castaside | [Heart Game] From the ashes we can build

[His touch is light and careful. Undoing the clasp to take off the choker.]

I just don't want you to get worse.

It sucks.

When the issues get worse. [He knows. He fights so hard to not let things make his touch issues even worse. The bruises on his shoulders are proof what happens when he doesn't push back.]

[He tugs her closer, mouth edging towards her neck.]

I know.

You're worried about me, same way I worry about you. [ She tilts her head to boop her cheek against the shoulder clasp of his battleshell, which also gives him clearer access to her neck. Her fingers curl into the back of his hoodie, tightening and loosening, almost kneading. ]

But it ... it is getting better in some ways. Could you imagine? Six months ago, me letting anyone touch me like this outside of medical care? [ It had been aspirational at best. ] I've been trying knee-high socks instead of thigh-highs. Three-quarter leggings instead of tights. Yesterday I left my room in a t-shirt.

[ There's a shiver when he's close enough for her to feel his breath. And a soft chirp, trust. ]

Really, you should come out in them more. You'd drive Eve and I absolutely wild.

[He lets his mouth hover over her neck. Letting her get used to him so close.] It had been hard, even for medical care.

I'm going to bite now. [His hands hold her sides gently. Letting her feel them, but making it so easy to pull away if she wanted to.]

[Then he moves his mouth to her neck, and biting down, gentle at first, then harder to leave a mark.]

Ehehe. You like my guns, huh? [ He might be able to feel the way she smiles, and the little hint of a puff to her feathers gives her away if not. ] Lemme show you something, after - after this. [ A tighter squeeze in the hug - after he's done biting, not after the heart. ]

[ Having him so close like this isn't wholly new by now, but it's still rare; a special occasion and a treat for them both that hits her like a truck. She makes a little sound, a lower-pitched chirrupy trill. Leans into him instead of away. Her nerves are more anticipation than fea; Donnie would never hurt her, not like this, and never by choice. Each and every time he lets her feel his teeth is a gift, and a reminder that she's his and he's hers.

That he sees her, and loves her for it.

She shudders harder when those sharp teeth press down, and muffles a gasp against his hoodie when they press in. She clings tight to him even as she melts, one hand lifting to cradle the back of his neck. Lets the pleasure-pain ache wash through her, nerves buzzing, heart soaring, relishing every single second. ]

Love your guns. [She deserves to have her guns appreciated.]

[Donnie keeps his teeth there. Deep, marking, but never more than that. Never meant to hurt his mate. And even if its not MEANT to be a heated thing, its impossible to resist the churr in his throat as he makes his mark. Hands rubbing slow circles at her sides. Holding her close.]

[Its only for a short while, maybe twenty seconds at best so it'll stay, before he gently pulls his teeth away. Turning his face to nuzzle her shoulder, hands moving to her back to rub up and down.]

[ pigeonbrain go brrrrrrrrr ]

[ twenty seconds feels like forever and no time at all when it's spent with his teeth in her throat, deep enough to hurt and gentle enough to remember, remember, remember. the next sound she buries into his hoodie is a whimper of a chirp layered over an answering churr. instinctive surrender, love and affection and pride and promise and oh god this is exactly what she needed, tethering her to this moment and this moment alone, safe and cared for, wrapped up snug in his protective embrace.

she meant what she said: this isn't about starting something. the heat is there, but it's tempered, background noise to the comfort of knowing she's wanted, that she belongs, that she has a home with him.

the churr hitches when he pulls back from the bite, tapering into more of a melty purr. chirps, love, mate, yours

gratitude. ]

[He chirps back, rubbing her back, a hand moving up to pet her hair. Rocking a bit as he keeps her close.]

[Love. Mate. Mine. Skymate. Here.]

[Soft promises and gentle affection to assure her.]

...I'm taking the next item.

[She was hit hard and while there is the heat, they have a mission.]

[ That gets him a quiet mrrrrrrr of not sure if like, which somehow doesn't stop her from being a melty purry puddle in his arms. ]

I want to. Please.

[ She reaches for her phone. Her phone, not the shadow!blackberry phones Mac gave to them. ]

After I show you this. [ He won't be able to see what this is just yet. She's tappin'. She's scrollin'. ]

Love, the bottle wasn't hard on me. It was hard because I felt for Macaque.

The painting was hard on you.

...what is it?

It was both, Dee. [ It got her straight in the heart because it's a fresh yet all-too-familiar pain. ] And it hit hard, yeah. Of course it did. But it wasn't hard in the I need to stop way. I just ... needed this. A moment with you.

I won't be hurting myself to try another.

[ He gets a ping from his own phone. ]

[ And a photo of Korone in an outfit she's been making for herself, sans the armbands and the thigh-high socks. If he zooms in, he'll see that the buttons are birdtile-themed - two for turtle, two for wolfsnek, and two for pigeon. ]

And neither would I. Hurt myself. There are still a lot of memories to go, but loneliness has always hit you hard. There's no reason for you to deliberately pick up more of the things that hit you hardest. At the very least we should be alternating.

[He looks at the photo.]

Oh. This is really cute.

Says the turtle who took three in a row in the last room. [ It's a mild grumble, as grumbles go. ] One more for me in here, and then we start alternating? We can adjust if we need to. Like if one of us really does need a break for that room, or in general, or we a second opinion or something ...

[ A tiny li'l stroke of her thumb against the back of his neck, beneatht he tails of his mask. ]

Just finished sewing it yesterday. [ She's nervous about wearing it, but so, so proud that she made it. ] Been trying to decide when to wear it.

You should wear it as soon as possible.

