It's extremely obvious by the smell Red Son has been drinking a good long fucking while. The amount of bottles confirm it, Macaque can barely walk without kicking one.
Red Son is laying in the middle of the living room, rumpled jeans and tank top, hair an absolute disaster, with his phone, a tablet nearby with a picture of him and MK, a bottle of fresh booze, and Shen Hong on his chest.
She tries to bat his hand with the bottle in an effort to dissuade him. He bats back and takes a long drink. "Wukong's right. The solution....was let MK kill me...it coulda work."
"Thought he'd yell. Hoped he'd hit me. Fuck, I want one of you to just hit me, then all the....the bad isn't just inside," he said. "Woulda let him throw me into a mountain. Maybe kill me if he wanted, just couldn't let MK know....no, definitely couldn't let MK know....he wouldn't miss me three days...."
"I mean, I can't hit you if you really need it. I'd prefer you heal yourself before you see anyone though, and you can't tell MK." He doesn't want it to be a whole thing. Killing, however, is a big no.
A light scoff. "He'd miss you. He might be taking time to process what happened, but he'd find out and then he'd be worse off, and I know you don't want that."
"I'd never tell MK. MK doesn't want me punished. He should. He doesn't, but he should," he said, taking another drink. "I wanna hurt. I want it out. Make....make it make sense."
"Nuh uh. He's avoiding me, which fair. Never even notice. Wukong could keep him distracted since....since he just knows how to make MK feel better."
Macaque sits down beside Red, moving whatever bottles are necessary.
"I can hurt you, but it's not going to make anything make sense. Those games, from all I know they're designed to fuck with you in exactly this way."
And then a light sigh. He loves Wukong, but he is so singleminded sometimes.
"Wukong doesn't have the secret formula to be the sole person who can comfort MK. He just never challenges him emotionally so it feels easier. MK will find his way back to you when he's ready, and it won't be long. And then you can comfort him too."
"Game didn't make me kill MK," he said, curling up on his side, around the bottle. Shen Hong hopping off with a complaining meow.
"Said communicate like a monkey. Grooming and bathing and being. Says MK responds to that even if he doesn't tell secrets," he said. "Do you treat 'im like a monkey?"
"So do you want me to hit you, or what?" He's willing to, if Red needs it. "I will if it'll get you talking."
Another sigh. Goddamnit, Wukong.
"Wukong's relationship with MK is theirs, your relationship with MK is yours, and my relationship with MK is mine. They can't be the same or operate on the same principles, so comparing them is pointless. But to answer your question: we did a lot of touching before, sure, but I wouldn't say I treat him like a monkey. I never really had a relationship with monkeys before Wukong so I don't work in the same way. The way you and MK work together isn't wrong or he wouldn't love you."
"I do. I want you to get mad at me. I hurt your mate. I killed him. You should be as mad at me as I'm mad at myself, but people just keep talking," he said, taking another long drink.
"He said it's how they communicated. How he reassured him. Adjust to monkeyness. Maybe MK needs that. Maybe....maybe he would open up more. Maybe he would....I don't wanna say he's distrusting us, but stop doing the thing where it feels like that," he said and sniffles. "He's hurting so much, Mac. He's hurting so much all the time and I took away the thing that helps the most."
"I can hit you, and I can yell, but you can't make me angry at you. If you want to get hit sit up, or your head will damage the floor." And the floor will damage his head.
He reaches out and strokes through that unruly hair, careful not to catch his fingers in it. "Try it if you like, when he can. It can't hurt. But I don't think changing who you are and how you interact with your mate is necessary. Hurts can be soothed in more than one way." Wukong seems(?) to be thinking that he and MK are fine so therefore everyone should do as he does? Which is a little nuts if you ask Macaque. Relationships are a partnership anyway, so it's not solely on Red to figure out how to interact with MK to make him better, it's a discussion, a give and take, and it results in something unique to them. That's his thought, anyway.
"You should. You have so much anger. Take it out on me," he said, forcing himself to sit up.
Only to immediately flop down the other way.
He is quite drunk. As evidence by his hair being kind of sticky, some has spilled.
"What I said. Can't hurt to give more affection. 'cept when affection hurts MK," he said.
