castaside | [Heart Game] From the ashes we can build

Really, really hard. [ She rests a hand on his shoulder, light enough to be easily shrugged off if he doesn't want it. ] I get it.

Maybe we can leave him a note? That way we're not changing anything for him; we're just ... reaching out.

.....

A note sounds good.

[He will. Put down the bottle.]

[ Korone sits down next to him, and pulls out her notebook and some pens. A few of them are purple, because of course. ]

Here. We could write one each ... or write one together?

[ Either way, she offers him the pens and paper. ]

[He sits down beside her.]

We should check the other memories before leaving something. Just in case its not just....loneliness.

... Mm.

[ She leans, very, very gently, against his arm. It's barely more than a brush of contact; a question, rather than a demand. ]

It wouldn't surprise me if there's elements of loss and grief. Maybe ... struggling to let go. That kind of thing. The feeling of being stuck waiting for someone who might not ever come. [ It's a guesstimate based on the prevalence of the cracks and the clocktower. ]

I can check the art and the crook.

[Donnie leans back against her.]

[He nods.] It would explain the clock.

Are you sure? Loneliness can hit you rather hard.

I'm sure. You're right here.

[ Presses her forehead against his shoulder. ]

Loneliness still hurts. A lot. Of course it does ...

But it's easier to climb back out of the pit when I think of you.

[He rests his cheek on top of her head.]

It is a lot easier to recover from things with you.

Grab one. Then we'll see about the other one.

M'glad to hear it. [ THAT'S LOVE, BABY. A quiet chirp of mate and partner. ] Life's better shared, you know? The world doesn't feel so overwhelming when I'm with you.

[ She has to pull away, however reluctantly, to touch the painting. Which she does, braced but as ready as she can be to roll with the punches. ]

It's difficult to tell what the painting is of, you can only see a blue sky with big fluffy clouds and perhaps the top of a mountain range? It might be this place before it was covered in ash for all you know.

You are a six-eared macaque, and you have been rejected.

The other monkeys chittered about you for only a few minutes before summarily throwing you out of the nest, out of their group. Pointing at your ears, some hissing, some howling with laughter. Saying you're bad. The noises hurt in all ways it's possible to hurt.

You don't understand their reaction until you go look in the water and see your reflection. You don't look like they do. You lift a shaking hand to three ears where one should be.

What are you? Were you a mistake? You just want to be with the other monkeys.

You'll never be allowed to be with them as long as you have these ears. You've got to find a way to get rid of them.

[ ... ]

[ oh. ]

[ oh, that hurts. ]

[ that hurts like a knife to the gut. like a thousand paper cuts, dozens layered upon dozens, one after another after another after another after ten, twenty, thirty at a time. a hollow agony with the weight of an anvil, an anchor, all sharpened points and inevitability. ]

[ korone stares at the painting, the tip of one finger still oh-so delicately pressed against it. ]

It is. [He said as she reaches out.]

[Then she is very still, just staring at the painting. He moves over to her.] Choco?

[ She doesn't respond. Or react at all, honestly; it's hard to say whether or not she even heard him. ]

....

[Oh, he's definitely taking the next one.]

[He gets up and is going to come and after some hesitation, hug her.]

[ He can feel the split second her reflexes almost, almost get the better of her. It's the start of a violent reaction that could very well end with someone getting put through a wall.

But she catches herself all but immediately, before she can hurt or yeet him, his scent registering - ]

- Donnie.

[Were spidershell hands extended to catch him just in case?]

[Maybe.]

I'm here. [But he is maintaining this hug]

Almost gave me a heart attack. [ He'll be able to hear her heart hammering in her chest, only starting to slow as she turns into his arms and presses her forehead into the crook of his neck.

Breathes him in.

Safety.

Home. ]

You okay? Did something happen?

I should be asking you that. You were gone there for a minute.

I'm —

[ she swallows thickly. "fine?" no. she's far from it.

and finally wraps her arms around him in return. ]

Just … lost in thought. [ her hesitation is palpable, but then, slowly, as her wings tuck in tighter against her back, ] It was rejection. Because he looked different. All he wanted was to belong, and they chased him off, out of the nest. They -

They were cruel.

[.....oh]

Most are. [He wraps his arms tight around her.] To what looks different.

Not all though.

Not all.

[ But enough.

It's enough, and those wounds can dig deep. They can fester. ]

They're why I always try so hard to hide my scars. One of the reasons, anyway. [ She has been making some kind of progress these past few months, though, as long as she's inside Birdtile house. It's slow and sometimes it's three steps back for every one step forward, but her loved ones have been helping her carve out a space that feels safe. ] ... So it hit close to home. Sorry for worrying you.

I hope ...

I hope we can be a safe space for him. A "home" where he can just be himself.

Of course it hit close to home. [They had been lucky. Their father knew what would happen. New York City had the advantage of ignoring A LOT of weird, but there was a line when it came to humans. They could get away walking around, even limited direct interaction. Bold faced standing out, however? That was another matter.]

[That way led to rejection and danger.]

Though I still think you look lovely.

We'll convince him. He's been able to keep them down these last few weeks. The glamours.

[ Her next breath shudders hard, and when she tries to laugh, it comes out ragged and tight, almost whisper quiet. ]

You're a turtle of taste. [ She presses closer. ] ... It's easier around you. You just ...

You see me. [ And he likes what he sees? She knows he does. She knows every compliment is the truth as he sees it, though she can't always believe it for herself. ]

And we see him. We can talk about it with him, maybe, or ... hah, maybe we can put up a few signs. [ She's half joking with that one. ] He can decide what he's comfortable with. He just has to know that he can be safe with us.

[ ... ]

Hey ... Donnie? Can I ask for -

... I guess it might be a weird favor.

[He pulls her close and settles on the ground. Reaching up to stroke her hair.] I have excellent taste.

And you are very bright.

We could have 'glamours not required' as a test. Let him know it's a safe space to decide.

Datemate can ask weird favors.

[ Ah, hairpets. Her weakness. Also cuddles. Also proximity to Donnie in general. In another place, another time, she'd likely burrow herself straight into his lap. ]

Glamours not required. [ This laugh, at least, is closest to something more normal, albeit still soft and very brief. ] Hmm. Wonder if he'd be more embarrassed about that, or ... if I painted the three of us together. No scarf, no battleshell, no glamours. What do you think-?

[ It'd be one hell of a statement. For all three of them. ]

... Okay. [ Mumbles, ] ... Could you bite me? Not to start anything, just - [ a reminder. a real, physical reminder that she can feel without touching. ]

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door

Re: Level S (sub 1) - East Door