I should take this next one. I can take loneliness better. If there's a room of sensory horrors, which let's be fair, with his hearing, there probably is, you'll need to do it. I'm used to loneliness just....being a thing to be expected.

But I also know how to pull on the ninpo to counter it.

Besides, the three in the last room barely count. The vases were basically nothing. [At least in comparison to the memory.]

[ She pulls back. Not far - she's certainly not leaving the hug. She just wants to be able to look at him. ]

[ Her shoulders sink. ] I know they're not the same. My experiences growing up, and yours. But ... I spent a long time being left behind. Waiting. So being in this space, feeling it from his perspective ...

It feels like the right place for me to step up. [ She looks away. Fiddles a bit with his hoodie. The urge is there to stop talking, to just ... let it go, but maybe this is one of those times for honesty-? ]

And it's ... hard ... I guess, to be told that I shouldn't. I'm sorry.

....

It felt like you were insisting because you think I can't handle everything going on. You just...insisted right away after I touched the ship. Because I worried about him and wanted to help.

[He reaches up, brushing back her hair.]

It hurts you so much. I don't want you to suffer it alone.

Edited 2024-03-12 13:59 (UTC)

[ ... Oh. ]

[ She leans into the touch. Reaches up, cupping her palm over the back of his to entwine their fingers. ]

That isn't how I meant it ... but if that's how it came across, it's how it came across. [ She sighs. ] You're one of the strongest people I know. There's no way I'd ever think you're incapable. Even when you're hurting, you work so hard for the people you care about ...

I should have asked instead of insisting.

And you always step up. I can't think of any time you haven't stepped up and done everything you could to help.

[He squeezes her hand.] Even when it was actively hurting you to do so. Even when it wasn't...wasn't likely to work. [That time in the bunker. She had fought so hard, pushed past her limit, when she had already been blinded and weakened and he was a terrifying thing.]

I don't want you to take the memories alone. So.

We both should.

... There's been ... a couple of times. Or - or at the very least, times where it felt like ...

I just. I couldn't. I couldn't help, or be the person, the teammate, they needed. Or wanted. And the people around me knew it and -

[ ... ]

I know they thought less of me for it. You never have, and I know - I know your worry comes from a genuine place. Because you're my mate. My partner. And I - [ ... ] ... I don't ... want to make you feel like I don't trust you. Or appreciate the way you look out for me.

[ She leans in, pressing her forehead against his. ]

We both should. We ... we both should.

Okay.

If they thought less of you, that's their problem. Not yours. You are always doing your best. Maybe you weren't suited for the job, but if they thought you were judging you for it, then they should have been able to do the job themselves.

[Fierce and stern. No one should be looking down on Choco.] The whole POINT of a team is for different people to fulfill different roles. If they expected you to do something that wasn't your role, that's them being unreasonable.

[His hand moves to the back of her head, pressing his forehead to hers.]

Okay.

[A robot hand reaches out to pull the crook to them.]

Pretty sure they just thought I was a weak person and a liability in general, but ... [ A shaky sight that tries to be a chuckle. ] ... At this point ... I barely remember them. S'just a case of healing the scars they reopened. [ Whether they meant to or not. ] And making sure I remember not to let that old pain ... those insecurities, get the better of me. [ Especially with Donnie, who she knows has issues with feeling coddled. ]

[ The robot hand reaches, and Korone ... realises. ]

- Oh.

[ That's what he meant. This time she does laugh, if only quietly. Maybe a tiny, tiny bit wetly. ]

You meant - my bad; I thought you were agreeing we should both ask instead of insisting. [ Talk these things through so they can reach a compromise instead of automatically trying to jump in. ] Do you still want to-?

Then they were dumb and blind. [Said with utter seriousness.]

They're not worth that hold over you. [Also serious, but softer.]

What? Oh.

I mean.

Yes, we should do that too, probably, but that is harder to keep up consistently. [Between how protective they can get.] But we can share the burden of memories fairly consistently?

People are allowed to dislike me, y'know. [ It hurts and it SUCKS but even she's got to admit that sometimes, some people are going to be rubbed the way by her. Same way she's rubbed the wrong way by some people. But she's smiling.

His unwavering support means a lot. ]

Hard to keep up consistently, but definitely important to try. Even if it doesn't always work out how we'd hope. That's part of being partners, right? We try. Maybe mess up. Try again. Learn from it and each other.

[ She squeezes his hands. ]

... Yeah. If you're sure. [ A tiny nuzzle of her forehead against his. ] But - you were right, before, too. There's gonna be rooms where you're better to take the lead and vice versa. So ... this one together, and then we see how it goes?

People of poor taste.

If they disliked you, then that clearly colored their opinion which makes it even less valid. Not only are they wrong, they're wrong because they're biased.

There is a difference between disagreement and hurting you about it.

[A very, very big difference.]

That's true. We can mess up and get up again. [He presses his forehead against hers a bit more firmly.]

...okay. This one together and see for the others. This is better together, isn't it? Less lonely.

[ Her thoughts flash back to his confession in the first room. About the geniuses on Mouse, and the way they treated him. ]

... You're right.

You're right, and I love you, and I'm so ... so glad to have you with me. [ A chirp, love, that rings with gratitude and pride in him. ] Thank you, my heart.

Better together. [ She keeps his hand, the other one ready to reach for the crook when he gives the go-ahead. ] On three-?

I love you too. [He chirps in return, his own affection and appreciation, lightly pecking her on the lips.] We'll be okay. Together. We'll get through this.

[He nods and reaches out himself.]

Three.

Two.

One.

[And touch.]

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

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Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door