"Been changing....changing for MK for months. Less villainy. Trying...trying to learn to help people. Trying to...to care 'bout the world a little. Didn't care about the world at all, world didn't care 'bout me, but MK loves it so....so wanted to try. For him and Mei. Changed for Saya too. Learn how to...talk about things. Feelings. Not great, but trying and she helped and then I could help MK and we...we talked so well in your heart, even with the rage incident...but apparently not enough. I still make decisions that will just break MK," he said, before finishing off the bottle.
"I know how hard you've been trying. It's hard to hear from Wukong of all people that your efforts aren't good enough. But they are, Red. Just ask MK, who is the only person who gets to decide whether your comfort mechanisms are good for him. Wukong doesn't know the inside of your relationship, and how could he?"
"You made a decision in shit circumstances to try and make things hurt overall less for MK and the rest of us. I get that, and MK will too."
He winces at discussion of "the rage incident" but there's nothing for it.
"What if MK said something?" Red Son said. "He said...said MK is always fine in the castle, but he gets crushed when he leaves. He talks to Wukong about his relationships to figure out the problems. Maybe he's just miserable when I try to help his problems," he said.
He reaches over for a bag on the ground. He sticks his hand in and pulls out a large bottle that shouldn't have fit. Hamnersoace bag is packing.
"He said I should stop making decisions. Probably just 'bout MK, but maybe he thinks all of them. I know he'd prefer if I stopped bugging him, so maybe he just hates my decisions."
Macaque's tail sweeps around to try and gently pry the bottle away. You've had enough, Red.
"Whether you're helping MK or not is between you and MK. Wukong is only seeing one side of it and apparently only thinking about one side of it. He's trying to help MK but that only means it's worth considering and talking with MK about whether he wants it, not that you necessarily need to do it unilaterally or you're fucking MK up for good."
More sighing. Wukong, what did you do?
"The decision thing is also MK's call. MK and your together. If you sit here and decide that without MK then that's terrible relationshipping. Wukong's opinion is only one, and you can take it into account, but don't decide it on your own, and certainly don't resign yourself to everything you do being shit without talking to him."
Red Son grumbles and he wraps an arm around the bottle and rolls away to try and keep hold of the bottle as he messes with the cap.
Hunching more as he talks. "...he's right though. I could have let MK kill me. If we weren't all trying to survive...all survive means you would have to handle MK but you were compromised and I wasn't good at fighting 'cause of the game and Eve didn't seem that heavy of a hitter...but I could last at least two rounds with MK with the items. I could have seen that solution at the time. Eve and you fight the probable Lady Bone Demon, I keep MK distracted at least two rounds, maybe a few more if I'm lucky, and it might have given you and Eve enough time to finish the big enemy before MK could kill you. Then he just had to never, ever see me again, but he'd be fine with all of you."
Taking. That. Bottle. Just try to fight his strength while plastered, go on.
"If you think he'd be "fine" with all of us and without you, then no amount of hitting will knock any sense into you."
He softens his somewhat harsh tone. "Wukong messed with your head again, Red. MK will come back, and you have to have your shit together when he does. If he sees this, he'll never get better, he'll only feel more guilty."
"Give it back," he whined, reaching to grab it, but no. He can't out strength monkey tail right now. He can't even sit up properly. Still, he tries, trying to climb over Macaque to reach it.
"He'll probably call. He wouldn't wanna be surprised by me right now. Gotta warn me so I don't do anything stupid," he said, flopping on Macaque. "Like I did. Like I always do. I hurt him a lot. Don't know why he wants me. Can't even help him properly..."
He could flip the bottle into a portal at any time, but at least Red is moving. Sort of. He wraps both arms around him while his tail keeps the bottle out of reach.
"You can't help him properly because you're too busy listening to Wukong and getting shitfaced and thinking the worst. I kind of want to hit you for my own reasons right now." But instead he just holds him.
"He's never miserable with Wukong," Red Son said, still lamely trying to get at the bottle, but mostly he's getting held. "No matter how bad things get, he can go to Wukong. I make him miserable. Made him miserable for months. Hurt him with the full moons. Hurt him now."
"I'm bad. Was always bad, don't know what I expected."
"And yet he chose you. He chose you first. If all he wanted was Wukong," and boy if saying that doesn't hit really badly, "he could have had that. Are you really going to turn your back on him now? Choose for him?"
"I don't want to turn my back on him. Wukong said I shouldn't choose either. And shouldn't depend on others to help fix things either which makes no sense," Red Son said, flopping against him. "I don't want to turn my back on him. Don't want to lose him. Lose my damned mind when I think I can't have him."
