantly in your awareness.

It's all over him. He felt the way it clung to him. That feeling of being not the first. Not enough. That feeling of defeat. It clung to him like the blood and he tried to focus. The one good thing? It was a familiar feeling for MK. MK knew this one. He knew that weight and the gnawing it did at the base of his chest. He took a few breathes. He tried to push some of the blood off, just a little, enough to keep moving.

He needed to grab the next one. The broken pen. That's what he went for next and grabbed it.