Way to remind Macaque that he's never been and never will be first to anyone.
But he holds on anyway, because that never stopped him from being devoted. "Then don't. It's not as difficult as you're making it. He gets to choose. Let him. Wukong doesn't get to choose for him either."
"You have to talk to him about that. Preferably while sober." Because this right here is a disaster and MK should never know about it, he'd die of guilt on the spot.
He rubs down Red's back. "Neither you nor Wukong get to sit in a room without him and decide how hurt he is or how to fix it. He deserves to be part of that discussion. All you have is Wukong's opinion. So he says that he's the only one who doesn't hurt MK? That's between him and MK. What's between you and MK is between the two of you. Wukong can give suggestions but it's not up to you to take them without consulting MK about it. Maybe he wants you to do what Wukong does, and if so I'd bet my ears that you'd be willing. But you don't know that yet. The Monkey King is hardly an expert on relationships, and definitely isn't an expert on the one you and MK have with each other."
"You know I'll be sober in a...in a few hours," he muttered, burying his face against his chest.
"MK wouldn't complain though....he'd....he'd let me treat him terribly if it meant he could keep me," he said, gripping Macaque's shirt. "He has no problems with Wukong, but I hurt him a lot and took his touch."
He starts to shake, the tears falling faster. "What if all my decisions are just the worst for him?"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Red Son is laying in the middle of the living room, rumpled jeans and tank top, hair an absolute disaster, with his phone, a tablet nearby with a picture of him and MK, a bottle of fresh booze, and Shen Hong on his chest.
She tries to bat his hand with the bottle in an effort to dissuade him. He bats back and takes a long drink. "Wukong's right. The solution....was let MK kill me...it coulda work."
no subject
"Let me guess, he came to confront you about what happened in the game and you came away feeling even more like shit?"
Wukong is shit about discussing feelings so it tracks.
no subject
Clearly, Red Son was not coping well.
"But just TALKED."
no subject
A light scoff. "He'd miss you. He might be taking time to process what happened, but he'd find out and then he'd be worse off, and I know you don't want that."
no subject
"Nuh uh. He's avoiding me, which fair. Never even notice. Wukong could keep him distracted since....since he just knows how to make MK feel better."
no subject
"I can hurt you, but it's not going to make anything make sense. Those games, from all I know they're designed to fuck with you in exactly this way."
And then a light sigh. He loves Wukong, but he is so singleminded sometimes.
"Wukong doesn't have the secret formula to be the sole person who can comfort MK. He just never challenges him emotionally so it feels easier. MK will find his way back to you when he's ready, and it won't be long. And then you can comfort him too."
no subject
"Said communicate like a monkey. Grooming and bathing and being. Says MK responds to that even if he doesn't tell secrets," he said. "Do you treat 'im like a monkey?"
no subject
Another sigh. Goddamnit, Wukong.
"Wukong's relationship with MK is theirs, your relationship with MK is yours, and my relationship with MK is mine. They can't be the same or operate on the same principles, so comparing them is pointless. But to answer your question: we did a lot of touching before, sure, but I wouldn't say I treat him like a monkey. I never really had a relationship with monkeys before Wukong so I don't work in the same way. The way you and MK work together isn't wrong or he wouldn't love you."
no subject
"He said it's how they communicated. How he reassured him. Adjust to monkeyness. Maybe MK needs that. Maybe....maybe he would open up more. Maybe he would....I don't wanna say he's distrusting us, but stop doing the thing where it feels like that," he said and sniffles. "He's hurting so much, Mac. He's hurting so much all the time and I took away the thing that helps the most."
no subject
He reaches out and strokes through that unruly hair, careful not to catch his fingers in it. "Try it if you like, when he can. It can't hurt. But I don't think changing who you are and how you interact with your mate is necessary. Hurts can be soothed in more than one way." Wukong seems(?) to be thinking that he and MK are fine so therefore everyone should do as he does? Which is a little nuts if you ask Macaque. Relationships are a partnership anyway, so it's not solely on Red to figure out how to interact with MK to make him better, it's a discussion, a give and take, and it results in something unique to them. That's his thought, anyway.
no subject
Only to immediately flop down the other way.
He is quite drunk. As evidence by his hair being kind of sticky, some has spilled.
"What I said. Can't hurt to give more affection. 'cept when affection hurts MK," he said.
"Been changing....changing for MK for months. Less villainy. Trying...trying to learn to help people. Trying to...to care 'bout the world a little. Didn't care about the world at all, world didn't care 'bout me, but MK loves it so....so wanted to try. For him and Mei. Changed for Saya too. Learn how to...talk about things. Feelings. Not great, but trying and she helped and then I could help MK and we...we talked so well in your heart, even with the rage incident...but apparently not enough. I still make decisions that will just break MK," he said, before finishing off the bottle.
no subject
"I know how hard you've been trying. It's hard to hear from Wukong of all people that your efforts aren't good enough. But they are, Red. Just ask MK, who is the only person who gets to decide whether your comfort mechanisms are good for him. Wukong doesn't know the inside of your relationship, and how could he?"
"You made a decision in shit circumstances to try and make things hurt overall less for MK and the rest of us. I get that, and MK will too."
He winces at discussion of "the rage incident" but there's nothing for it.
no subject
He reaches over for a bag on the ground. He sticks his hand in and pulls out a large bottle that shouldn't have fit. Hamnersoace bag is packing.
"He said I should stop making decisions. Probably just 'bout MK, but maybe he thinks all of them. I know he'd prefer if I stopped bugging him, so maybe he just hates my decisions."
no subject
"Whether you're helping MK or not is between you and MK. Wukong is only seeing one side of it and apparently only thinking about one side of it. He's trying to help MK but that only means it's worth considering and talking with MK about whether he wants it, not that you necessarily need to do it unilaterally or you're fucking MK up for good."
More sighing. Wukong, what did you do?
"The decision thing is also MK's call. MK and your together. If you sit here and decide that without MK then that's terrible relationshipping. Wukong's opinion is only one, and you can take it into account, but don't decide it on your own, and certainly don't resign yourself to everything you do being shit without talking to him."
no subject
Hunching more as he talks. "...he's right though. I could have let MK kill me. If we weren't all trying to survive...all survive means you would have to handle MK but you were compromised and I wasn't good at fighting 'cause of the game and Eve didn't seem that heavy of a hitter...but I could last at least two rounds with MK with the items. I could have seen that solution at the time. Eve and you fight the probable Lady Bone Demon, I keep MK distracted at least two rounds, maybe a few more if I'm lucky, and it might have given you and Eve enough time to finish the big enemy before MK could kill you. Then he just had to never, ever see me again, but he'd be fine with all of you."
no subject
"If you think he'd be "fine" with all of us and without you, then no amount of hitting will knock any sense into you."
He softens his somewhat harsh tone. "Wukong messed with your head again, Red. MK will come back, and you have to have your shit together when he does. If he sees this, he'll never get better, he'll only feel more guilty."
no subject
"He'll probably call. He wouldn't wanna be surprised by me right now. Gotta warn me so I don't do anything stupid," he said, flopping on Macaque. "Like I did. Like I always do. I hurt him a lot. Don't know why he wants me. Can't even help him properly..."
no subject
"You can't help him properly because you're too busy listening to Wukong and getting shitfaced and thinking the worst. I kind of want to hit you for my own reasons right now." But instead he just holds him.
no subject
"I'm bad. Was always bad, don't know what I expected."
no subject
no subject
no subject
But he holds on anyway, because that never stopped him from being devoted. "Then don't. It's not as difficult as you're making it. He gets to choose. Let him. Wukong doesn't get to choose for him either."
no subject
"I just...I want to stop hurting him, Mac," he said and then there's the sniffles. "I want him to stop hurting all the time. Why can't I help him?"
no subject
He rubs down Red's back. "Neither you nor Wukong get to sit in a room without him and decide how hurt he is or how to fix it. He deserves to be part of that discussion. All you have is Wukong's opinion. So he says that he's the only one who doesn't hurt MK? That's between him and MK. What's between you and MK is between the two of you. Wukong can give suggestions but it's not up to you to take them without consulting MK about it. Maybe he wants you to do what Wukong does, and if so I'd bet my ears that you'd be willing. But you don't know that yet. The Monkey King is hardly an expert on relationships, and definitely isn't an expert on the one you and MK have with each other."
no subject
"MK wouldn't complain though....he'd....he'd let me treat him terribly if it meant he could keep me," he said, gripping Macaque's shirt. "He has no problems with Wukong, but I hurt him a lot and took his touch."
He starts to shake, the tears falling faster. "What if all my decisions are just the worst for him?"
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)